Catholic Weddings

Questions about Catholic Ceremonies

edited November 2013 in Catholic Weddings
Good Morning Ladies.  

My FI and I are getting married on March 15, 2014.  Yes, we are aware it's during lent and originally had been told no by our church, however they turned around and said that they would have no problem allowing us to get married in their church.  They said that there are no rules stating we can't get married during lent.  They could have stuck with saying no, and we would have had our ceremony at a different church.  We have a priest from another church performing the ceremony as he is a close family friend of my family and has married my brother and sister-in-law.  He had told me at their wedding that if/when I were to get married, he would be honored to do it, should he still be alive when it happens.  Of course, he was joking with that last statement, but non-the-less, we did ask him to marry us at our church.  Thankfully, we don't have to jump through too many hoops for that.  Since he's a priest within the diocese, he can perform the ceremony so long as he lets our church know that he will be performing the ceremony for us.  He has already sent a letter to the Church making them aware that he will be performing the ceremony.  They've checked with the diocese and everything is on the up & up.  Which is great.  

Anyhow.  When I went to the parish office about a month ago, I asked for information on readings, prayers, etc.  She said that they only do 2 readings, that are generic wedding ceremony readings and the rest is determined by the priest.  I told her that I was advised by my priest that there is a book that we would be able to chose our readings from, etc.  She said that she has no recollection of such book.  We then asked her for the organist information, to which we received his name and number.  So needless to say, I have to make a phone call to the organist.  No big deal at all.  I contacted our priest that is marrying us and he told me to come to his church and after mass he'll give me the book.  So, we drove the 45 minutes to his church and received the book that he was telling us about.  There are TONS of readings to chose from and they're broken down into 1st reading, 2nd reading, gospel, prayers and what have you.  I'm super excited about the book and have dog eared some readings that I think would fit perfectly for our wedding ceremony.  I just have to go over them with FI to see if he feels the same.  

We are not perfect catholics.  We don't go to church every Sunday, but we do attend at least 2 or 3x a month.  We switch it up between our church and the church our priest is apart of.  That way we have a presence in our church as well as in front of the priest who will be marrying us.  We've completed Pre-cana and learned ALOT from it.  I never knew NFP was such a big thing with the church and I feel horrible that I am on the pill.  My FI and I have decided that once we are married, we will use NFP.  Anyhow.  Back to the topic of this post.  

I have a couple of questions about the catholic ceremony:
1) Who should I pick to do the readings?  
2) Does the person have to be a practicing catholic in order to do the reading?
3) If members of the bridal party are not catholic, how do you handle communion during mass for those individuals?
4) Can we ask the priest to give each member of the bridal party communion, rather then having to walk up to the alter for communion?
5) Who should we choose to bring up the gifts during mass?  
6) Can we say our own vows or use those provided by the church? 

I plan to invite our priest over for dinner soon so that he can get to know FI and I a little better.  He likes to get to know the couple he's marrying so he can tweak the ceremony to be more personal for us.  He did the same for my brother & sister-in-law and it was beautiful.  

I'm so for being so long winded, but I'm excited and can't seem to find the answers online.  I'm sure they're there, but they must be hiding.  LOL.

Thanks for all your help in advance.  I appreciate it all!!!


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Re: Questions about Catholic Ceremonies

  • Readers should believe what they read, and be good at reading publicly. Ideally they are practicing Catholics who perform the ministry in their own church, but its not necessary.

    Let the priest know which people in your party are not Catholic,let him take care of the logistics of communion. No need to worry about it. The church and the priest have their own way of handling these things through experience. 

    Gift bearers should be Catholic. You can have parents do it if you want.

    You cannot say your own vows. You must say the ones put forth by the church, this is the proper form of the sacrament.


    Regarding the other stuff: I just want to encourage you to go to mass every Sunday. Marriage is a vocational sacrament where you are promising to live out the Gospel. Confession is great in order to start new. 

    Also, regarding NFP: I would suggest you get off the pill immediately. Learning NFP can be somewhat challenging, but add into the mix the hormones from getting off the pill and it can be more so. Learning NFP requires you abstain from sex, so why not now, before marriage. Also, the pill is not good for you anyway, and can be abortive.

