I quit smoking!

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

I'm really proud of myself its been 13 days since Ive quit and 12 for FI although he messed up and had a cig the other day. I knew it was going to be harder for him then it would be for myself. I'm starting to feel like Im running out of ways to keep him focused and not smoke. Ive showed him pictures threatened to not get married if he wanted to continue to smoke. And it doesnt make it any better that the guys he works with dont respect the fact that he's trying to quit. One guy actually thought it would be funny to blow smoke in his face on the 2nd day of him quitting. I thought it was important for us to stop because I want to have the longest life possible with him. And I didnt want something we could control doing to end it sooner.

Has anyone else quit? And what helped you stay strong and focused?

KytchynWitche · December 2013

I "quit" in April 2009, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I was very nearly hospitalised with bronchitis bordering on pneumonia.

I didn't really have trouble quitting, but knowing that I was making myself sick by NOT quitting was a major motivator. In the first year, I would still puff at parties because it was difficult to socialise without them (I have social anxiety). I haven't had a cigarette at all since I met my FI in October 2011, and I haven't really missed it at all.

I will admit to standing in "the naughty corner" at parties and when I still worked in an office - because I like the smell, it reminds me of home.

All I can say is congratulations for making that decision. Stay strong, but don't berate yourself if you slip up - that's almost more damaging than smoking in the first place!

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

Thanks!! I think I have my mind set on being done and Im not finding it all that hard at all. I do feel bad for getting so upset with my FI for his slip up but Im just hoping it doesnt happen again.... congrats on you quitting as well!

Swazzle · December 2013

Great job!!!

I quit 6 years ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever done... but the best thing I've ever done. I had tried to quit 4x before it actually stuck and the difference for me was that time I was doing it for myself. All the other times I was trying to quit because someone was forcing me to.

I would really try not to put too much pressure on your FI and I definitely wouldn't threaten him by saying you're going to call off the wedding.

I literally took it one day at a time. Each day I'd get up and tell myself "I'm not going to smoke today." I kept myself busy and tried not to look at the clock when it was around when I'd normally take my cigarette breaks.

Good luck!

ktjanesmom · December 2013

Ive never smoked so I never had to quit but I can imagine how hard it is. My mom quit cold turkey 30 years ago. Think of the money you will save aside from the biggest benifit, your lungs!!! I dont know you, but I am happy for you both.

tmclawchick · December 2013

That's great!! Quitting is hard! I used to smoke almost a pack a day (yuck...) back in college/early law school. I quit cold turkey and started running; needless to say my lungs were like "whoa. wtf dude?" It was hard and admittedly I've fallen off the wagon a few times...but the key is to keep going. You and your FI might slip up (FI quit with me but he slips up too sometimes). It happens, nobody's perfect. I suppose if I had advice, I'd say to make sure you're supporting each other in a positive way. I noticed you said "I thought it was important for us to stop because I want to have the longest life possible with him." Totally get where you're coming from, and it's very sweet... but is this something he's on board with as well? Or is this your idea and he's just kind of going along with it since you're threatening calling off the wedding? Either way, if your FI slips up I wouldn't use threats; that could just make him continue to smoke and try to hide it (which would suck).

Best of luck!!!

chibiyui · December 2013

Congrats! I'm not a smoker but many of my friends and family do smoke. I'm going to second @tmclawchick , if you slip up, which is okay because addictions are hard, keep going. I can't tell you how many times one of my friends quits, and then 2 weeks later breaks down has a cig and gives up. You mess up one day, thats okay because you have tomorrow to get it right.

