Wedding Etiquette Forum

So, I accidentally had a partial cash bar at my wedding.

The bar was supposed to open after the ceremony and go until half an hour before the end of the wedding. Apparently, the bartenders let themselves be talked into opening it before the ceremony (NOT by me, the groom, or my father, the only people who should have had the authority to do this), which meant it ended an hour earlier than it should have, too (because we only paid for four hours). This is annoying, but in grand scene of things not a big deal--except, they didn't close the bar down, they started charging people! And nobody told me until after the wedding, which meant there was nothing I could do. They also, all night, let people order and pay out of pocket for the pricier liquors, which they weren't supposed to do (I.e., it was full bar, but not top shelf). I have to pick up or decorations and stuff at noon, and I need advice about how to handle this. Help?!

Re: So, I accidentally had a partial cash bar at my wedding.

  • I would demand to speak to the manager, ask on whose authority the bartenders made those decisions, ask why they think they had that right, and then ask how the venue plans to rectify them having broken your contracted agreement. I would be polite but firm, but I would also let it be kknown that I was furious.
    All of this ^^.  There absolutely should be restitution at a minimum.
  • Yeah, someone HUGELY dropped the ball at your wedding, and embarrassed the hell out of you and your FI and family because of it. I wonder if the bartenders actually gave the money for the drinks they sold to the venue, or if they pocketed it? This sounds shady enough that I would wonder. And, the fact that 'someone' made them do it but no one seems to know who (is that true?) is even shadier. You and your FI and your dad (whoever was paying) should probably join forces on this and demand they fix the problem.
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
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    edited December 2013
    Double post. Grr.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited December 2013
    I would demand to speak to the manager, ask on whose authority the bartenders made those decisions, ask why they think they had that right, and then ask how the venue plans to rectify them having broken your contracted agreement. I would be polite but firm, but I would also let it be kknown that I was furious.
    This 100%.  Your guests should not at any time have been expected to pay for drinks, and the bartenders had no business putting you in a position where your contract was broken.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2013
    Duplicate post
  • What's the outcome, CLCountry?
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  • I would demand to speak to the manager, ask on whose authority the bartenders made those decisions, ask why they think they had that right, and then ask how the venue plans to rectify them having broken your contracted agreement. I would be polite but firm, but I would also let it be kknown that I was furious.
    Exactly this.  You had a contract that was violated and I would demand to speak to the manager or the person who was in charge of your event.  I might even ask for the owner if it is a privately owned establishment--you agreed upon a contract and they did not honor it in MAJOR ways.  They allowed people to "talk" them into opening the bar?  YOU (or your family) are the hosts, that never should have happened.  We also have a contract for a full open bar, but we don't have the premium liquor.  Those bottles are supposed to be removed from sight, and people will get well liquor, but they won't have to pay for anything.  If you hosted a bar, and the venue circumvented that somehow, I'd be really angry.  I'm furious for you, and I really hope that you are able to get the compensation and apology that you deserve. 
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  • I would demand to speak to the manager, ask on whose authority the bartenders made those decisions, ask why they think they had that right, and then ask how the venue plans to rectify them having broken your contracted agreement. I would be polite but firm, but I would also let it be kknown that I was furious.
    This.  I would also write reviews so other people are aware of what goes on when they book this venue.
  • I FULLY agree with other posters. The bartenders really should be fired for this.

    As for what to ask for ... I would ask for the ENTIRE bar package back. I'd allow myself to be negotiated down to 50% of the bar fees.
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  • I wouldn't be surprised if the bartenders pocketed the money and if they've done it before.  Or the venue "forgets" to take down the top shelf.   What ended up happening?  Any idea how much was spent?  I'd go to small claims court to prove a point. 
  • GrrArghGrrArgh member
    250 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    I'd probably also find a way to issue an apology to your guests, like someone said through the family chatter or even in writing if that's plausible. I'd certainly want it to be known that was not our doing in any way and (again if plausible) find out how much was spent during that charged time and attempt to make restitution to my guests once it's all settled. 
  • I hope you got across how completely unacceptable this was and demanded restitution for their breach of your contract.

    Please come back and let us know how it went!
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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  • I've been to a wedding where this happened. The guests and bridal party were able to convince the bartenders to open the bar before the ceremony started. I was really shocked. 
  • I've been to a wedding where this happened. The guests and bridal party were able to convince the bartenders to open the bar before the ceremony started. I was really shocked. 