    A couple good books: Theology of the body for beginners and Good news about sex and marriage by Christopher West. 
    mrsmorales2be
  • Sorry, I'm trying not to have this following post sound rude. But these are honestly simple things.

    How were you raised Catholic without knowing that contraception and premarital sex is wrong? (There are almost zero medical reasons to be on the Pill, so I'm assuming here that you and your FI have sex and use the Pill to prevent pregnancy). You've honestly lived your entire Catholic adult life thinking this is okay?

    How do you not know that non-Catholics cannot receive communion at a Catholic mass?

    How is it possible that you've completed Pre-Cana but didn't know that Marriage is a Sacrament thus writing your own vows is not an option?


    Eeek.
    lizybeffKittyKaty20

  • I have a couple of questions about the catholic ceremony:
    1) Who should I pick to do the readings?
    2) Does the person have to be a practicing catholic in order to do the reading?
    Ask your priest about this, but the general rule is the person who is doing the reading should believe in what they are reading. (So it may be possible to have a Jewish friend do the old testament reading but not a new testament reading). You should pick people who are comfortable with public speaking and that you want to honor. We asked my SIL and H's Godmother (also his aunt).

    3) If members of the bridal party are not catholic, how do you handle communion during mass for those individuals?
    They do not receive communion. The priest will likely communicate this to the wedding party. Our priest made a point of asking who was Catholic at the rehearsal and asked that if he forgot and tried to give the non-catholics communion that they just put one finger over their lips (like a shhh gesture) to remind him.

    4) Can we ask the priest to give each member of the bridal party communion, rather then having to walk up to the alter for communion?
    I would let the priest worry about logistics.

    5) Who should we choose to bring up the gifts during mass?
    IMO you should pick practicing Catholics for this (although you can ask your priest). Many people chose to have the mothers or parents. Godparents are another popular choice or nieces or nephews (assuming they are old enough handle it understand the importance). We chose to have our two ushers who were friends bring up the gifts.

    6) Can we say our own vows or use those provided by the church?
    You need to say specific vows but are some options. For more info see
    http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/wedding-planning/08-choose-vows.htm

    Catholicweddinghelp.com is a great resource.


    image
    soontobemrsbuccherisnippet17
  • edited November 2013
    itzMS said:

    Sorry, I'm trying not to have this following post sound rude. But these are honestly simple things.

    How were you raised Catholic without knowing that contraception and premarital sex is wrong? (There are almost zero medical reasons to be on the Pill, so I'm assuming here that you and your FI have sex and use the Pill to prevent pregnancy). You've honestly lived your entire Catholic adult life thinking this is okay?

    How do you not know that non-Catholics cannot receive communion at a Catholic mass?

    How is it possible that you've completed Pre-Cana but didn't know that Marriage is a Sacrament thus writing your own vows is not an option?


    Eeek.

    First, I do have a medical reason for me to be on the pill so, your statement hits hard. If I had a choice, I would not be on the pill but sadly if I don't have something to control my cycle in some way, I would be buying stock in feminine products to the point where I could run my own store. My FI and I don't use the pill to prevent pregnancy. It's medically necessary for me. We have discussed that as soon as we are married I will stop the pill so that we can have a child. Once said child is born, we will see how my cycles are and if I don't have to return to the pill, I won't. I have been on the pill for so long now that I don't know what my cycle will be like.

    I am fully aware non-Catholics are not to take communion during mass. I'm not stupid. I was asking how it should be handled. I didn't want to point fingers and say that so and so is not catholic. I wanted to see how it should be handled. No need to belittle me.

    I was just asking a question about the vows. I'm fully aware that marriage is a sacrament. I think the next time you respond to something like this that you read what others say. I go to church as often as I can...I'm not perfect and last I remember hearing the pope is working on allowing the pill as they (the church) can't control how people have or don't have children. Times have changed and so has the church.

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  • Readers should believe what they read, and be good at reading publicly. Ideally they are practicing Catholics who perform the ministry in their own church, but its not necessary.

    Let the priest know which people in your party are not Catholic,let him take care of the logistics of communion. No need to worry about it. The church and the priest have their own way of handling these things through experience. 

    Gift bearers should be Catholic. You can have parents do it if you want.

    You cannot say your own vows. You must say the ones put forth by the church, this is the proper form of the sacrament.


