Website: yes or no?

akopitzke · December 2013

Okay so my mother thought the idea of a wedding website sounded tacky and since I honestly didn't really think it was necessary, we skipped it. Well now I'm trying to figure out how we're going to get out information regarding venue parking (the venue has limited parking so we have to direct guests to a nearby lot where they will be shuttled to the venue - yes it sucks but the venue is gorgeous so we're making it work) and registry info and whatever else little tidbits that I need to relay to over 200 people! We already sent STDs without website info and I'm really torn about including it in the invitation.. but I don't know what to do! HELP!

dluberts · December 2013

@ akopitzke I don't think it's a bad idea at all. You can do one through the knot for free. I use it to update my guests on things all the time. I will post a link to it on FB so that way all my guests have access to it, becasue they all use FB. I think it's worth it even if someone else thinks it's tacky. Irt's free, which is always awesome. I'll attach a link to mine so you can see how it's set up and how i've worked out the details in it.

http://www.theknot.com/wedding/jancola-and-luberts

pumpkinsandturkeys · December 2013

We're not doing a website. We don't have many people on our guest list, and a considerable amount of them are retirement age and older, and not overly tech-savvy. I don't want to rely on word-of-mouth for everything, so our invites also include an 'information' card (which was actually standard with the suite) which will provide hotel suggestions and any other odds and ends we need to get across to our guests. As a sidenote: most brides on here will tell you that including registry info is a major faux pas, but if that's the only reliable way to get the word out, who cares? (because let's face it -- word of mouth sucks. My dad just forgot to invite me and FI to my niece and nephew's christening next weekend because my brother assumed dad would remember to pass the verbal invite along!)

dluberts · December 2013

I agree there are a lot of nasty brides on here.Once you get onto the other boards they attack you for some of the smallest things! But, we have a great group of open minded and friendly brides on the May board.

chibiyui · December 2013

You can still set up a wedding website. If you do not want to, include an information card about parking. Do not include any registry info on or in the envelope with your invite, that is rude.

Your guests are not stupid. They can search online to find your registry, they can go into stores and search to find your registry, if they want to buy you something they will ask you or someone close to you where you are registered.

The only exception to that is registry information may be included on a separate card included in a shower invitation, because showers are gift giving events. Weddings, while gifts are common, are not.

Kristen625 · December 2013

I too made a wedding website through TK and it came out cute. Took some work to make it nice, but it is a good way to post information that would otherwise be 'rude' to give out. I plan on putting our registry information on a small card insert inside the invite because honestly, I don't know how else people will know. I have too many out of town guests and it just isn't practical to have the info passed via word of mouth. People want to know that information, and I think they are happier to have it in hand then be concerned if it is rude or not. I also will be adding on there that we are not allowing children at the wedding. I purchased blank business cards at office max, and just made them on the computer to add to the invite. So you could even put parking information on something like that. Just make an insert for the invite rather then making a wedding website. Its entirely up to you!

http://theknot.com/weddings/kristen-and-sven

chibiyui · December 2013

Kristen625 said:
I too made a wedding website through TK and it came out cute. Took some work to make it nice, but it is a good way to post information that would otherwise be 'rude' to give out. I plan on putting our registry information on a small card insert inside the invite because honestly, I don't know how else people will know. I have too many out of town guests and it just isn't practical to have the info passed via word of mouth. People want to know that information, and I think they are happier to have it in hand then be concerned if it is rude or not. I also will be adding on there that we are not allowing children at the wedding. I purchased blank business cards at office max, and just made them on the computer to add to the invite. So you could even put parking information on something like that. Just make an insert for the invite rather then making a wedding website. Its entirely up to you!

http://theknot.com/weddings/kristen-and-sven

Just don't put the kids names on the invite. People will figure it out, if they don't you fix it when they ask or RSVP. Putting it on the invite just makes you look bad.

pumpkinsandturkeys · December 2013

chibiyui said:

I too made a wedding website through TK and it came out cute. Took some work to make it nice, but it is a good way to post information that would otherwise be 'rude' to give out. I plan on putting our registry information on a small card insert inside the invite because honestly, I don't know how else people will know. I have too many out of town guests and it just isn't practical to have the info passed via word of mouth. People want to know that information, and I think they are happier to have it in hand then be concerned if it is rude or not. I also will be adding on there that we are not allowing children at the wedding. I purchased blank business cards at office max, and just made them on the computer to add to the invite. So you could even put parking information on something like that. Just make an insert for the invite rather then making a wedding website. Its entirely up to you!

http://theknot.com/weddings/kristen-and-sven
Just don't put the kids names on the invite. People will figure it out, if they don't you fix it when they ask or RSVP. Putting it on the invite just makes you look bad.

