YAY..... BOO

hlvonb · December 2013

So this is a happy yet sad post.

My cousin proposed to his girlfriend and according to the picture he sent me, she said YES!!! (unless he suddenly developed some very feminine looking hands lol). I am so happy for him. I think he is a little too young but I will support him in this since he said he thought about this for awhile before deciding to even get the ring and they do have a great relationship.

The sad part though is that everyone thinks they are too young to even be engaged yet thinking about marriage and so people smile to their face (but its the obvious I'm going to fake this smile because I don't agree in the slightest). The only people who I think truly support this is my fiancé and I. I have even heard other people talking about it behind their back.... makes me angry to hear it.

misshart00 · December 2013

How old are they?

hlvonb · December 2013

misshart00 said:

How old are they?

@misshart00

He is 19 and I think she is either 19 or 20. I can't quite remember her age

misshart00 · December 2013

hlvonb said:

misshart00 said:

How old are they?

@misshart00

He is 19 and I think she is either 19 or 20. I can't quite remember her age

While I think that's kind of young, I think a lot depends on maturity. Are they aware of what marriage entails or are they all "we're in loooove! Yay! Lets get married!!" I think that's the difference.

chibiyui · December 2013

I personally would side eye it as well given their age, I'd hope for the best for them though.

I am a terrible person though.

hlvonb · December 2013

misshart00 said:

misshart00 said:

How old are they?

@misshart00
He is 19 and I think she is either 19 or 20. I can't quite remember her age
While I think that's kind of young, I think a lot depends on maturity. Are they aware of what marriage entails or are they all "we're in loooove! Yay! Lets get married!!" I think that's the difference.

@misshart00

I know he is mature enough for it. He and I have talked on many occasions about what marriage really entails. I also told him to be prepared his relationship will change (neither good nor bad) when they become engaged and married. He understood this.

I haven't had a chance to talk to her 1 on 1 but I think she is the same way based on what I know about her and the times I have been around her.

I do think they are young but maybe the fact that they have been together for 2 and 1/2 years is helping me not be as unsupportive as others....

hlvonb · December 2013

chibiyui said:

I personally would side eye it as well given their age, I'd hope for the best for them though.

I am a terrible person though.

@chibiyui

I do think they are young but maybe the fact that they have been together for 2 and 1/2 years is helping me not be as unsupportive as others....

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

At 19 years old, I had been with my then-boyfriend for 2.5 years, too. And I still wasn't ready to marry him.

If I had accepted his marriage proposal, my parents and family would (rightly) have side-eyed the crap out of that decision.

I agree with @misshart00 -- it depends on their maturity levels more than their ages, but the fact that NO ONE in the family is supporting this is a pretty good sign that they're too young.

chibiyui · December 2013

hlvonb said:

chibiyui said:

I personally would side eye it as well given their age, I'd hope for the best for them though.

I am a terrible person though.

@chibiyui
I do think they are young but maybe the fact that they have been together for 2 and 1/2 years is helping me not be as unsupportive as others....

It really depends on the individual, but I think the odds are against them here. I had lots of friends/knew lots of people who were at that age in similar relationships and it didn't last. I hope they beat the odds, but I'd just be more worried about them being financially responsible and crap if it goes downhill.

hlvonb · December 2013

HisGirlFriday13 said:

At 19 years old, I had been with my then-boyfriend for 2.5 years, too. And I still wasn't ready to marry him.

If I had accepted his marriage proposal, my parents and family would (rightly) have side-eyed the crap out of that decision.

I agree with @misshart00 -- it depends on their maturity levels more than their ages, but the fact that NO ONE in the family is supporting this is a pretty good sign that they're too young.

@HisGirlFriday13

Like I said to misshart00, I know his maturity level is there. I am assuming hers is too based off the times I have met her.

I do think they're young (like I have stated a few times) but I do support them because of the maturity factor that I am seeing.

The people I know for sure are having an issue with it also think that my fiancé and I waiting 18 months to get married was not right. I always wanted a summer wedding and getting engaged December 1st was too much for me to plan a wedding in 6 months. Not to mention money would have been non-existent if we tried to do it that quick.

hlvonb · December 2013

chibiyui said:

hlvonb said:

chibiyui said:

I personally would side eye it as well given their age, I'd hope for the best for them though.

I am a terrible person though.