    Regarding the other stuff: I just want to encourage you to go to mass every Sunday. Marriage is a vocational sacrament where you are promising to live out the Gospel. Confession is great in order to start new. 

    Also, regarding NFP: I would suggest you get off the pill immediately. Learning NFP can be somewhat challenging, but add into the mix the hormones from getting off the pill and it can be more so. Learning NFP requires you abstain from sex, so why not now, before marriage. Also, the pill is not good for you anyway, and can be abortive.

    A couple good books: Theology of the body for beginners and Good news about sex and marriage by Christopher West. 

    That, too. 

    I will be stopping the pill once we are married. It is necessary for me to be on the pill for medical reasons. See post if wrote before this one.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
    01/03/81
    06/18/81
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    image172 Invites sent
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    image 40 are party poopers
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  • itzMS said:

    Sorry, I'm trying not to have this following post sound rude. But these are honestly simple things.

    How were you raised Catholic without knowing that contraception and premarital sex is wrong? (There are almost zero medical reasons to be on the Pill, so I'm assuming here that you and your FI have sex and use the Pill to prevent pregnancy). You've honestly lived your entire Catholic adult life thinking this is okay?

    How do you not know that non-Catholics cannot receive communion at a Catholic mass?

    How is it possible that you've completed Pre-Cana but didn't know that Marriage is a Sacrament thus writing your own vows is not an option?


    Eeek.

    First, I do have a medical reason for me to be on the pill so, your statement hits hard. If I had a choice, I would not be on the pill but sadly if I don't have something to control my cycle in some way, I would be buying stock in feminine products to the point where I could run my own store. My FI and I don't use the pill to prevent pregnancy. It's medically necessary for me. We have discussed that as soon as we are married I will stop the pill so that we can have a child. Once said child is born, we will see how my cycles are and if I don't have to return to the pill, I won't. I have been on the pill for so long now that I don't know what my cycle will be like.

    I am fully aware non-Catholics are not to take communion during mass. I'm not stupid. I was asking how it should be handled. I didn't want to point fingers and say that so and so is not catholic. I wanted to see how it should be handled. No need to belittle me.

    I was just asking a question about the vows. I'm fully aware that marriage is a sacrament. I think the next time you respond to something like this that you read what others say. I go to church as often as I can...I'm not perfect and last I remember hearing the pope is working on allowing the pill as they (the church) can't control how people have or don't have children. Times have changed and so has the church.

    ______

    Sorry, but your original post was worded as very uninformed. I can only work with what you wrote, given this is an anonymous public forum and I obviously don't know you.

    I'm not going to further argue against the Pill for "medical reasons" (there are other options) But I know for certain that the Church won't be approving of contraception any time in our lifetime. Yikes.

    http://www.catholic.com/tracts/birth-control
    lizybeff
  • itzMS said:

    itzMS said:

    Sorry, I'm trying not to have this following post sound rude. But these are honestly simple things.

    How were you raised Catholic without knowing that contraception and premarital sex is wrong? (There are almost zero medical reasons to be on the Pill, so I'm assuming here that you and your FI have sex and use the Pill to prevent pregnancy). You've honestly lived your entire Catholic adult life thinking this is okay?

    How do you not know that non-Catholics cannot receive communion at a Catholic mass?

    How is it possible that you've completed Pre-Cana but didn't know that Marriage is a Sacrament thus writing your own vows is not an option?


    Eeek.

    First, I do have a medical reason for me to be on the pill so, your statement hits hard. If I had a choice, I would not be on the pill but sadly if I don't have something to control my cycle in some way, I would be buying stock in feminine products to the point where I could run my own store. My FI and I don't use the pill to prevent pregnancy. It's medically necessary for me. We have discussed that as soon as we are married I will stop the pill so that we can have a child. Once said child is born, we will see how my cycles are and if I don't have to return to the pill, I won't. I have been on the pill for so long now that I don't know what my cycle will be like.

    I am fully aware non-Catholics are not to take communion during mass. I'm not stupid. I was asking how it should be handled. I didn't want to point fingers and say that so and so is not catholic. I wanted to see how it should be handled. No need to belittle me.

    I was just asking a question about the vows. I'm fully aware that marriage is a sacrament. I think the next time you respond to something like this that you read what others say. I go to church as often as I can...I'm not perfect and last I remember hearing the pope is working on allowing the pill as they (the church) can't control how people have or don't have children. Times have changed and so has the church.