I respectfully disagree. I say put whatever the heck you want on/with the invitations! Anything can be said in a tasteful way, and why do we have to do everything according to what previous generations did, or follow some mysterious set of rules determined by The All-Knowing Wedding Committee. We're all individuals, and we come here for support, guidance, advice, and to share things with people we have things in common with. I'm all for hearing both sides, but I disagree with being told I have to do one thing or can't do another.

chibiyui · December 2013

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

chibiyui said:

I too made a wedding website through TK and it came out cute. Took some work to make it nice, but it is a good way to post information that would otherwise be 'rude' to give out. I plan on putting our registry information on a small card insert inside the invite because honestly, I don't know how else people will know. I have too many out of town guests and it just isn't practical to have the info passed via word of mouth. People want to know that information, and I think they are happier to have it in hand then be concerned if it is rude or not. I also will be adding on there that we are not allowing children at the wedding. I purchased blank business cards at office max, and just made them on the computer to add to the invite. So you could even put parking information on something like that. Just make an insert for the invite rather then making a wedding website. Its entirely up to you!

http://theknot.com/weddings/kristen-and-sven
Just don't put the kids names on the invite. People will figure it out, if they don't you fix it when they ask or RSVP. Putting it on the invite just makes you look bad.

I respectfully disagree. I say put whatever the heck you want on/with the invitations! Anything can be said in a tasteful way, and why do we have to do everything according to what previous generations did, or follow some mysterious set of rules determined by The All-Knowing Wedding Committee. We're all individuals, and we come here for support, guidance, advice, and to share things with people we have things in common with. I'm all for hearing both sides, but I disagree with being told I have to do one thing or can't do another.

There's a difference between not having bridesmaids in the same hideous dress because thats what our mothers did and telling people you think they're too dumb to read an invitation addressed to just Mr. and Mrs. somebody and realize their kids aren't invited. And the reason registry information shouldn't be included with a wedding invite is because weddings are not about gifts. Adding the registry on the invite makes it look like thats what you care about, the gifts.

So, yes, you can do whatever you want, but doing what you are planning could cause people to change their opinions of you based on how rude they think you are being. I get it, you think you're making everything nice and convenient for them, but they might still think it's rude.

akopitzke · December 2013

Wow this went completely the opposite of what I was thinking! But here's my take - I have received countless wedding invitations with registry information included. And then I received one this past summer that didn't have it. I was so completely confused by the whole thing because it was the first time I'd seen an invite without it. And I figured that she didn't register - because thats all I really knew from previous experience. So I don't think that everyone is going to view someone as rude for including registry information in an invitation. I wasn't planning to include mine but I do know that between my family, my FI's family, and all our friends, word of mouth definitely won't cut it. Everyone is very spread out, more than half our guests are from out of town. So I probably will end up making a wedding website. Plus the parking information can get complicated depending on what route we decide to go and thats just a lot to include in the invitation. We'll most likely email the website out to most of the guests before hand and then include a small insert with the address in the invitation.

Also, I had a friend get married a year and a half ago and she flat out told people not to bring their kids. She didn't put it on the invite but she sent an email out to all the people who had children and said that there wouldn't be seating or food available for the children and to please leave them at home. She actually told me point blank "I want you to come but you can't bring your son" and it worked for her. I will admit though that there are better ways to word that. I hosted a shower for a cousin recently and wrote on the invites "Respectful request no children in attendance". There were still upset people but I don't think there really is any way to completely avoid some people being upset.

conneenmurray · December 2013

I've never heard of anyone putting registry information in a wedding invitation. I thought thats what shower invitations were for. Unless theres something I'm missing?

dluberts · December 2013

I've always seen registry information on a seperate card with the invitation. No one that I know feels it's rude. But all of our friends and family are down to earth people who don't care about trivial matters like that. We all understand that yes it's a wedding, no gifts are not expected, but it's nice to know where to go if we want to buy the b&g a gift. I'll take it even further to say that putting your registry info in with the invite is rude becasue it's saying you want gifts then you shouldn't register for gifts in the first place, becasue isn't that saying the same thing.

dluberts · December 2013

I've always seen registry information on a seperate card with the invitation. No one that I know feels it's rude. But all of our friends and family are down to earth people who don't care about trivial matters like that. We all understand that yes it's a wedding, no gifts are not expected, but it's nice to know where to go if we want to buy the b&g a gift. I'll take it even further to say that if putting your registry info in with the invite is considered rude becasue it's saying all you want gifts then you shouldn't register for gifts in the first place, because isn't that saying the same thing?

