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NWR: Announcing pregnancy

minkominko member
Knottie Warrior First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hi!

Haven't been here for a while since my wedding, but got a sort of etiquette question....
I'm into the 2nd trimester of my pregnancy. I didn't tell any of my friends during the 1st trimester. I've just begun to tell my friends and relatives. Last night, one of girls that was my BM announced her wedding date. She was so excited that she kept texting me after midnight... I wanted to tell her about the baby last night as well, but she was so excited about her wedding that I didn't want to kill it. She's having a Korean style wedding where everyone you know is virtually invited whether with or without an invitation sent. So with my pregnancy news, I'd also have to tell her I can't go to her wedding because her wedding date is only a week after my due date.  Should I wait couple weeks (until her excitement dies down) before I tell her about the baby? I'm sure she will understand that I can't go, but I also don't want to kill her excitement at this point. What do you all think? Am I just over-thinking this? I don't have any other friend that also knows her, so she will have no way of knowing unless I tell her.

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Re: NWR: Announcing pregnancy

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I would wait a couple of weeks and then tell her. I would just tell her your due date and leave it at that. I wouldn't say "just so you know this means I can't attend your wedding." You don't know that at this point. Stick to what you DO know. You're pregnant and your expected due date is _____. Yay for both of you!
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Congratulations on your new baby-to-be :)  I would maybe give it a few days if you're worried that she will feel you've stolen her thunder.  But I would probably not relate it to the wedding just yet.  It's up to you of course, but you don't know for sure that you won't be up to going.  If she asks whether you still still attend, you can address it however you want.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Congrats! 

    I agree. Let her "OMG I'm engaged!" excitement dissipate a bit and then let her know. What about just giving her the month your due if she asks? I wouldn't make it about the wedding yet.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2013
    I agree with SouthernBelle. Let her know you are pregnant but do not make any commitments (either yay or nay) as to whether you can attend the wedding at this point. I see that you said with the Korean tradition, "everyone" is invited, but I still wouldn't make an assumption that you are invited by saying, "I'm pregnant so I can't come to your wedding" without an invite. And even if you are invited, I wouldn't commit to a response until the RSVP date. 

    It's true you never know what could change. You could have the baby early or late. Sounds like your friend just got engaged, so it's possible their wedding date could change too (unless they've put a deposit on a venue). 
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Congrats on the baby!!! I bet you're super excited!
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  • minkominko member
    Knottie Warrior First Comment
    edited December 2013
    Wow. All the responses were super quick! :)
    Sounds like a plan - I have no idea why thought I HAVE to tell her about me potentially not going to her wedding. Thanks ladies!
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2013
    How rude of me- Congratulations on your new pregnancy!
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  • minkominko member
    Knottie Warrior First Comment
    Thank you! No worries! :)
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    I agree with PPs-tell the bride in a couple of weeks that you are pregnant and the approximate due date, but say nothing else.  You might be able to go, you might not.  Stay uncommitted for now.
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