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Wedding Woes

Future FIL very sick.

I'm pretty devastated right now. My fiancé and I learned a few weeks ago that my FIL is very sick. He will have to undergo treatment over the next year or so and his chances of surviving aren't very good. I'm so sad. My fiancé is very close to him and I'm very close to his parents. They live in a rural area very far from us so we're having a hard time figuring out how we'll help during his treatments. I may go spend a month or so at the end of the semester to help his mom. My fiancé will also try to get compassionate leave for a month or so (he's in the military). Beyond that, I don't know how we can help and spend as much as as we can with them. I'm sorry for writing this, it really has nothing to do with weddings, but I'm pretty devastated right now. 

As for wedding things after the initial shock of everything, I realized that this may really affect our wedding plans. We're supposed to get married in one year in our city. I don't know if he,ll be well enough to travel, I don't know if his condition will take a turn for the worst between now and then, in which case it would be completely inappropriate to have a wedding (we wouldn't be in the frame of mind at all to celebrate). What do we do? Do we stop planning the wedding and just wait? That seems like the right thing to do. 

Re: Future FIL very sick.

  • If that's what feels right, then that's what you should do.
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  • For now, go with your gut. Once the dust settles, you can see how he is feeling, how treatment is progressing and get a better idea of his long term prognosis. He may also tell you to go forward with planning at some point. For now, focus on them and do what you are most comfortable with.
  • I agree with "go with your gut."  If it is terminal though, he may really want to see you get married.  You can always do a small meaningful ceremony and a post-reception later, or something, but if they're as close as you say, he may very much want you to proceed so he can witness all the excitement.
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