@chibiyui
I do think they are young but maybe the fact that they have been together for 2 and 1/2 years is helping me not be as unsupportive as others....

It really depends on the individual, but I think the odds are against them here. I had lots of friends/knew lots of people who were at that age in similar relationships and it didn't last. I hope they beat the odds, but I'd just be more worried about them being financially responsible and crap if it goes downhill.

@chibiyui

I think they can beat the odds. Financially they are doing pretty good for where they are. I don't know what her ideal timeframe is until the wedding (I am hoping I get to talk to her 1 on 1 during Christmas) but I know when he and I talked last, he said he wanted to wait 2 years before getting married. This was based on him wanting to save x amount before they even began serious planning.

chibiyui · December 2013

hlvonb said:

chibiyui said:

hlvonb said:

chibiyui said:

I personally would side eye it as well given their age, I'd hope for the best for them though.

I am a terrible person though.

@chibiyui
I do think they are young but maybe the fact that they have been together for 2 and 1/2 years is helping me not be as unsupportive as others....

It really depends on the individual, but I think the odds are against them here. I had lots of friends/knew lots of people who were at that age in similar relationships and it didn't last. I hope they beat the odds, but I'd just be more worried about them being financially responsible and crap if it goes downhill.

@chibiyui
I think they can beat the odds. Financially they are doing pretty good for where they are. I don't know what her ideal timeframe is until the wedding (I am hoping I get to talk to her 1 on 1 during Christmas) but I know when he and I talked last, he said he wanted to wait 2 years before getting married. This was based on him wanting to save x amount before they even began serious planning.

Okay, it sounds like they have their heads on their shoulders pretty decent for their age. I hope everything goes well for them!

hlvonb · December 2013

chibiyui said:

hlvonb said:

chibiyui said:

hlvonb said:

chibiyui said:

I personally would side eye it as well given their age, I'd hope for the best for them though.

I am a terrible person though.

@chibiyui
I do think they are young but maybe the fact that they have been together for 2 and 1/2 years is helping me not be as unsupportive as others....

It really depends on the individual, but I think the odds are against them here. I had lots of friends/knew lots of people who were at that age in similar relationships and it didn't last. I hope they beat the odds, but I'd just be more worried about them being financially responsible and crap if it goes downhill.

@chibiyui
I think they can beat the odds. Financially they are doing pretty good for where they are. I don't know what her ideal timeframe is until the wedding (I am hoping I get to talk to her 1 on 1 during Christmas) but I know when he and I talked last, he said he wanted to wait 2 years before getting married. This was based on him wanting to save x amount before they even began serious planning.

Okay, it sounds like they have their heads on their shoulders pretty decent for their age. I hope everything goes well for them!

@chibiyui

Same here. I am sure I will post updates later on if there's anything worth updating lol

smalfrie19 · December 2013

I too am skeptical. I was engaged at 20 with my BF of 4 years and I gave the ring back an broke up after 2 weeks because I realized that we were not going to work out.

I hope for the best...but I couldn't give my blessings to this...if they want to wait so long, why do they need the "engaged" title so soon?

hlvonb · December 2013

smalfrie19 said:

I too am skeptical. I was engaged at 20 with my BF of 4 years and I gave the ring back an broke up after 2 weeks because I realized that we were not going to work out.

I hope for the best...but I couldn't give my blessings to this...if they want to wait so long, why do they need the "engaged" title so soon?

@smalfrie19

Like I said the last time I talked to him he wanted to wait so they could save up X amount of money. For all I know, he / they saved the amount already

Emmy1493 · December 2013

Well, to be honest I don't really see an exact problem with their age per se. What I would feel antsy about is a couples relationship history. I was 19 when my FI proposed. Two days later I turned 20, and he is 21. Not to brag, but I feel we are much mature than most couples my age, and many recognize that so we have support. We have been together since my sophomore year in HS. Yes, we are still growing and maturing as an adult couple but it has worked out for us pretty well. We work on what needs to be worked on and do what we need to in order for this all to work. Love, trust, and lots of compromise.

On another note, yes it's young, but at least your being the bigger person and trying your best to support them and not talk crap about them like the others.