Best of luck to you!

princessleia22 · December 2013

You sticking with it will probably be the best motivation for him to quit too. But, nothing you say or do will force him to quit. He needs to do it for his own reasons. My FI and I quit about 2 years ago. We had both talked about it for a few years, but just never got around to it. We had both also unsuccessfully tried quitting in the past. But, one day my FI just decided it was time to quit. He had smoked too much the day before and woke up feeling like crap... so decided that was it and he was done. I had already been cutting back and was down to about 1/2 pack a day by the time he quit. He used nicotine patches, gum, lozenges... all of it... for about a month. Since he was quitting, I decided it was a good time for me to quit also. So, over the next week I started seriously cutting back and messing with my typical smoking habits. I wouldn't let myself smoke at my normal times. I made myself wait 1/2 hour after waking up or eating to have a cigarette, since I was so attached to smoking at those times. If I had a craving, I forced myself to wait, and often the craving would subside altogether. I already didn't smoke in home or car, so that helped a lot too. That helped break some of those typical habits. And within a week I was down to 2 cigarettes a day, so then I just quit. I chewed a lot of gum, mints & hard candies for a while, but didn't use any nicotine supplements. But, since we were both doing it for ourselves and not forced into it, it wasn't so bad this time. It helped that he wasn't yelling at me or trying to force me to quit when he did. I knew that if he was going to succeed, that I needed to quit too, so I knew I had to do it for him as much as for myself. Two weeks later, we were around a group of smokers and both of us were more disgusted than tempted by it. And after a couple months, most of the cravings were gone. If you are doing it for the right reasons, it is much easier and gets easy really quickly. If you aren't quitting for your own reasons, it's much more difficult. About 10 years ago I had to quit for medical reasons. I quit for a year, but that whole time the cravings never stopped. As soon as the medical reasons were gone, I went right out and started smoking again. Even after a whole year of no smoking, it didn't work because I wasn't ready to quit for myself. Everyone quits in different ways. I also hear that many people find success with the prescription meds. But, you each need to find your own reasons and methods. But you can definitely lean on each other and support each other. Slipping up once isn't the end of the world. But, if he's only quitting because you are forcing him to, it probably won't work.

smalfrie19 · December 2013

My FI quit when he and I moved in together and he has only slipped up twice in the past almost two years....I am proud of him..I don't know how he does it when I can't even resist a tablespoon of pesto when I am craving it....

jdluvr06 · December 2013

Congrats! I'm trying to quit smoking myself and it is really hard.

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

tmclawchick said:
That's great!! Quitting is hard! I used to smoke almost a pack a day (yuck...) back in college/early law school. I quit cold turkey and started running; needless to say my lungs were like "whoa. wtf dude?" It was hard and admittedly I've fallen off the wagon a few times...but the key is to keep going. You and your FI might slip up (FI quit with me but he slips up too sometimes). It happens, nobody's perfect. I suppose if I had advice, I'd say to make sure you're supporting each other in a positive way. I noticed you said "I thought it was important for us to stop because I want to have the longest life possible with him." Totally get where you're coming from, and it's very sweet... but is this something he's on board with as well? Or is this your idea and he's just kind of going along with it since you're threatening calling off the wedding? Either way, if your FI slips up I wouldn't use threats; that could just make him continue to smoke and try to hide it (which would suck).

Best of luck!!!

He's said he wanted to quit many times before he would try but I still smoked so it wouldnt last long. I set my quit date for the first. He wasnt planning on quitting. I wouldnt say I forced him but once he said he would quit as well Ive been on top of him trying to make sure he doesnt slip up... I feel like I forced my quit date on him

and he wasnt ready but I know its for the best. Im just gonna stay positive and help him get thru this bcuz I know he can do it

cruffino · December 2013

Congrats! I quit after 10 yrs with a pack a day habit. I used the patch. Just stay strong, it gets better!

One thing I did to make it easier was give myself a free pass on eating during the first week. After that, it was just commitment. My roommate at the time smoked so I just had to learn to deal with it.

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

jdluvr06 said:
Congrats! I'm trying to quit smoking myself and it is really hard.

