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Invitation etiquette

laurasimmons86laurasimmons86 member
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in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I am always looking for ways to save $$$. Is doing online RSVP a faux pas? 
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Re: Invitation etiquette

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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    My son and his wife had an online RSVP system.  It worked well for them.

    I think the answer depends a lot on your guest list.  If you know you have relatives that do not use the internet much, you may want to consider another avenue for them.  There are some inherent dangers in using an online system.  The guest does not have that physical card to keep around to remind them to RSVP.  The program you choose may not be reliable, or your guests may have difficulty navigating the site.

    My son and his wife had about the same results as if they had used tangible RSVP's.  They still needed to follow up on a handful of guests that did not respond.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    It's not a breach of etiquette per se, but it does imply a more casual event.  

    Be prepared for technical glitches.  IMHO, RSVP to an email address is much easier than worrying that a website (particularly this one) will crash and lose your info.  You should also offer an alternative for those guests that are not tech savvy or who aren't comfortable RSVPing online.  Again, with the casual wedding, phone is ok.  

    If you're planning a formal event, stick with mailed RSVPs.  
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    I just think weddings require something a little more formal than an online correspondence. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
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    edited December 2013
    Ditto Addie.  It's one of the most important events you'll ever send out invitations for.  Save the online RSVPs for backyard bbqs or birthday parties and make this one a bit more formal with the paper RSVPs.  
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    Agreed with the above. Have you thought about doing postcard RSVP's? Those can be very cheap. Honestly, unless you have 500 guests, not doing real RSVP's wont save you that much money in the long run. I don't think this is the area to cut back on. I think even email and/or phone call RSVP's are better than online. 
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    LauraD2015LauraD2015 member
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    Thanks for all of the advice. I had changed my username so this is my new one. I was thinking about it being weird and just wondering if brides have done it and how it went. 
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    jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    I'm doing it. I have a very green family and they would rather RSVP via email than through the mail. I created an email specifically for the RSVPs and we are also putting a phone number on the invite for anyone who wants to call.
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    CrystaH11CrystaH11 member
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    edited December 2013
    I'm doing it. My budget is very tight and saving the extra from postage and having the RSVPs made really will make a difference for us.

    About 50 cents a stamp for 200 people saves $100, plus not having 200 RSVPs made saves anywhere from $200-300. That makes a big difference on a very tight small budget. I'd rather spend that $300-400 on better food or a better bar than RSVP cards.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Including an RSVP card is optional.  Including a phone number or website is fine.  Forty years ago it was even considered to be rude to include a pre-printed RSVP card, but times have changed.
    Be prepared to make a lot of phone calls to people who fail to make the effort to respond to your invitations.  This is a fact of life. 
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    CMGragain said:
    Including an RSVP card is optional.  Including a phone number or website is fine.  Forty years ago it was even considered to be rude to include a pre-printed RSVP card, but times have changed.
    Be prepared to make a lot of phone calls to people who fail to make the effort to respond to your invitations.  This is a fact of life. 
    Hmmmm...do I dare hope that someone from the great beyond has returned to save the Invitation board?  It's been quite the shi* show.  Welcome back.  
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    CMGragain said:
    I couldn't stand it any more.  There was just too much bad information being given out on invitation wording!  Thanks!
    If only the "bad" was limited to the invitation board.  The influx of new, uninformed, ill-mannered, self-absorbed, allaboutme/whocaresaboutanyoneelse/ posters is downright flabbergasting!
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    banana468banana468 member
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    I was hoping I saw a blast from the past!
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited December 2013
    Oh, I've been lurking (and cringing!).  My 89 year old mother died in October, and I spent a month in Des Moines, IA, attending her bedside 24/7, arranging the funeral, cleaning out her senior apartment, and handling the estate.  You know my situation, and I am not really in mourning.  My daughter and son flew to be with me at the funeral, and daughter brought my beautiful grandson, Simon!  Everybody played with him.  My DH had not seen him in person before this.  We were able to take a four generation photo of my FIL, DH, son, daughter and grandson together.  What a treasure!  It was a great funeral.
    Mother declined to attend daughter's wedding, but she had bought a suit to wear anyway.  I had her buried in it.  She looked beautiful.  I also telephoned her surviving ex-husband (who is not currently married) and told him that he can be a practicing Catholic again.  (He's 90.  I haven't seen him in 25 years.  He wasn't invited to the funeral, either!)
    The only really difficult part was listening to my mother's lady friends tell me what a wonderful, loving person my mother was.  I kept smiling and thanked them for their kind thoughts.  I wrote a flattering obituary, and I gave the eulogy. I never shed a tear.
    OMG, I am now the family matriarch!!!

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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