    ______

    Sorry, but your original post was worded as very uninformed. I can only work with what you wrote, given this is an anonymous public forum and I obviously don't know you.

    I'm not going to further argue against the Pill for "medical reasons" (there are other options) But I know for certain that the Church won't be approving of contraception any time in our lifetime. Yikes.

    http://www.catholic.com/tracts/birth-control
    NFP has a 99% success rate...
    Pill has a 99% success rate...

    There is that 1% that a pregnancy can happen. Yes there are other ways to keep control of cycles BUT not ones that are temporary and can be stopped should a pregnancy want to be planned.

    I'm sorry if I sounded uninformed. I certainly didn't want to sound that way.

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  • Sorry, I'm trying not to have this following post sound rude. But these are honestly simple things. How were you raised Catholic without knowing that contraception and premarital sex is wrong? (There are almost zero medical reasons to be on the Pill, so I'm assuming here that you and your FI have sex and use the Pill to prevent pregnancy). You've honestly lived your entire Catholic adult life thinking this is okay? How do you not know that non-Catholics cannot receive communion at a Catholic mass? How is it possible that you've completed Pre-Cana but didn't know that Marriage is a Sacrament thus writing your own vows is not an option? Eeek.
    First, I do have a medical reason for me to be on the pill so, your statement hits hard. If I had a choice, I would not be on the pill but sadly if I don't have something to control my cycle in some way, I would be buying stock in feminine products to the point where I could run my own store. My FI and I don't use the pill to prevent pregnancy. It's medically necessary for me. We have discussed that as soon as we are married I will stop the pill so that we can have a child. Once said child is born, we will see how my cycles are and if I don't have to return to the pill, I won't. I have been on the pill for so long now that I don't know what my cycle will be like. I am fully aware non-Catholics are not to take communion during mass. I'm not stupid. I was asking how it should be handled. I didn't want to point fingers and say that so and so is not catholic. I wanted to see how it should be handled. No need to belittle me. I was just asking a question about the vows. I'm fully aware that marriage is a sacrament. I think the next time you respond to something like this that you read what others say. I go to church as often as I can...I'm not perfect and last I remember hearing the pope is working on allowing the pill as they (the church) can't control how people have or don't have children. Times have changed and so has the church.
    Just curious where you heard this.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited November 2013
    The pope is NOT working on a way to get the pill allowed. That is crazy talk. Church teaching WILL NOT ever change. Ever. If it did, it wouldn't be truth, because truth doesn't change. 


    Just to be clear, morally, the church is completely ok with treating a medical issue that has unintended side effects. (Such as synthetic hormones causing sterility) Another example would be amputating a diseased limb, for the greater good. 

    Medically though: 
    Honestly, there are no medical reasons for the pill that can't be helped in some other healthier way. I have a long list of docs who will not prescribe it because it is poison. (A group 1 carcinogen among other things).

    Please look into NAPRO technology. The pill is NOT regulating your cycles. It is giving you a false impression of having a cycle. It is shutting down the process, not helping it. It just masks the symptoms rather than fixing the problem.

    You can find lists of docs on these sites that can help you. I had lots of problems (and some I didn't even know about until I started charting), that normally would have been prescribed the pill. Napro doc diagnosed the issue and helped fix the problems. No pill needed. 



    amaryann210
  • "First, I do have a medical reason for me to be on the pill so, your statement hits hard. If I had a choice, I would not be on the pill but sadly if I don't have something to control my cycle in some way, I would be buying stock in feminine products to the point where I could run my own store. My FI and I don't use the pill to prevent pregnancy. It's medically necessary for me. We have discussed that as soon as we are married I will stop the pill so that we can have a child. Once said child is born, we will see how my cycles are and if I don't have to return to the pill, I won't. I have been on the pill for so long now that I don't know what my cycle will be like."



