Scheduling Around Bridal Parties

Re: Scheduling Around Bridal Parties

• Weesh member

  

  December 2013

  I would say that if you're big into dancing, a Saturday night wedding would be the place where I'd dance more versus a Sunday afternoon with mimosas.  That screams brunch/casual/relaxing versus dinner, dancing, drinks on a Saturday night.  I think it's great that you're asking your VIPs, but I'd go with the availability of her sister instead of your bridesman.  It stinks, but what can you do?  Good luck!

  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  December 2013

  I've been to Sunday (day) weddings where there was a ton of dancing. I think it all depends on the people. I'm having a Saturday afternoon wedding and since our friends are big drinkers and dancers, I'm expecting a lot of dancing. 

  
  

  I don't know how I'd feel about a wedding the day after Fourth of July though. I do know a lot of people that vacation that week, so you might have people that won't be able to attend. I wouldn't mind having to take a Monday off of work. But it might be a slight annoyance if I had to change my plans (hosting a party, or attending a party, etc.). 

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• EverAfer member

  

  December 2013

  Sunday weddings can be fun.  But if it's day 3 of a 3-day weekend, I would be ready to wind down for the weekend at that point.  Lunch and mimosa sounds great but it's not the kind of thing that gets me on the dance floor.  Fridays and Saturdays are better for that as I know I can sleep in the next day. 

  
  

  If I had to travel to your wedding, I would not want to have to take an extra day off-Monday.  It would mean that FH and I would both have to use up an extra vacation day.  Also, if it's a morning wedding on 7/5, that means people will be traveling the day before anyway-which is 7/4? I have never flown on 7/4 so I don't know if that will be more of an inconvenience or if it will annoy some people.

  
  

  I think sticking to your date of the 11th or 18th will work out better.  You should probably consider other events happening in your town around that time frame too.  If you're in  a high tourist area and it draws alot of visitors around 7/4, then I would definitely go with one of the other dates.

  
  

  Pick a date that works for you and most of your guests.  It will be likely that a few people who you really want to be there just won't make it.
  

  
  

  
  

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• WildMagelet member

  

  December 2013

  If the sister is flying halfway around the world I she might not be over her jetlag by the time your wedding rolls around the next day (if you have it on the 5th.)

  
  

  Personally I would pick inviting my FI's sister (who she's close enough to be MOH) versus one of my friends (even if I was going to ask them to be a BM).

  
  

  I'm also not a big fan of holiday weekend weddings.  If your guests have longstanding annual plans they may decline or feel inconvenienced even if they do come.

  
  

  Does the choir group actually have anything booked or are they just in the planning stages?  1.5 years seems really far out.  He knows you're not talking about 2014, right?  It would suck for you to plan around your friend and not the sister and then lose touch, have a falling out, him quitting the choir or the group disassembling, the choir changing the dates of their trip or not end up going and having it be a non-issue.

  
  

  What's the reason for the restrictive travel dates for the sister?  Is that for the whole year or just if you have it during the summer?  What if you plan during another season (say, late spring or early fall)? 

  Formerly known as flutterbride2b

  
  

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• BMoreBride6 member

  

  December 2013

  In this case, I think the sister/MOH trumps friend.  While it would be great to have them both, I think expecting her to travel half way around the world then be ready to go for a wedding the next day is expecting a little too much here.  

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• photokitty mod

  

  December 2013

  I had my wedding on July 3rd, the date of the HUGE fireworks display in my city. We selected a venue that we could see them from and it was great! Some people didn't make it bc of the holiday, but we were ok with it. Our VIPs were there and everyone who came had a great time. 

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• MandyMost member

  

  December 2013

  I would consider doing it July 11th, and if your friend really wants to he can attend the wedding, and then fly out and join the rest of his choir on the 12th, only 2 days late. If he's not willing to alter his plans by 2 days, then you shouldn't have to worry about altering all of your plans completely to accommodate him. And even if he can't be there for the wedding, you can always Skype him in to say congrats pre-wedding, and he can attend some pre-wedding bridal activities like a shower or bachelorette, etc. 

  
  

  For the sister/MOH, I think the 18th would be best. That way she could get to town the 4th, and then have 2 weeks to attend a shower/bachelorette, participate in some last-minute wedding activities, etc.  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  December 2013

  waxwolf said:

  Hi All,

  
  

  I'm having a conundrum!  My fiancee and I are shooting for a 2015 summer wedding.  Her sister (and maid of honor) can only be in town from July 4th until the 20th - coming from practically the other side of the planet.  We had figured July 11th or 18th would be perfect dates for a wedding - both Saturdays.  However, when I told one of my best friends, whom I was planning on asking to be a bridesman for me (lesbian wedding), he said he couldn't do either of those dates, because his choir has been planning a trip to England leaving on the 10th and staying for 3 weeks.  I thought I would be the only one planning so far in advance, but I guess that goes to show what assuming does.

  
  

  I really want him to be able to come, but I don't want to inconvenience everyone else.  Would a 5th of July wedding on a Sunday be too awkward for most people?  I think you risk a lot of declines going that route.  Plus your sister will be very jet lagged.  We're planning on inviting people from all over the country as our families and friends are very spread out.  I don't want to mess with people's 4th of July plans AND potentially make them take extra time off work on Monday.  Is inviting this potential bridesman just a lost cause?  I think it is, honestly.  Unless you move your wedding to a different month in 2015 when both your sister and this friend can make it.
  

  
  

  Also, on a related note: the fiancee and I are big into dancing.  Are guests less inclined to dance on a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon with only mimosas to encourage them?  I think evening weddings have more of a party atmosphere, but just my opinion.
  

  
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• waxwolf member

  

  December 2013

  Thanks for all the replies!

  I hadn't really thought about MOH's jetlag, so looks like the 5th is out.  Might try for a different season, though, or a whole year in advance(?).  We'll see.  Communicating with someone halfway across the planet takes a little extra time.  My fiancee's sister has always been the priority (along with parents, of course), I was just trying to figure out if there was a work around that might work for everyone.

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• hoffse member

  

  December 2013

  Unfortunately, not everybody will be able to be there.  But that's life.

  
  

  In general, I would avoid holiday weddings, especially those during the summer.  For most folks vacation time is really valuable, and it's so easy to take a few days off for a family trip over the summer holiday weekends. 

  
  

  I've been invited to weddings the last two memorial day weekends.  The first one we attended.  The second one we did not (because we disliked how the previous wedding basically killed our holiday).

  

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• SP29 member

  

  December 2013

  I would avoid the long weekend wedding, if possible. Even if it is the 5th, people will still have been travelling for the 4th and likely out of town. Other good points made about the busy-ness of the area with people traveling, hotels and flights will be more expensive/ less availability, etc. As well, if FSIL is flying in on the 4th from half way around the world, what if there is a flight delay? Not to mention the jet lag. It would be less stressful if you had more time before she arrived. 

  
  

  FI and I are getting married January 4th 2014. Even with this date we have been finding troubles for our out of town guests with flights, as the 4th is still part of holiday season so flights are expensive and many are full so less options available. As well, lots of out of town guests are unable to take more time off from work since the holidays would have just passed. 

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  December 2013

  I think you're on the right path with rescheduling to accommodate your Fi's sister.  And wow, 1.5 years for a choir trip is really far in advance!

  
  

  FBIL is getting married this July 5, 2014.  They are extremely budget conscious and I get the feeling they are wanting a lot of declines.  I think they will get their wish.  Fi and I are obviously going because it's his brother, but that's just a tough weekend for a lot of people.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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