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I may be short by two bridesmaids, and don't know what to do!!!

shelby914shelby914 member
edited December 2013 in Wedding Party
I live in California and will be getting married in September 2014. I asked my sister to be my maid of honor, I also have 4 bridesmaids, two live on the east coast, one lives in Finland and one lives in Hong Kong. The two who live out of the country were exchange students that lived with my family while I was growing up. My fiance has one best man and four groomsmen.

Here is my problem, the girl that lives in Hong Kong is unsure if she'll be able to be in the wedding now because she is starting a new job next month and will need to wait a couple months before she can request time off. The other girl who lives in Finland is pregnant with her second child and is due three months before my wedding and told me last night when I spoke with her that because she doesn't know what will happen that I should plan the wedding as though she won't be in it.  So, now I don't know what to do! Although I know it won't be the end of the world if my wedding party ends up being uneven I hope that won't be the case and most importantly would love for them to be there and celebrate the day with me! I haven't found any dresses yet and I don't know if I should wait until I get a definite answer if all of my bridesmaids will be in the wedding or if I should plan on only having 3 girls and figure out what to do if later on one or both of them tell me that they'll be able to make it.

Has anyone else had a similar situation or have any advice on what I could do? Any help would be great!

Re: I may be short by two bridesmaids, and don't know what to do!!!

  • I think you already have a definitive answer from them. I would pick a dress you want the girls to get and if they get it by X date then ok great! If not, then they're not in it and you will have uneven sides. I think if you add 2 other people it will look like you're replacing the first two girls.
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • You could pick out a color/fabric and ask your BM's to choose their own dresses. Just in case your other friends end up coming - they should be able to find something to wear.
    image 
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    shelby914 said:
    I live in California and will be getting married in September 2014. I asked my sister to be my maid of honor, I also have 4 bridesmaids, two live on the east coast, one lives in Finland and one lives in Hong Kong. The two who live out of the country were exchange students that lived with my family while I was growing up. My fiance has one best man and four groomsmen.

    Here is my problem, the girl that lives in Hong Kong is unsure if she'll be able to be in the wedding now because she is starting a new job next month and will need to wait a couple months before she can request time off. The other girl who lives in Finland is pregnant with her second child and is due three months before my wedding and told me last night when I spoke with her that because she doesn't know what will happen that I should plan the wedding as though she won't be in it.  So, now I don't know what to do! Although I know it won't be the end of the world if my wedding party ends up being uneven I hope that won't be the case and most importantly would love for them to be there and celebrate the day with me! I haven't found any dresses yet and I don't know if I should wait until I get a definite answer if all of my bridesmaids will be in the wedding or if I should plan on only having 3 girls and figure out what to do if later on one or both of them tell me that they'll be able to make it.

    Has anyone else had a similar situation or have any advice on what I could do? Any help would be great!
    Your dear friends may not make it to your wedding. That's your problem. It matters not if they are bridesmaids. Sides don't have to be even. Relax. At six months out, when you're ready to discuss dresses, then talk again.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Dude, uneven sides honestly look BETTER and classier a lot of the time than even sides. Less old-fashioned/creepy-cookie-cutter-ish, more modern.

    Hopefully your friends can make it, but taking an international trip for a wedding is a lot to expect--especially with a 3 month-old baby. Check in with them again in a few months, don't invite others to replace them, and see what happens.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Do not replace these 2 girls with anyone else.  Sides don't have to be even. 

    I recommend giving your BMs a nuetral color (black, navy, etc) and let them pick out their own dresses where they live.  That way if your two friends out of the country decide they can be in your wedding, they can just go to the nearest store and buy a dress in that color off the rack.

    Keep them in the program and send them each a copy of it after the wedding, so they know that even though they couldn't make the wedding, they were thought of by you.


    Such a great idea!  Very thoughtful.
    PrettyGirlLost
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