Just Engaged and Proposals

JUST engaged!! When, where and who for Engagement party?!

Hi all!! I just got engaged Friday night, and I know it is early to be thinking about this BUT everyone I talk to in person has a biased opinion so I decided to come here to you all! We aren't getting married until Fall of 2015 and were thinking we wanted to wait until it gets warmer to have an outdoor engagement party (sometime in May probably).. is that too far away from the actual engagement? And who the heck do I invite?! Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!! xoxo

Re: JUST engaged!! When, where and who for Engagement party?!

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Has someone offered to throw you an engagement party? It's poor manners to plan your own.

    That being said, you should only invite people who you know will be invited to the wedding - close family, perhaps a few very close friends, IMO.
    doeydo
  • I wouldn't wait too long to have the engagement party. Spring at the latest. 

    But as PP pointed out, you should be waiting for someone to offer to throw it for you. Engagement parties aren't necessary so someone might not offer, in which case you just wouldn't have one.

    Keep in mind anyone invited to pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding. Since you have a long engagement, I would suggest keeping it at close friends and family you know you'll want at your wedding two years from now.
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    doeydo
  • Yes! My mom actually has offered and said it would be beautiful if we could do it in her back yard on the water near Memorial Day weekend.
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    It will have been a while since your engagement, but depending on your area, that might not be a bad thing for warmer weather. Congratulations on your engagment and happy planning!
  • I think Memorial Day weekend would be great! I wouldn't go any later or you'll be getting too far into the engagement. Talk to your mom about how many she can accommodate for a guest list and you can go from there.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I would side-eye an engagement party that was more than a couple months after you got engaged. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Technically, etiquette states within 3 months after you get engaged. So pretty much any time between now and the end of February. 

    Congratulations by the way!!
    *********************************************************************************

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    MadHops21
  • WeeshWeesh NY member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I got engaged on St. Patrick's Day and my parents threw an engagement party on Memorial Day weekend.  I can understand wanting to wait until after the holidays, I don't think I'd side eye waiting until the weather is warmer for a BBQ.  Ours was very informal and laid back.  Just make sure that whoever is invited to the engagement party is invited to the wedding.  I'd talk to your mom about how many she feels comfortable hosting, and go from there.  Family, close friends, and maybe even your wedding party if you've decided.  Good luck!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I know I am going to get slapped for this, but who cares when you have it?  Enjoy the moment, make the parties, and let everyone share the joy where ever and whenever.  Don't worry about the should and the have to. If a spring party will make it more pleasant for everybody involved, then I call you a thoughtful and considerate bride.
    And CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Now go flash that glowing smile.
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I know I am going to get slapped for this, but who cares when you have it?  Enjoy the moment, make the parties, and let everyone share the joy where ever and whenever.  Don't worry about the should and the have to. If a spring party will make it more pleasant for everybody involved, then I call you a thoughtful and considerate bride.
    And CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Now go flash that glowing smile.

    Again with the terrible advice @lauderdalepink. The "should" and the "have to" are guidelines so the bride does'nt embarrass herself and to ensure guests are hosted properly.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    southernbelle0915
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I personally would not care when someone throws their engagement party. I just love a good party lol. Especially if it is a longer engagement. My fiance and I got engaged this past September, and we are going to have ours in May. His mom is hosting, and we live in NYC, so we would like a party that is during the warmer months. Our wedding will be May 2015 so I like the idea of having it a year ahead. Our families are also not traditional, and tend to have city hall ceremony's, so they really would not get hung up on when we have our party relative to the engagement date. I think sometimes people get too hung up on what "etiquette" states and whatnot. Maybe it is a cultural and regional thing? We are Latino and from NYC so I know that our family and friends will not be hung up on the date so much as the actual party with good food, music and drinks LOL. Congrats on your engagement and happy planning!
                                 Anniversary
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  • The timing of engagement parties is one of those etiquette rules I don't really understand.  Can someone explain why is the cut-off three months?

    It just seems somewhat arbitrary to me.  In my head, as long as the engagement party is closer to the engagement than the wedding it seems fine.  I wouldn't suggest anyone break etiquette, but this is just one of those "meh" rules to me, especially if there seems like there's a "good reason" for holding it outside the 3 month mark (i.e. family lives all over but will be in town for some reason in 5 months, the person throwing the party wants it to be an event that would work better with certain weather, etc.)
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    KeptInStitches
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