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Setting a Date / Winter Wedding?

cookam02cookam02 member
First Anniversary
in Students
I would appreciate any advice people have on setting a wedding date. My fiance and I have hit a lot of bumps along the way since our engagement, as far as choosing a date. We are finally to the stage where we are able to set an official date but we are both worry-warts and struggle with our limited options. We have decided to get married in Indianapolis where I work and my fiance is a full-time student. But! All of his family will be traveling here from Fort Wayne, IN (2 hrs north of us) and all of my family will be traveling from Traverse City, MI (7.5 hrs north of us at the very top of the Michigan). 
Because my fiance is a full-time student and we both prefer to have a honeymoon immediately following the wedding, we probably have to choose a date during a school break. My fiance is worried about a Spring Break wedding because he would have tests/hw/projects due immediately upon return. That really only leaves a winter break wedding which makes me feel guilty for making family travel in the dead of the winter, or waiting until the following summer of 2015. My fiance strongly prefers not to be engaged for 2 years, so he feels that winter break is as far out as he wants to push the wedding. We could set a date for this coming summer as well (August would still be do-able as far as planning, however the reception venue I love and can afford is not available until after the school semester has started in August). Even in August, I worry about having enough time to plan anyway. Plus, my fiance is a Marine and we would have to work around his 2 week summer drilling schedule (usually don't find out exactly when it is until a couple months before).

A LOT GOING ON! Did anybody else ever have this much trouble just picking the date?!!? Any suggestions/feedback? Thanks a ton!!!
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Re: Setting a Date / Winter Wedding?

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    allowachickallowachick member
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    I'm feeling nauseous even thinking about setting a date. The day I told my mom and my grandparents they wanted to know if I had any plans yet. This was less than 24 hours after I had gotten engaged! Of course it wouldn't be fair to say I had no plans at all but all I have are general ideas, and there a number of things in the way. 

    FI and I want to get married next summer after graduation because it will be easiest for everyone to make the time and travel plans for our family, and we want to start our "real life" after school together especially if that involves moving to a new city. 

    FI has applied to Teach for America, so he could get placed in any city where they need him if he is accepted. We won't have that information until at least January.

    Also, I am currently a catechumen in the Orthodox church. What this means is that I am in the conversion process but not yet a full member; I am being instructed first in a range of things that I should know before I can be made a full member. What this translates to in terms of setting a date is that since the length of the catechumen process is set on an individual basis (the most recent example I am aware of has been six months long), I won't know exactly when I can set a date to be married in the church without setting an extra burden on the catechumen process. 

    This summer (August most sanely) should work in theory, but not knowing where we will be living or what if any employment we will have beyond our current retail jobs or what obligations might block out certain dates makes thinking of definitively choosing a date really dizzying. 
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    Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
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    If you can pick a different venue, August may be your best bet.  Beyond the worry of asking people to travel in the "dead of winter" you are really asking them to travel at Christmas time, which is very expensive for a multitude of reasons.  You also run the risk of airports being snowed in or flights cancelled because of storms.

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    ekelly6ekelly6 member
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    My fiancé and I are leaning toward a winter wedding despite being out of town as well. We live in Grand Rapids, MI but all of our family is on the east side (2 hours away). We will prob end up with a late January wedding. When it comes down to it, it's your and your fi's wedding and anniversary for the rest of your lives. Yes, there could be a huge snow storm and the numbers may be a little smaller. The important people will be there....I say just go with what feels best for the two of you!
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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    allowachick said:
    This summer (August most sanely) should work in theory, but not knowing where we will be living or what if any employment we will have beyond our current retail jobs or what obligations might block out certain dates makes thinking of definitively choosing a date really dizzying. 
    @allowachick, don't set a date yet!  If your Fi gets into TFA, TFA will basically own that summer after college.  You may be able to squeeze in a wedding, but definitely find out his training schedule and talk to the TFA regional staff first.  Good luck!
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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    We had to push our date around quite a bit, too.  I worked (TFA) for two years after college and am now in law school, while Fi has always worked straight out of college.  So I was sort of eager for a date, and Fi really did not want a long engagement (irony).  He proposed at the beginning of my 2L year, but we are still going to end up with a 2.5 year engagement.  The bottom line for us was finances.  Family is not paying, and we wanted the big party wedding, so we had to push it back and then push it back again.  Then we decided on Spring 2015; but due to holidays and Fi's birthday, we were left with exactly one Saturday in May that would work!  We moved it back one more month, from May 2 to May 30, 2015.  Phew.

    The bottom line is, consider what you and Fi want and can afford.  I would definitely suggest avoiding a spring break wedding-- your Fi is right to worry about schoolwork.  Why is Fi so set on not having a 2 year engagement?  It sounds like waiting until Summer 2015 would be a good option in terms of school commitments and traveling for VIPs.
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    allowachickallowachick member
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    @JCBride2014

    I think we found a date in May right after that will work no matter what happens with TFA or any other program because it will be before any summer program starts

    Thanks for the advice

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    Gina0887Gina0887 member
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    what about summer time? We were going to pick our date by when our venue was available and it just so happened they had our 5 year dating anniversary as the only open Saturday as well :)
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