pumpkinsandturkeys · December 2013

chibiyui said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

chibiyui said:

I too made a wedding website through TK and it came out cute. Took some work to make it nice, but it is a good way to post information that would otherwise be 'rude' to give out. I plan on putting our registry information on a small card insert inside the invite because honestly, I don't know how else people will know. I have too many out of town guests and it just isn't practical to have the info passed via word of mouth. People want to know that information, and I think they are happier to have it in hand then be concerned if it is rude or not. I also will be adding on there that we are not allowing children at the wedding. I purchased blank business cards at office max, and just made them on the computer to add to the invite. So you could even put parking information on something like that. Just make an insert for the invite rather then making a wedding website. Its entirely up to you!

http://theknot.com/weddings/kristen-and-sven
Just don't put the kids names on the invite. People will figure it out, if they don't you fix it when they ask or RSVP. Putting it on the invite just makes you look bad.

I respectfully disagree. I say put whatever the heck you want on/with the invitations! Anything can be said in a tasteful way, and why do we have to do everything according to what previous generations did, or follow some mysterious set of rules determined by The All-Knowing Wedding Committee. We're all individuals, and we come here for support, guidance, advice, and to share things with people we have things in common with. I'm all for hearing both sides, but I disagree with being told I have to do one thing or can't do another.

There's a difference between not having bridesmaids in the same hideous dress because thats what our mothers did and telling people you think they're too dumb to read an invitation addressed to just Mr. and Mrs. somebody and realize their kids aren't invited. And the reason registry information shouldn't be included with a wedding invite is because weddings are not about gifts. Adding the registry on the invite makes it look like thats what you care about, the gifts.

So, yes, you can do whatever you want, but doing what you are planning could cause people to change their opinions of you based on how rude they think you are being. I get it, you think you're making everything nice and convenient for them, but they might still think it's rude.

I would hope that my family, and the friends and families of the other brides here, know the couple well enough to understand that no one is calling them dumb by indicating whether or not the affair is adults-only. I've seen a lot of instances where people aren't familiar with traditional invitation etiquette, or they choose to feign ignorance. Someone is always going to be offended by something, and there will always be others who don't even bat an eye. That's kinda just how weddings go, and I personally would rather know that everyone is getting the same, proper information than take the chance of them not being well-informed and having a misunderstanding later. If someone thinks that's rude, so be it -- the judgmental ones aren't invited to our wedding anyways!

chibiyui · December 2013

dluberts said:
I've always seen registry information on a seperate card with the invitation. No one that I know feels it's rude. But all of our friends and family are down to earth people who don't care about trivial matters like that. We all understand that yes it's a wedding, no gifts are not expected, but it's nice to know where to go if we want to buy the b&g a gift. I'll take it even further to say that putting your registry info in with the invite is rude becasue it's saying you want gifts then you shouldn't register for gifts in the first place, becasue isn't that saying the same thing.

My family is down to earth as well.

They just also learned basic manners

It is not hard to find a registry, there is google, store searches, wedding websites where its totally cool to put such info on, and yes actually asking. If somebody wants to buy a gift from a registry they will figure it out without including that info on the wedding invite.

(Oh, and registries themselves are not rude because no one *has* to buy off a registry. Looking up said registry and buying from it is voluntary.)

chibiyui · December 2013

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

chibiyui said:

pumpkinsandturkeys said:

chibiyui said:

Kristen625 said:
I too made a wedding website through TK and it came out cute. Took some work to make it nice, but it is a good way to post information that would otherwise be 'rude' to give out. I plan on putting our registry information on a small card insert inside the invite because honestly, I don't know how else people will know. I have too many out of town guests and it just isn't practical to have the info passed via word of mouth. People want to know that information, and I think they are happier to have it in hand then be concerned if it is rude or not. I also will be adding on there that we are not allowing children at the wedding. I purchased blank business cards at office max, and just made them on the computer to add to the invite. So you could even put parking information on something like that. Just make an insert for the invite rather then making a wedding website. Its entirely up to you!

http://theknot.com/weddings/kristen-and-sven
Just don't put the kids names on the invite. People will figure it out, if they don't you fix it when they ask or RSVP. Putting it on the invite just makes you look bad.

