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Wedding Party

just needed to write it out i guess

I found out today that my out of town matron of honor is pregnant with twins and due 5 days after my wedding. I'm so thrilled for her and her husband but of course I'm a little bummed that she will no longer be able to travel to be at my wedding or shower/bachlorette party.

My other bridesmaids are in other countries/other states so I'm feeling a bit lonely right now. Well, a lot lonely. 

I moved to this strange city for.my at the time.boyfriend, now fiance but I still don't feel at home here while everyone else is away.
Anyone have any suggestions for beating the winter blues? I'd really appreciate a friend right now.

Re: just needed to write it out i guess

  • edited December 2013
    Definitely time to find an organization that needs a volunteer.  At this time of year, maybe you can call places that provide services to children (i.e. foster care and abused children's shelters) and offer to help with their holiday parties.  Nothing like giving from the heart to give your spirit a lift.  The handy byproduct is that you will meet some wonderful, giving people.
  • Get involved - if you're religious, find a place of worship; go volunteer; get a job on the side where you interact with people (retail or service); start exploring your city on foot - you'll get exercise and feel more familiar/at home; schedule dates with you fiance at a new restaurant once a week to start finding your favorites; schedule a bar crawl some Saturday night with anyone you kind of know to explore the local bars and get to know people a little better. 

    It's just going to take time and effort, but soon I'm sure it'll feel like home.

  • I third getting involved, it will do wonders for your spirit. 

    Also know that you're not alone, you're with your almost husband. Yes, it can be sucky, but take a step back and just enjoy how well things are going for you. You're getting married and your nearest and dearest is having twins! Lots to be filled with gratitude over.

  • When I moved to a different state to live with my then BF, now FI- I felt very similarly.  We also did not have internet, no TV, and I worked days and he worked evenings; I felt very lonely, and a bit bored at first.  Rather than feel lonely, I brought a book down to a local bar and just hung out at the bar, and eventually started talking to people.  I was completely surprised about how good it felt just to chit chat with strangers, and I'm still friends with some of the people I met that evening.  Also, if you bring a book, it's easy to look preoccupied if you aren't quite feeling the group that's there.

    It's also a great chance to explore the bars/ libraries/ coffee houses/ etc. around you.  

    I also agree with what PPs said; find somewhere to volunteer or pick up a seasonal retail job if you have the time!

    Good luck! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Does your FI live in the area and have friends?  Perhaps you can invite FI's friends' GFs or Ws out for a drink.  Get to know them better.  I'm sure you will be seeing them around anyway.

    PP have great advice too!  If you miss some friends from back home or any relatives, ask them to Skype with you.  It's much better than standard phone call.  H & I will skype when I have to go away for work - as sometimes I'm gone for a whole week.

  • I know exactly how you feel.  Three years ago my (then BF) FI and I moved from LI to Central PA.  Its only about 4 hours away but it felt like a million!  At first we had no internet and still don't have cable tv (just an atenea and netflixs).  I was working retail at the time, so I got to meet a lot of people, and that really helped me out, but my FI was jobless and friendless.  A lot of our LI "friends" didn't bother to keep touch either, so I felt like everyone in the World was abandoning us.

    After four months I made a "friend" that I actually saw outside of work, and from there I networked with their firends and so on until we formed a group.  FI has done the same at his job now.  In the meantime I would absolutly volunteer or just go out.  That is what we did, and we explored every county within 50 miles of our home.  It really helped me to feel connected, and even if you don't make long term friends it feels good to just talk to people and interact with society.

    Good luck, and have fun exploring your new home!

  • Aww I know how you feel, too!  My FI moved us to GA from MD back in May.  I was working for my same retail company as a transfer, but they recently closed so I'm not even working now.  I sometimes see my old coworkers or we sometimes will go out and see his coworkers (but he's not really friends with them), but not often and we're basically all alone here.  It stinks, but I find a bunch of different things help: I Skype with my mom every now and then, we have two dogs that I spoil rotten, we volunteer at FI's work events, and if all else fails I go shopping (even if not to buy things, I'll go to our local mall where one of my old coworkers now works, or I go to Barnes and Noble and read on my Nook).  I wish I had better advice, but I'm right with you on the lonely boat!  That's why we have the Knot message boards! :)

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