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Do I invite this couple?

RosaW86RosaW86 member
Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
When my FI and sent out our save-the-dates at the six month mark (end of September), we invited quite a few of my colleagues, but not everyone. Basically, we chose those with whom we've socialized frequently outside of work. Now since we sent out those save-the-dates, so in the course of just a few months, we have gotten to know one of my other colleagues much better to the point where, if we'd send out save-the-dates now, I'd surely invite him and his fiancee. What do I do? I don't want to make it come across like they were B-listed (after all, I wouldn't invite him because other people cancelled -- that'd be so rude), but I don't want to offend him and his fiancee by not inviting them even though we're as close to them as to some of my other colleagues. What do you suggest?
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Re: Do I invite this couple?

  • RosaW86RosaW86 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    Right! That is helpful, thanks. It's just that I worry they might think it's odd that they never received a STD while other colleagues did? I don't want this to come across as an afterthought.
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  • KickAssMOHKickAssMOH member
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    I only sent STD's to close friends and all family who we intended to invite. We did not send STD's to people who we were not sure about (also, I did not send them to any coworkers). We sent invitations all at once, and we added in a few friends and coworkers at that time. From what I gathered on this forum, what I did was acceptable and was not a form of B-listing.
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  • RosaW86RosaW86 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    Thanks for all the helpful comments so far. 

    @KickAssMOH The reason we've sent STDs to everyone is because most people will have to travel quite a bit for the wedding... it's a special circumstance though.
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Agreed, we are sending invites to people that didn't get save the dates depending on how the budget is looking about 2 months out from the wedding. As long as the invites go out at the same time, you are good to go.
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  • clarke10clarke10 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Just because they didn't get an STD doesn't mean they can't get an invitation. I would definitely invite them. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Not sending someone an STD doesn't mean you can't invite them.  I'd go ahead and add these people to your guest list.
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    B-listing: Inviting as many people as you can, and then sending out more invitations to the next people on your list when you get declines from the first round.

    Not B-listing: Sending an invitation to someone you did not send a save-the-date to.

    Also not B-listing: Sending your invitations, and then meeting someone/getting to know someone after the invitations are sent, and inviting them as well.
    Anniversary
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  • thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    It's totally find etiquette wise to just invite them. If you're that concerned that they may have seen your STD hanging in another colleague's office and think they were an afterthought, I'd just do like a PP suggest and hand them an STD a few weeks before you send out invites and say "We're mailing out all our invitations in a few weeks, but I wanted you to know that I'm so excited we've become close friends and wanted you to have a STD because we'd be honored to have you attend our wedding." 
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree- don't worry about the STD, send an invitation.

    Mail everything wedding related (or personal related) to your co-workers' homes, then there is less of a chance one person will find out that so-and-so got an invite and they didn't (keep business and personal life separate). 
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  • RosaW86RosaW86 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2013
    @SP29 I'm not sure that is how things turn out in practice -- of course people will find out that some people got an invite. For one, some people will have to take time out of work and parties or events are something we usually freely talk about in the office anyway. Having said that, I'm don't think some colleagues will feel slighted, they know who I hang out with outside of work. 
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