You can do it. Just stay positive. Just know you dont need a cig as bad as you think you do. Read up on things about smoking it scared the crap out of me and probably is majority of the reason Im not the least bit tempted.... good luck to you

LizM61409 · December 2013

Yay! Congratulations! Non-smoker here so I don't have much in the way of advice, but sending lots of encouragement your way!

princessleia22 · December 2013

The biggest advice I received was that if you have a craving, find something to keep yourself busy for a while and you should forget about the craving in a few minutes... usually within 10 minutes you forget about it. Or finding something to keep your hands busy during a craving can be a big help too. I know someone who would play with a paper clip when he had cravings... 20 years later he still carries one just as a reminder that he overcame his addiction. I often keep a ponytail holder around my wrist and often find myself playing with it during times that I would usually smoke. It took me a while before I even realized that I was doing it.

Another thing for me was to think about one craving at a time, one day at a time, etc. For the first month, every night I kind of cheered myself on for making it through another day. It can get overwhelming to think about never smoking again. Every morning, my goal was to just get through that day. So, every night I was happy that I achieved my goal. I succeeded in completed many little goals, not one big one.

And for the first 2 months, we went out to dinner every week to celebrate (1 week no smoking, 2 weeks no smoking). At our 1 month no smoking anniversary, we each got to buy ourselves a present for succeeding. Then at one year, we went out to a really nice, expensive restaurant. It was nice having something tangible to work towards.

afox007 · December 2013

Tchavon1984 said:

I'm really proud of myself its been 13 days since Ive quit and 12 for FI although he messed up and had a cig the other day. I knew it was going to be harder for him then it would be for myself. I'm starting to feel like Im running out of ways to keep him focused and not smoke. Ive showed him pictures threatened to not get married if he wanted to continue to smoke. And it doesnt make it any better that the guys he works with dont respect the fact that he's trying to quit. One guy actually thought it would be funny to blow smoke in his face on the 2nd day of him quitting. I thought it was important for us to stop because I want to have the longest life possible with him. And I didnt want something we could control doing to end it sooner. Has anyone else quit? And what helped you stay strong and focused?

My only advice is don't threaten him or use ultimatums they don't work and may even have an opposite effect. My ex wanted me to quit and so did I so I went cold turkey. I went six months without smoking and then had a cigarette with his sister one night while I was drinking. I got "caught" and was basically told to chose him or my smoking. I went right back to smoking and just hid my cigarettes with my spare tire in the car. Now 4 years later I'm still smoking, but honestly think if he hadn't said anything I never would have picked it up again.

KPBM89 · December 2013

Congrats on quitting! I don't smoke, but I've had several people close to me go through quitting, including my SIL and my dad. Dad quit cold turkey the day he found out he had diabetes. He wanted to improve his health overall and also when he quit I stopped being sick all the time. It is the best change you can make!

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

Thank you all

climbingsingle · December 2013

Congrats!! I quit in October 2010. What worked for me was limiting alcohol in the beginning. A drink and a cigarette always went hand in hand for me.

Nikita2013 · December 2013

Congradulations! I had quit smoking about 2 years ago, my fiancee told me he didn't like smokers so I decided quit for him. I quit cold turkey, it wasn't easy. One of the things I did was I stopped hanging out with the people that I knew smoked and with the support of my fiancee I quit easily. Maybe you guys can try like the patch or something. I didn't smoke for very long so it was easy for me, I'm not sure if it would be safe for you guys to just stop automatically. Good Luck!

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

I'm great I dont need anything I havent smoked dont want to smoke nor do I think about it.... it FI with the issue he finally told me the truth that he had smoked several times so I had a come to jesus moment. I forced my quit day on him so he now has his own to give him time to get whateva out of his system. I just told him I dont want smell it taste it if I kiss him. He may need some assistance as far as patches bcuz he's more addicted then I thought

hellohkb · December 2013

Woohoo!! *happy dance* Congratulations!

Tchavon1984 · December 2013

Thank you 17 days and going strong

I quit smoking!

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