    There are ladies on this board that have struggled with severe medical conditions like PCOS, endometriosis, etc that have had better results using NFP methods. We have some NFP teachers here too. A great wealth of knowledge! Typically those with medical ailments follow the Creighton method which utilizes NaPro technology. If you have an NFP/NaPro doctor nearby, you might want to meet with them to discuss your situation, get another perspective. In many cases, the pill is only covering up those pesky symptoms and not really "solving" the underlying problem. So, the minute you come off the pill, your body is still suffering. Unfortunately many doctors aren't aware of these methods and are very quick to say that the pill is the only option. I obviously don't know your specific situation, but thought this info might be beneficial to you. I hope whatever it is can be resolved simply and quickly. Sorry that you've felt a bit put off by the responses here. Best wishes to you on your journey to marriage. Please let us know if you have any further questions!
  • Just curious, what specifically are the NaPro technologies?  I looked at the link Carrie provided, and there's a lot of info about charting, but once a problem is uncovered by charting, what exactly is done to fix a problem?  Non-hormonal medications?  Something else?  For example, what would a NaPro doctor do for someone like the OP with painfully heavy periods?
  • With all due respect to those trying to educate on how the pill is not condoned by the church, pre-maritial sex etc.. those weren't the questions she was asking about.  Observing some of the comments - geez.  There was really zero need to bash this woman.  You could tell she was excited, you could tell she REALLY wanted your advice (doesn't matter if you think she should have learned all this in pre-Cana, through a priest etc..).  I'm Catholic.  I've got lots of Catholic friends, and every one is in a different place in our Catholic faith.. Do we seriously want to alienate each other?  I don't.  And I WANT someone to be able to come to me and ask a question without fear I'm going to judge them.. because that's not my job.  And it's not yours.  @soontobemrs..., you don't owe anyone here an explanation of your choice to use the pill, nor should you give one.  The only one you answer to is God.  I'm not going to answer your original questions because Tami87 did a good job of that.
    soontobemrsbuccheriJtsma10
  • THe charting is the first step to give a window into where the problem might be, or even possibly detecting serious issues as well.

    My first issue was difficulty in learning charting-- due to constant, what appeared to be fertile signs. With that, I had to learn to observe even more detail to find that there are even differences in that, and know how to tell the difference. This was a symptom of cervical eversion. I had a very minor procedure done to stop that symptom, and it worked. 

    2nd, was minor PCOS. Put on blood sugar medication, and fixed it completely. Since I've lost weight, I've been taken off the blood sugar meds. (and things are fine). Also, diet can help this. 

    3rd, was a dramatic time in my life knocked my hormones out of wack,-namely progesterone. Depression (and lots of other symptoms) came on at certain times. Most people go on prozac for this. I went on natural progesterone (helps the body make more of its own) , at the right time of the cycle, that completely fixed this issue. The symptoms of low progesterone can also be a sign of polyps, cysts, or even pre-cancerous. I had all of that tested.

    4th-- even while on progesterone, had some signs come back, dr. did a dnc and hysteroscopy and cleaned it out, fixed the issues.

    There is a napro doc here that specializes in endo treatments, to fix the issues permanently. This is mostly surgical I believe. 

    Regarding the pain, it depends on the source for what is causing it. I know my doc has given pain meds while they are trying to diagnose the issue at first. Their ultimate goal is to get OFF of medication, if possible. 

    There's a book called Fertility, cycles, and nutrition that is good too. 
  • interesting info, thanks.  I'm lucky that I have not had any gyn problems to deal with thus far, but i know a lot of women who are on the pill, mirena etc for non-birth control reasons. 
  • Riss91 said:

    "First, I do have a medical reason for me to be on the pill so, your statement hits hard. If I had a choice, I would not be on the pill but sadly if I don't have something to control my cycle in some way, I would be buying stock in feminine products to the point where I could run my own store. My FI and I don't use the pill to prevent pregnancy. It's medically necessary for me. We have discussed that as soon as we are married I will stop the pill so that we can have a child. Once said child is born, we will see how my cycles are and if I don't have to return to the pill, I won't. I have been on the pill for so long now that I don't know what my cycle will be like."



    There are ladies on this board that have struggled with severe medical conditions like PCOS, endometriosis, etc that have had better results using NFP methods. We have some NFP teachers here too. A great wealth of knowledge! Typically those with medical ailments follow the Creighton method which utilizes NaPro technology. If you have an NFP/NaPro doctor nearby, you might want to meet with them to discuss your situation, get another perspective. In many cases, the pill is only covering up those pesky symptoms and not really "solving" the underlying problem. So, the minute you come off the pill, your body is still suffering. Unfortunately many doctors aren't aware of these methods and are very quick to say that the pill is the only option. I obviously don't know your specific situation, but thought this info might be beneficial to you. I hope whatever it is can be resolved simply and quickly. Sorry that you've felt a bit put off by the responses here. Best wishes to you on your journey to marriage. Please let us know if you have any further questions!