I respectfully disagree. I say put whatever the heck you want on/with the invitations! Anything can be said in a tasteful way, and why do we have to do everything according to what previous generations did, or follow some mysterious set of rules determined by The All-Knowing Wedding Committee. We're all individuals, and we come here for support, guidance, advice, and to share things with people we have things in common with. I'm all for hearing both sides, but I disagree with being told I have to do one thing or can't do another.

There's a difference between not having bridesmaids in the same hideous dress because thats what our mothers did and telling people you think they're too dumb to read an invitation addressed to just Mr. and Mrs. somebody and realize their kids aren't invited. And the reason registry information shouldn't be included with a wedding invite is because weddings are not about gifts. Adding the registry on the invite makes it look like thats what you care about, the gifts.

So, yes, you can do whatever you want, but doing what you are planning could cause people to change their opinions of you based on how rude they think you are being. I get it, you think you're making everything nice and convenient for them, but they might still think it's rude.

I would hope that my family, and the friends and families of the other brides here, know the couple well enough to understand that no one is calling them dumb by indicating whether or not the affair is adults-only. I've seen a lot of instances where people aren't familiar with traditional invitation etiquette, or they choose to feign ignorance. Someone is always going to be offended by something, and there will always be others who don't even bat an eye. That's kinda just how weddings go, and I personally would rather know that everyone is getting the same, proper information than take the chance of them not being well-informed and having a misunderstanding later. If someone thinks that's rude, so be it -- the judgmental ones aren't invited to our wedding anyways!

Well, do what you gotta do. Hopefully you don't offend anyone.

(By the way, if I'm close to someone but not close enough to be blunt with them, I wouldn't tell them their invites were worded rudely, because I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Most people will do that)

pumpkinsandturkeys · December 2013

chibiyui said:

I've always seen registry information on a seperate card with the invitation. No one that I know feels it's rude. But all of our friends and family are down to earth people who don't care about trivial matters like that. We all understand that yes it's a wedding, no gifts are not expected, but it's nice to know where to go if we want to buy the b&g a gift. I'll take it even further to say that putting your registry info in with the invite is rude becasue it's saying you want gifts then you shouldn't register for gifts in the first place, becasue isn't that saying the same thing.
My family is down to earth as well. They just also learned basic manners It is not hard to find a registry, there is google, store searches, wedding websites where its totally cool to put such info on, and yes actually asking. If somebody wants to buy a gift from a registry they will figure it out without including that info on the wedding invite. (Oh, and registries themselves are not rude because no one *has* to buy off a registry. Looking up said registry and buying from it is voluntary.)

Implying that @dluberts ' family didn't learn basic manners because she feels the need (or simply the desire) to relay registry information with her invites is more rude than including the registry info. No one is attacking anyone here (as I'm sure you've noticed, this is a very agreeable and polite board), and your passive-aggressive attitude towards this really isn't warranted. If any bride wants to include info that usually travels by word of mouth to make it easier for her guests if they choose to purchase a gift, she's generally doing it out of courtesy and not selfishness. It's not fair to assume that everyone thinks it's rude just because you believe that. And as for me 'offending' anyone: we're having 30 close family members, and that's it. Since we know all of them very well, I'm quite certain that they either won't think twice about registry info, or will appreciate it.

dluberts · December 2013

@pumpkinsandturkeys thank you for your input and sticking up for me. I have to say it's a relief that you are being very open minded and level headed. So many times on these boards people try to impose their opinions and views on you, and can get a little nasty about it. I firmly believe that there is no one right way to satisfy everyone. We as brides (and grooms) need to do what we know is right for our family and friends because it is our family and friends and we know what is and isn't acceptable for them and ourselves.

chibiyui · December 2013

Dluberts also implied I and my family were stuck up snobs. But I can admit that I was being petty in my response, and for that I apologize.

dluberts · December 2013

There was no implication on my end. Simply me talking about my family and how we are.

chibiyui · December 2013

dluberts said:

There was no implication on my end. Simply me talking about my family and how we are.

Kristen625 · December 2013

@pumpkinsandturkeys thanks for sticking up for me

@chibiyui I have gone around and around about whether or not to put on our invite "no children" (not that phrasing of course, but something much more respectful). I personally didn't see the harm in it, but then again, I have no children. I had heard about the correct envelope addressing, and I had already planned to word my response cards with telling them how many seats we had reserved in their honor. I figured, "okay those two things should get the point across." THEN I went to a party where it was all women, of all different ages and I was the only one who wasn't married there nor did I have children. I was talking to the women about the invites because they were asking about wedding plans and stuff. I told them my plan about addressing the envelopes as well as my response cards, every sing one of them said "put on there no kids." They said they have been invited to weddings before where the envelope was addressed to just them and their spouse yet their kids were invited. I asked about it being rude, every single one of them said no and that they would rather be well informed. So then and there I made the executive decision to put it on an insert in the invite. I'm still working on my phrasing for that to make it sound as nice as can be.

