Hi All,
My fiance proposed 6 months ago. Prior to getting engaged, he had made it clear that he wanted to invite our friends as well as family to our wedding, making it fairly large. I was adamant that I wanted a family-only wedding. I eventually agreed that having friends at our wedding was the better idea and that is what we have been planning on for the past 6 months, making our wedding 150 people. I understand that to a lot of people this isn't huge, but for me it seems a little overwhelming. My grandmother passed away this week which was a huge surprise and a big blow since my grandfather passed away less than a year ago. After she passed, I started becoming very anxious when at her Shiva, I would get questions about the wedding and who we are inviting. I'm not sure why this set me off but since then I have had the strong urge to cancel the wedding and simply elope.
My parents have already put down deposits on the lighting, photographer, and the band. I know that my fiance would be mad and that our friends would be annoyed but I can't shake this urge to get our of this big wedding that we had planned. I keep waiting to get excited about this big party with all of our family and friends "celebrating our love" but I cannot get rid of the feeling that it has become a social event that is not really about our love at all. Am I overreacting? Does it even matter how you get married, as long as you love each other? Maybe I just need a reality check that I need to just go with the flow. Thanks for your thoughts.