    Thank you for your words of advice. I will look up the information you provided and see if there is an underlying issue besides the ones I've been diagnosed with. I originally didn't come on here for family planning advice but I walked away with a ton of info. Thanks!!! (However I could have done with out the negativity)

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    06/18/81
    08/25/10
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    image172 Invites sent
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  • One person spoke with snark and many spoke with kindness and care... let's not put blinders on to that, by pretending the entire post was hostile.

    soontobe - please let us know if you need anything further! FWIW, I grew up Catholic, went to CCD, received my sacraments and didn't know some of the biggest "rules" and most important doctrine of the faith until I came to this board. I wouldn't blame anyone for not knowing this stuff bc our religious education in this country is horrendously inconsistent.
    soontobemrsbuccheriprofessorscienceKittyKaty20
  • gm5 said:

    With all due respect to those trying to educate on how the pill is not condoned by the church, pre-maritial sex etc.. those weren't the questions she was asking about.  Observing some of the comments - geez.  There was really zero need to bash this woman.  You could tell she was excited, you could tell she REALLY wanted your advice (doesn't matter if you think she should have learned all this in pre-Cana, through a priest etc..).  I'm Catholic.  I've got lots of Catholic friends, and every one is in a different place in our Catholic faith.. Do we seriously want to alienate each other?  I don't.  And I WANT someone to be able to come to me and ask a question without fear I'm going to judge them.. because that's not my job.  And it's not yours.  @soontobemrs..., you don't owe anyone here an explanation of your choice to use the pill, nor should you give one.  The only one you answer to is God.  I'm not going to answer your original questions because Tami87 did a good job of that.

    This is a public forum, so all opinions are welcome and we can post how we like, but thanks for the wrist slap.

    I apologized in advance to her for coming across as "rude", but after reading the OP, I was honestly concerned that it appeared she didn't know even the most basic of values.


    She later clarified. The end.



  • I haven't read it, but for someone who is really interested in delving deeper into the scientific/medical aspects of NAPRO, the book "The NaPro Technology Revolution" CLICKY comes highly recommended.
    Anniversary
  • Catholicwife! I know the other one..Brooke. She was in st. louis. (I can't remember if the blonde was here too)/ 
  • About your WP receiving communion without processing with the rest of the guests, that could depend on the set-up of your church.  At some churches, the WP sits in the first row of pews during the ceremony.  At our church, there were seats at either side of the altar where the WP sat, so the priest gave communion to us, then our WP, then walked to the front for the guests.  It's all about logistics.

    About the readings, we had our dads do them.  We chose an apocryphal reading for the OT passage, so we had FIL (who is Catholic) do that one.  My dad (not Catholic) did the NT reading.  It was a nice way to include our family in such an important day.
    Anniversary

    image

    image

    Jtsma10
  • About your WP receiving communion without processing with the rest of the guests, that could depend on the set-up of your church.  At some churches, the WP sits in the first row of pews during the ceremony.  At our church, there were seats at either side of the altar where the WP sat, so the priest gave communion to us, then our WP, then walked to the front for the guests.  It's all about logistics.

    About the readings, we had our dads do them.  We chose an apocryphal reading for the OT passage, so we had FIL (who is Catholic) do that one.  My dad (not Catholic) did the NT reading.  It was a nice way to include our family in such an important day.
    Our church is old and I'm not sure how they sit the WP.  I have a feeling they will be in the first row, but I could be wrong.  We will know more once we have the rehearsal.  

    I think we are going to have my Brother and my Aunt (Godmother) do the readings.  My Son will likely do a prayer, but we will see once we get to that point.  I'm still trying to get FI to get on board with the readings.  The past week or so has been pretty rough with decisions.  Heh.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Michelle & Ronald
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    Need 8 adults to make minimum.  Eek.
  • You handled that really well. I'm sorry you were attacked like that. :o(
  • I wanted to comment on the little book you were told to ask for about readings. The parish we were married in provided it and it's called Together for Life. Here's the website (you can order it yourself):

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