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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

wedding party roles for a 12 yr old?

i have two cousins who are more like my little sisters. I am VERY close to both of them. I plan on letting the one who is 13 be a junior bridesmaid, but I only have 2 bridesmaids my age. If i let the 12 yr old be a bridesmaid, it will be half children/half adults and i personally think that will look a little funny. i love both of them, so what is an idea of a role the 12-yr-old can have? i do NOT want her to feel any less important so i want her role to be something that she will feel is a big deal. thanks in advance!! :)

Re: wedding party roles for a 12 yr old?

  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Just make them both bridesmaids. They don't have to do anything besides stand for you during the ceremony, they'll both feel important and they'll both be equal. You don't have to include them in any bachelorette parties or more adult shenanigans. 
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    KittyKaty20
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Have them be bridesmaids or readers, the same way you would with adults.

    And actually, @chibiyui, minor attendants still have to be included in bachelorette parties along with the adult attendants.  It means that you don't have "adult" shenanigans.
  • I agree that you should have them both be bridesmaids. I don't think it will look weird at all. Also I think that is nice to invite the younger girls to part of the bachelorette party (dinner, spa day etc) but think it is okay if they leave early.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2013

    I have 2 MOH's (my sisters) and a 6 year old BM.  FI has BM and a 12 year old GM.  We really wanted to include our nieces & nephew into our ceremony.  We also have 3 year old niece as flower girl. So, nearly half our wedding party is kids, but they are important to us, so we are fine with that. I don't care if it follows traditions or not. 

    So I would say go ahead and make her a bridesmaid.  And I agree with zitiqueen about dropping the "junior" part.  My mom kept referring to my niece as a junior bridesmaid, but she's not doing anything different than the others, so why bother with pointing out that she's younger?  Just call them all bridesmaids, regardless of age.

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    NYCMercedesdoeydo
  • No kid/teenager wants to be 'junior' anything. And when you're talking about 'letting' them be anything, it makes me think you really don't actually want to include them.
    Also, the picture below shows the bridesmaids and groomsmen (minus best man Harry) of William and Kate. Maybe I'm missing how this looks 'funny?'
    image
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    Maggie0829hellohkb
  • Jen4948 said:
    Have them be bridesmaids or readers, the same way you would with adults.

    And actually, @chibiyui, minor attendants still have to be included in bachelorette parties along with the adult attendants.  It means that you don't have "adult" shenanigans.
    It's perfectly fine to have "adult" activities without the kids.  Just invite them to something earlier, like a spa, and then go out with the adults afterwards.  I'm sure they are used to parents, etc. going out without them and would not expect to go out to a bar and drink.
    chibiyuiViczaesar
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Have them be bridesmaids or readers, the same way you would with adults.

    And actually, @chibiyui, minor attendants still have to be included in bachelorette parties along with the adult attendants.  It means that you don't have "adult" shenanigans.
    It's perfectly fine to have "adult" activities without the kids.  Just invite them to something earlier, like a spa, and then go out with the adults afterwards.  I'm sure they are used to parents, etc. going out without them and would not expect to go out to a bar and drink.
    You can have "adult" activities without the kids, but if the kids are in the wedding party, don't label the activities as "wedding-related." That really is rude to the kids you are asking to participate in your wedding party and then forcing them not to be involved in.
  • I am having several teenage bridesmaids/groomsman, including the maid of honor. There's nothing wrong or funny looking about it at all.


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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited December 2013
    Jen4948 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Have them be bridesmaids or readers, the same way you would with adults.

    And actually, @chibiyui, minor attendants still have to be included in bachelorette parties along with the adult attendants.  It means that you don't have "adult" shenanigans.
    It's perfectly fine to have "adult" activities without the kids.  Just invite them to something earlier, like a spa, and then go out with the adults afterwards.  I'm sure they are used to parents, etc. going out without them and would not expect to go out to a bar and drink.
    You can have "adult" activities without the kids, but if the kids are in the wedding party, don't label the activities as "wedding-related." That really is rude to the kids you are asking to participate in your wedding party and then forcing them not to be involved in.
    I disagree.  There is no rule that says just because you are a BM you have to be invited to every pre-wedding activity or festivity.  In fact, if I'm a BM in a wedding for a couple that is having a lot of pre-wedding events (engagement party, shower(s), bach parties), I actually appreciate not being invited to everything because I really don't want to go to every event.  It's called a bachelorette party, not a "bridesmaids party".  Yes, it's traditional (if you can say the short history of bachelorette parties even has a tradition) to invite the whole bridal party to the bachelorette, but there really isn't a rule that says you have to.  

    Kids aren't stupid, they know they aren't allowed to do everything that adults are allowed to.  That includes things like drinking champagne while getting ready for the wedding and attending "adult" activities or showers.

    ETA I was my aunt's MOH when I was ten.  I was included in some pre-wedding stuff and not others.  It didn't hurt my feelings, I understood that as a child, I wasn't allowed to go to everything. 
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    CrazyCatLady3ViczaesarKittyKaty20
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I agree that kids in the WP don't need to be included in EVERY activity. Have kids included doesn't mean you need to throw out all of the adult only activities. But do make sure to include them in everything they can do and maybe even get creative with some others. Like with PP example of drinking champagne while getting ready, maybe get some non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice so they can feel included in that. I have a 6-year old BM. Obviously there are some things she can't do, but I know she will love dress shopping, getting nails & hair done with us, and being included in helping get ready. Our 11-year old GM may not be able to join for the bachelor party, but he can participate in everything else.

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