FMIL and I had a sit down discussion about many things yesterday, and one of the things she brought up was that she thinks I call him "too much." AKA, when he's with her. I disagree, as I think the most I have ever called him while he's with her is 2 times. However, that's not the point. The point is, we're engaged, I've been with him for 11 years, and I will call him as much as I please. If HE has a problem with it, then HE can talk to me about it.
FI thinks she's ridiculous and told her so.
Just a vent, really.
We are 24 and 25 years old, not 16.
Re: NWR: FMIL thinks I call FI "too much"
I hope his next talk with her goes well. At least your mom and your FI back you up against her over-involved crazy. Sounds like a jealousy issue...
Moving out might make this worse. I could easily see her bugging you guys even more about coming over and visiting. Not going out to lunch, not calling and talking, etc. If she made a big deal about you guys moving in together while at college, I believe she'll make a big deal still if you guys move out. That whole moving in together thing makes it sound like she wasn't okay because you weren't married?
It also sounds like she doesn't approve of your relationship? Was she happy when you announced the engagement?
OP said this: So, we moved in together, she was very angry and told my mom she was worried that I wouldn't give my FI enough freedom to see his friends, that he should be living with his friends and not me. This makes me think that she was hoping he would maybe take a break from you? How do I phrase this....basically that he would "live a little" before he made the decision to settle down with you. Don't get me wrong, I find it AWESOME you guys are high school sweethearts and have been together that long, but some think that people need to experience life (other people) before they decide that what they've always known is what they want for the rest of their lives.
God I hope that made sense >.> If not I apologize...wait a bit. I just need to wake up hahaha
Side note: She wanted to her, FI's dad, and FI's brother to wear shirts that said "Us too!" when FI proposed so it would be like he was asking me to marry him AND them. My FI shut down that idea reaaaallly quickly and said "you're insane."
It's easier to avoid but FMIL could get more annoying? Or she could just show up unannounced too if she is really desperate to see her son. I am not trying to make it sound like your FMIL is crazy or deserves this but she really needs to learn personal space. OP POSTED: Side note: She wanted to her, FI's dad, and FI's brother to wear shirts that said "Us too!" when FI proposed so it would be like he was asking me to marry him AND them. My FI shut down that idea reaaaallly quickly and said "you're insane." Plus all the other examples you posted earlier is just way too, clingy? I understand her baby boy is always going to be her baby but she really needs to you guys have your own life, together, as a COUPLE. It just really sounds like she is having a hard time letting him go.
@OP That is awesome to hear that she approves and that she can see how happy FI is with you. That is a good thing but is there anyone else acting like her or is it just FMIL? I'm not a mother so I don't know this feeling of "losing a child" when they are all grown up and going to get married but she seriously needs to learn to let go.
My FBIL currently does this and it drives me MENTAL. He has an 'emergency key', but chooses to use it whenever he comes over, instead of actually knocking and acknowledging that it's not his house and that maybe I might not be decent at the very second he walks in. He'll also occasionally arrive at our house BEFORE we even get home from work, and just camp out! I'm making FI have another talk with him tomorrow. Don't let your FMIL turn into this.
The first time she came down after we were married, she said, "I'll be in town on X date and I'm staying at Y hotel. Can you come over for dinner?" DH said, "No, you're staying with us, in our spare bedroom. I'll make you a spare key so you can get in if we're still at work when you get there. But you're not staying at a hotel."