Also on the card is our website and where we are registered. I have a few elderly people who won't be tech savvy enough to go onto our website but would like to know that information. I'm not putting it on there as a way to show I'm expecting a gift, I'm putting it on there so people don't have to ask and be confused or get the wrong information. I know my family and friends, and I can safely say they will be pleased to have the information at hand and not have to start a phone tree.

chibiyui · December 2013

@Kristen625

Best of luck to you. I still disagree with you, but I wish you the best.

Tnt082013 · December 2013

akopitzke- we are doing a wedding website as all of our family is out of town and it was easier to relay information that way. I made our website using a free website www.wix.com and had a lot of fun with it!! More than I thought I would. I also know some of our older family might not navigate the internet very well which is why we will also be including insert cards very similar to @Kristen625.

I think that personally whatever works for you and your wedding is what you should go with. There is no need to offend someone for telling people that it is rude to be putting insert cards in your invitation. Every wedding invitation I have received had registry information insert in it.

Going by word of mouth does not always work. Also, with older family members they may not know to go on www.google.com to search for a registry or to go to random stores to search for a registry. Especially depending on where some people choose to register.

ohxhi · December 2013

When I was reading this, I got so caught up in the side conversation that I forgot about OP's question. I think we can all agree that the May 2014 brides are open to hearing what everyone is doing without passing any judgment, calling names or being passive aggressive. I'm really happy with the way things have been so far (it's what keeps me coming back to our board and staying away from some of the others) and I hope that we keep it that way going forward. @pumpkinsandturkeys - you're a diplomat

@dluberts - date twin! Thanks for sharing your website! Your venue is GORGEOUS. I love how unique it is. Very excited to see your pictures!

@akopitzke - To answer your question and share a little bit, I spent a decent amount of time on my wedding website. I used a site called wix.com, which I learned about through an old friend, who posted her site on facebook. It was gorgeous (and free), so I decided I'd give it a try (jillandscott.wix.com/51714). That said, I know for a fact that almost no one has looked at it. FI has the majority of the guests and once our save the dates went out, he was texting me questions about the registry, the address for the venue (all stuff that's on the website). I reminded him that's why the link was included on the save the date, but I think not everyone is necessarily tech savvy enough to look it up. Not a big deal, but something worth considering.

I'm glad I did it, because like you said, it's a good place to have all of that information. But now that I've done it, I've pretty much forgotten it exists. So many more things to worry about.

dluberts · December 2013

@ ohxhi -thanks for the compliment! I am very excited to have both the wedding and reception at this museum. It's so different than anything else I've ever been to. It's adventurous. When you hear museum people might think,,eww,, old stuff, but I can't think of an awesomer( i know thats not a real word lol) background than a real dinosaur

Megsters03 · December 2013

Yes to the website! To be honest, when I received my friend's invite that had her website listed on there, I never even looked it up! She asked me about it a few months after her wedding and I felt bad that I totally overlooked it and never went to see her website. But I think it's a great idea! It will get all of your info out there for your guests in case they have any questions so your phone isn't blowing up daily with questions about directions/hotels/locations. I made one on here and will be including that info with our invites on the Guest Information cards

ArtTeacher23 · December 2013

I got a lil techy and put a QR code on our save the date magnets that went to our website (done here on The Knot: http://josifandkaryn.ourwedding.com/ )...don't know how many people actually used it, but it's there and this way we don't really need to include it on/with the invites as it's already there on people's fridges! FIY: Here's the site to make your own QR code, completely free! http://createqrcode.appspot.com/ As an art teacher, I use this all time when I display student work in the hall, I include a code to a YouTube video that demonstrates the concept/skill/art movement/culture, etc. that we looked at.

ArtTeacher23 · December 2013

I got a lil techy and put a QR code on our save the date magnets that went to our website (done here on The Knot: http://josifandkaryn.ourwedding.com/ )...don't know how many people actually used it, but it's there and this way we don't really need to include it on/with the invites as it's already there on people's fridges! FIY: Here's the site to make your own QR code, completely free! http://createqrcode.appspot.com/ As an art teacher, I use this all time when I display student work in the hall, I include a code to a YouTube video that demonstrates the concept/skill/art movement/culture, etc. that we looked at.

Website: yes or no?

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