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Wedding Party

Being a helpful Maid of Honor

Hi there everyone! My name is Ashley, and I just joined the boards. One of my best friends just made me Maid of Honor for her wedding (she is the first one of us to be tying the knot. I'm so excited!) and I am wondering how I can be most helpful. She lives in MD and I live in NC. Brides: what have you found to be the most helpful things your MOH can help with?

Re: Being a helpful Maid of Honor

  • You could have a montly chat about wedding updates - just letting the bride go over stuff she needs to do. Sometimes guys aren't into the planning as much and it would be nice to have someone that was willing to talk wedding with. I was a very lax bride and my H cared even less lol, but one of my best friends was getting married a few months after me and she was super into planning. She lived a few hours away and we would call and go over details and stuff because we were going through it together.
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  • I think just having a bit of enthusiasm when she calls or emails about wedding details is enough.

    I'm currently receiving a lot of this, and it feels so good to know that people are happy/excited for you/FI and  your upcoming wedding.

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    tabathafaye
  • Obviously this is not "required" of you as a MOH, but one thing I wish my MOH would do would be liaison between me and my other two bridesmaids and keep them organized as the female "unit" of the wedding party.

    For instance, I have a shower coming up (not being thrown by my BMs) and my two BMs asked me if they should include my MOH when they do a group gift, putting me in the horrible position of either 1) turning down a gift I know they are excited to give or 2) looking "gift grabby" when I suggest they reach out to her. Honestly, I should not have to be in the middle of that conversation. 

  • vk2204 said:
    You could have a montly chat about wedding updates - just letting the bride go over stuff she needs to do. Sometimes guys aren't into the planning as much and it would be nice to have someone that was willing to talk wedding with. I was a very lax bride and my H cared even less lol, but one of my best friends was getting married a few months after me and she was super into planning. She lived a few hours away and we would call and go over details and stuff because we were going through it together.
    I did this with my mom but it was a monthly email. Occasionally I would miss a month when not a lot happen and she would call me asking where her monthly update was!
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    Anniversary
    vk2204
  • Thank you guys for all the help! I've been struggling because I want to help in every way I can but I also don't want to be overbearing so it is good to get some ideas of what's appropriate to help with :)
  • I think just being supportive and offer help if she needs it.  I do not have a MOH for my wedding, only bridesmaids, but one of them has taken on more of a roll then the others and i definitely appreciate it.   I haven't asked anything of them, and they are picking out their own dresses but it's nice that she has shown enthusiasm and initiative.  My fiance is not at all into wedding planning so it's nice to have someone i can share ideas with. Another thing she did that i thougth was really nice was I can tell she looks at my pinterest board at things i like, and based on that is always sending me stuff she finds that she thinks i'd like.   Just be there for your friend because i know for me, it can get pretty stressful to plan a wedding!
  • I have been both a bridesmaid as well as a made of honor for a few different weddings, so your role really depends on the bride's needs and your relationship with her. My most recent MOH role has been for one of my best friends who is actually from Germany and has just married an American. She had a lot of questions about American traditions, which obviously is not the case for every bride, but what my biggest influence was with her, is just helping with the research of traditions, listening to the struggles of planning, and really just being supportive of her desires for her day. This sometimes means being a liaison between her and the groom too (haha) if they have different family traditions that perhaps collide.. just being that neutral soundboard!! :)

    good luck!
  • Thank you so much for all of your advice ladies! It is very helpful :) She is finishing up her last semester of school right now, so once winter break rolls around the planning will really get underway! I am so excited!
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Def be supportive and offer any help as someone posted earlier. My current MOH periodically asks me about the planning and what stage I am in [we are at the very early stages right now, so basically just looking at venues]. But so far, she has come with me to a bridal expo, and has suggested going to brunch to chat about the wedding [amongst other things]. She wanted to come check out the spot where we are having the engagement party. Little things like that. I know you mentioned she is long distance, so maybe offer to view pictures of her dress ideas, venue ideas, etc, set up some monthly email chains with the rest of the bridal party. My MOH also friended 2 of my bridesmaids on FB, and once planning really gets underway she wants to set up chats with them.
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