Edit: Spelling

climbingsingle · December 2013

I think that is super young to get married. However, my parents married when they were 19 and 20. And they're still married (and still very happy) 43 years later.

s-aries8990 · December 2013

What do you mean, not right?

hlvonb said:

@HisGirlFriday13
Like I said to misshart00, I know his maturity level is there. I am assuming hers is too based off the times I have met her.
I do think they're young (like I have stated a few times) but I do support them because of the maturity factor that I am seeing.
The people I know for sure are having an issue with it also think that my fiancé and I waiting 18 months to get married was not right. I always wanted a summer wedding and getting engaged December 1st was too much for me to plan a wedding in 6 months. Not to mention money would have been non-existent if we tried to do it that quick.

I think that if they are mature, they can handle it, but I think a nice, longer-ish engagement would help them out a bit.

s-aries8990 · December 2013

DP

bethsmiles · December 2013

To be honest, as much as I would hope the best for them I would be skeptical. 2 1/2 years isn't that long when you're only 19. But it's their life and their decision so I would be supportive and keep any skeptical thoughts to myself.

hlvonb · December 2013

emmaxbean93 said:

Well, to be honest I don't really see an exact problem with their age per se. What I would feel antsy about is a couples relationship history. I was 19 when my FI proposed. Two days later I turned 20, and he is 21. Not to brag, but I feel we are much mature than most couples my age, and many recognize that so we have support. We have been together since my sophomore year in HS. Yes, we are still growing and maturing as an adult couple but it has worked out for us pretty well. We work on what needs to be worked on and do what we need to in order for this all to work. Love, trust, and lots of compromise.

On another note, yes it's young, but at least your being the bigger person and trying your best to support them and not talk crap about them like the others.

Edit: Spelling

@emmaxbean93

From what I can see when I am around them, they are a great couple. They have what I see as a strong relationship. They haven't split up or even considered it (even though there was a time where splitting up would have been completely understandable) but they were hell bent on getting through it.

Thanks!

hlvonb · December 2013

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I think that is super young to get married. However, my parents married when they were 19 and 20. And they're still married (and still very happy) 43 years later.

@ClimbingBrideNY

Glad to hear it!

hlvonb · December 2013

s-aries8990 said:

What do you mean, not right?

hlvonb said:

@HisGirlFriday13
Like I said to misshart00, I know his maturity level is there. I am assuming hers is too based off the times I have met her.
I do think they're young (like I have stated a few times) but I do support them because of the maturity factor that I am seeing.
The people I know for sure are having an issue with it also think that my fiancé and I waiting 18 months to get married was not right. I always wanted a summer wedding and getting engaged December 1st was too much for me to plan a wedding in 6 months. Not to mention money would have been non-existent if we tried to do it that quick.

I think that if they are mature, they can handle it, but I think a nice, longer-ish engagement would help them out a bit.

@s-aries8990

I am not 100% sure what they meant by that but I am guessing they meant that it is inappropriate and a sign of a weak relationship to have a long engagement.

I think a longer engagement might help them out a little more too but ultimately the choice is theirs.

hlvonb · December 2013

bethsmiles said:

To be honest, as much as I would hope the best for them I would be skeptical. 2 1/2 years isn't that long when you're only 19. But it's their life and their decision so I would be supportive and keep any skeptical thoughts to myself.

@bethsmiles

I am keeping any negative thoughts that I might have (which I don't really have any) to myself. It's other people in the family that can't keep them to theirselves.

pittiemama14 · December 2013

I was 20 when I got married, and my H and I are doing just fine. I think as long as they both have a good head on their shoulders and really understand what marriage means to each other, and have things like finances, living arrangments, etc, figured out, they will be fine. Our families fully supported our choices the day that we got married, but we had to work really hard to prove to some of them (not all, most of my family was on board from day one) that we knew what we were getting ourselves into. Give it some time to sink in with your family and most of them will come around. After they hear the couple talk about their plans and see that they have thought it out and are not just rushing in blindly, things will get better.

hlvonb · December 2013

pittiemama14 said:

I was 20 when I got married, and my H and I are doing just fine. I think as long as they both have a good head on their shoulders and really understand what marriage means to each other, and have things like finances, living arrangments, etc, figured out, they will be fine. Our families fully supported our choices the day that we got married, but we had to work really hard to prove to some of them (not all, most of my family was on board from day one) that we knew what we were getting ourselves into. Give it some time to sink in with your family and most of them will come around. After they hear the couple talk about their plans and see that they have thought it out and are not just rushing in blindly, things will get better.

@pittiemama14

Thanks! I hope you're right

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