Chit Chat

Christmas gifts

I am at a loss with what to get my husband and MIL for Christmas!!

In my family, everyone is really good about making a list, and most of the time, between the 5 of us, everything is gotten for the recipient.  DH's family is different.  It's just him and his mom in our state. . . . they never say what they want.  DH is impossible to shop for, when he wants or needs something he just buys it.  We decided that we are only going to do small gifts this year, nothing crazy, as we are saving for a house.  I got him one small item, tea that he likes.  I need something(s) else for him!  I know that he got me at least one thing, although I can't think of what it might be.

His mom is a different story.  Last year he got her a number of items, then she realized that the gift he got for me cost more than her gifts and all hell broke loose.  He ended up going out the day after Christmas, when I was exchanging my gift (a pricey dress that I would never wear, exchanged for more practical dress, blazer and shoes. . . . I know I am no fun!) and getting her the winter coat she demanded.  When he brought it to her, she refused it.  I am trying to convince him that we need to just get her a gift well before Christmas, wrap it, give it to her, and that's it!  I already picked up a nice bottle of wine for her.  Thoughts on what else to get a MIL?  She doesn't need anything that I can think of.  She also doesn't like going out really, she is more of a homebody.

Last gift rant. . . . I promise.  Last year I was on here discussing the difficulty I have choosing gifts for DH's god-daughter.  She has everything, the parents refuse to give suggestions, and no matter what you get for her, they never acknowledge it or thank you for it.  It has made shopping for her my most dreaded holiday tasc because it is so frustrating.  You'll be happy to know that I got her a Disney Princess teaset, after a long, long search.  I'm sure they'll hate it ;)

Re: Christmas gifts

  • I make sure to listen to my fiance throughout the year when he randomly says he wants something. He had een complaining about the commercials on Pandora radio that he listens to all the time so for his birthday I bought a 1 year subscription for only $36 (no more commercials!) Then I threw in a bluetooth speaker ($50) so he could listen to it loudly while doing housework and things.

    He likes golf so previous years I've gotten him a certificate to a round of golf with his best friend. He likes to snowboard so one year I got him Under Armor to keep him warm. He was complaining about putting the snowboard in his trunk and getting everything wet so one year I bought the roof racks for it. These are all things he says earlier in the year so he's never expecting them which makes it awesome. This year we just bought a house and only have 1 car garage so I get to park in there and not brush the snow off my car. As a thank you for that, I'm getting him a remote car starter to make his defrosting easier.

    As for the mother in law- we are NOT close with his mom but do see her on holidays. One time I gave her a restaurant gift card along with a framed picture of me & fiance. She loves to host and go to cookouts and she loves the Red Sox so last year I got her an insulated cooler bag with Sox logo on it. Actually got the same one for my own mom lol. I haven't figured out this year yet but I'm thinking a throw blanket and gift card- everyone loves cozy blankets.

  • If there's nothing your husband needs/ wants is there anything he would like to do that's in your price range? Tickets to a local sporting event or movie he's been dying to see? 

    As far as your MIL I would let your husband chose something and avoid opening your gifts from him in front of her, but that may not stop her. Last year FMIL commented on the necklace FI bought me as soon as she walked in and was disgusted he would spend that much on me (sterling silver with a pearl charm during the Macy's one day sale so really not that expensive)...I ended up saying that was the only gift from him and his son and then rushed off to hide my pile of other gifts.
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  • Seriously? I would be making my H shut that shit down.  There is no way that I would accept that behavior. period. 
  • I ditto PPs. Don't open gifts in front of her and don't tell her what he bought you. It's none of her business.

    DH's grandmother asked last year what we got each other (we were newly engaged) and we just said, "Oh, books and some other things." (True, but not complete).

    She still hasn't actually really seen my engagement ring, because she wants me to take it off for her to try on/hold and I'm solidly in the 'Oh, hell to the no' camp on that. She's seen it from a distance because, quickly frankly, it's none of her damn business.

    And, yeah, if your MIL thinks your DH should spend the same amount of money on HER as he does ON HIS WIFE, she's BSC.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Your MIL sounds a little loopy, so ditto PPs on saying that you should not be too specific if she asks what he got you and that sort of thing.  Also, I try to listen to my FI about what he would like, just little things he says and then the first chance I get I write it down.  
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  • When DH asked what she would like this year she said she didn't want to exchange gifts!!  We just might have to take her up on that!
  • When DH asked what she would like this year she said she didn't want to exchange gifts!!  We just might have to take her up on that!

    *Stuck in box:
    I feel like you're not really acknowledging the real problem- her behavior and your FI's lack of shutting that shit down. This is NOT about the gifts. He needs to make it clear she is not longer the priority and you are now a family. If he fails to do this, you're setting yourself up for a life of manipulation. 
  • When DH asked what she would like this year she said she didn't want to exchange gifts!!  We just might have to take her up on that!

    *Stuck in box:
    I feel like you're not really acknowledging the real problem- her behavior and your FI's lack of shutting that shit down. This is NOT about the gifts. He needs to make it clear she is not longer the priority and you are now a family. If he fails to do this, you're setting yourself up for a life of manipulation. 
    agreed, and we are working on that.  He is an only child whose parents split up when he was quite young, so it is a work in progress
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