    If this happens, it shouldn't eat into the 4 hours that were actually paid for!  That's what i can't get over.  The bartenders opened the bar at 5, without the instruction of the people who have a contract for an open bar from the hours of 6-10 for example.  They can't just close the bar at 9.  The contract said 10.  OP is entitled to at an absolute minimum 1/4 of her bar package back, because they were in breach of contract, and if there was wording in the contract banning a cash bar situation, she is entitled to more than that.

     

    Definitely write up as many reviews as possible, and bring this to the owner/manager's attention; i agree that this is shady enough that it's possible the bartenders were pocketing the money they shouldn't have been charging.  If you tipped them before the reception, you should be able to get that money back from the venue as well.  This is unacceptable.

  • I tried to update last week, but my computer wasn't working right for some reason. Let's try this again:

    I spoke to the venue's event coordinator. According to her, we were only ever supposed to have a three hour open bar (pretty sure she's wrong about that, but I haven't really checked) and were only charged for that, anyway. She did not count the early opening against our time. Said early opening was apparently requested by my brother while my dad stood there and watched, so we don't have a leg to stand on there. Although, I guess they really should have asked me if it was okay because I was the one they had been dealing with and the one who arranged and ordered everything. I had also said that I did not want the bar opened until after dinner.

    Only about $250 in drinks were charged and most of that was by my brother, one of my cousins, and one of the groomsmen who was buying martinis with premium liquor for my husband because he "didn't want him to drink well on his wedding day."  Whatever. The rest was from my husband's uncle, who bought nine shots (which apparently were not included in the package we paid for . . . didn't know that), and one of my bridesmaids, who insisted that the bartender charge her, so she could tip them.

    The coordinator basically tried to blame me, and said that if I wanted the kind of bar where no one had to open their wallets all night, I had to make that explicit (silly me, I thought that's what open bar meant), and even then, she couldn't guarantee someone wouldn't order something that wasn't covered and be charged for it.

    So, while typing all of this up, I feel myself getting pretty steamed again, but honestly, I just don't have the energy to care at this point. These last two weeks have been insane (wedding 12/21, Christmas, moved 12/27) and the wedding was otherwise absolutely perfect. 

  • Unless your father physically gave them permission, I don't see how they could do that.  ugh, not fun! 
  • clcountry said:

    I tried to update last week, but my computer wasn't working right for some reason. Let's try this again:

    I spoke to the venue's event coordinator. According to her, we were only ever supposed to have a three hour open bar (pretty sure she's wrong about that, but I haven't really checked) and were only charged for that, anyway. She did not count the early opening against our time. Said early opening was apparently requested by my brother while my dad stood there and watched, so we don't have a leg to stand on there. Although, I guess they really should have asked me if it was okay because I was the one they had been dealing with and the one who arranged and ordered everything. I had also said that I did not want the bar opened until after dinner.

    Only about $250 in drinks were charged and most of that was by my brother, one of my cousins, and one of the groomsmen who was buying martinis with premium liquor for my husband because he "didn't want him to drink well on his wedding day."  Whatever. The rest was from my husband's uncle, who bought nine shots (which apparently were not included in the package we paid for . . . didn't know that), and one of my bridesmaids, who insisted that the bartender charge her, so she could tip them.

    The coordinator basically tried to blame me, and said that if I wanted the kind of bar where no one had to open their wallets all night, I had to make that explicit (silly me, I thought that's what open bar meant), and even then, she couldn't guarantee someone wouldn't order something that wasn't covered and be charged for it.

    So, while typing all of this up, I feel myself getting pretty steamed again, but honestly, I just don't have the energy to care at this point. These last two weeks have been insane (wedding 12/21, Christmas, moved 12/27) and the wedding was otherwise absolutely perfect. 

    OMG this is such bullshit! I mean you probably spent tens of thousands of dollars, and they are fighting with you over a couple hundred bucks.  Bad business!  I would write a very bad review. Did your dad sign the contract, or did you say that your parents had authority to make changes? Because if not, then you do have a leg to stand on.  

    This is a very good thing for future brides to check into with their venues.  If you are just having beer and wine, then liquor shouldn't be available for purchase, just like if you get the premium package, top shelf shouldn't be available. This makes me angry for you!
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  • I'm sorry about the outcome, but I'm lad you had a beautiful day!
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