NER - Consumption Bar?

labro · December 2013

Hi everyone! I'm usually just an E lurker but my FI are recently engaged and have started the search for a venue. Most of the venues we've looked at or contacted so far are a per person cost for their bar packages...however I've come across one recently that offers a consumption bar. We're expecting to have around 120 people actually ATTEND our event and we'll probably be split pretty evenly between our families. My family are pretty heavy partiers and drinkers so an open full bar is the obvious choice. However, his family really doesn't drink at all. Do you think we'd see a significant cost savings if we did a consumption bar rather than one of the other venues where we pay a set cost per adult regardless of if they drink or not? I'm really just curious about it. My sister is recently married and she had to pay a per person charge...and honesetly that's all I'm really familiar with. In one way...I'd hate to get stuck with this massive bar tab but I also hate the idea of grossly overpaying for a full open bar if there's the potential that up to 50% of our guest list won't even touch the alcohol available.

princessleia22 · December 2013

Generally the places that charge per person are going to make sure that they cover their costs, because they don't want to take a loss on it. They are running a business after all. So they probably base their rates on the high end of average alcohol consumption at typical wedding. If you have a lot of really big partiers and heavy drinkers, then per-person charge may be the better value. But it sounds like you will likely have a significant number of light or non-drinkers, so the consumption rate may be a good option to consider for you. If you expect to be consuming less than the average wedding, consumption rate will likely save you money.

bebe43 · December 2013

Depending on the cost per person, if you have a number of heavy drinkers, I would recommend doing the per person plan. We had 2 events (one on Friday, one on Saturday) for our wedding with roughly the same 200 people at each event. We paid $30/person for the bar for Saturday night (totaling around $6,000) and we paid for a consumption bar on Friday, which came out to around $10,000. At least a third of our guests did not drink at all- I had debated doing a consumption bar for both nights and was definitely glad we didn't.

misssunshine17 · December 2013

Could you compromise with the venue that they set an open bar price and if you go over that, you pay the lower price- consumption or open price? It's worth a shot asking.

You could also go beer and wine only is completely fine- assuming that they are cheaper drinks if you're worried about sticker shock of the bar. I was lucky and our consumption bar was 1k less than I budgeted.

Amyzen83 · December 2013

I like the limited bar option where you do the consumption based plan so you aren't over paying for the light - non-drinkers and for your friends and relatives that love to drink and party, you could simply host beer and wine, which seems normal for weddings. I personally think it's rude for guests to complain about what's hosted if you are properly hosting your guests to fit within your budget.

Liatris2010 · December 2013

I'd take a close list at your guest list and then decide. Your families are even and have opposite drinking habits, but what about your friends?

labro · December 2013

@jsaj25 That's exactly what I'm worried about...although the bar packages we've been quoted so far are significantly lower than what you payed. Right now at my top venue we're looking at close to 5k for their premium bar package.

@misssunshine17 I love negotiating with venues. I'll definitely remember to ask if that's an available option! I think I'll have to see what their cost per drink is for the consumption bar in order to determine if we'd do beer and wine only. Right now my preference is definitely to stick with a full bar.

I think another thing I have yet to do is total up the actual number of children we're inviting since that also affects our bar price for both the consumption and open bar packages. Some couples in FI's family have a bunch of kids...and while we don't expect many of them to actually come...I absolutely do not want to budget around that assumption. I've just never encountered the consumption bar option and I'm intrigued but also worried about it because I don't have any prior experience to go off of.

faeriedust101 · December 2013

Can you ask what the average price per drink is? The one big reason to go with an open bar is that there will not be surprises at the end. Also you need to ask how they account for each drink served. I'm actually doing a mixture of an open and consumption bar. We added on an extra hour to our reception that is not included in our open bar package so we will be paying for drinks the last 45 mins (bar shuts down the last 15 mins). I figured it was not worth the $14 per person when people are going to be starting to leave anyway.

photokitty · December 2013

My brother had a consumption bar - we noticed they had 2 or 3 servers at all times picking up any drinks set down for more than 5 seconds. Hi bar tab was larger than my top shelf per person tab.

I would only do consumption at a brunch or lunch event if I was going to offer full bar. Otherwise I would only do consumption if I was only offering beer and wine. GL!

labro · December 2013

@Liatris ...good point. Our friends make up about 30% of the guest list and none of them are total non-drinkers.

@photokitty Thanks! I think we'll just have to discuss it in detail with the venue when I meet with them on Saturday. Just curious...was your guest count similar in size to your brother's?

photokitty · December 2013

We had a few more people actually. My bar was $36/ person over 21. That averaged out to 6 mixed drinks per person and over the course of 6 hours most people drank more than 6 drinks. People tend to set drinks down at weddings and walk away or forget about them, rarely do they go back looking for them rather than just getting another free one.

I come from a large Irish Catholic family and DH's family rarely drinks - but many of them did at the wedding. I think people tend to imbibe at weddings when they otherwise wouldn't.

GL!

kgd7357 · December 2013

I wish we could have done consumption for the reception (per person is $90 for 5 hours after 10% tax and 20% tip). That would be 9 glasses of wine or beer per person or 6 liquor drinks! That is a lot of booze for anyone. Not to mention wine is already included with dinner and so is the champagne toast. I have no doubt my friends will at least get close to making it worth it, but there is no way half the guests are going to drink that much and we are all BIG partiers. Someone did make a good point though that it is no big deal if people don't finish drinks. Don't like the wine? Put it down and get a vodka soda. And the nice thing is no surprise at the end of the night. My venue really can't do it any other way though, since it's a country club the mobile bars are chit bars where your write down what you had and the club bills you (me the member) later (a bit of an honor system). You can't really expect guests to do this at a wedding.

The RD we have both options and we are doing consumption. Every person would need to have 4 liquor drinks to make open bar worth it. If you can put down 4 drinks over a 2 hour dinner, more power to ya, but I doubt this will be the case for most people. Instead we are buying our own wine and paying a corking fee and people will have the option of our pre selected wine (don't want people ordering a $200 bottle of wine off the menu), beer the restaurant offers, or cocktails off their menu.

huskypuppy14 · December 2013

photokitty said:
My brother had a consumption bar - we noticed they had 2 or 3 servers at all times picking up any drinks set down for more than 5 seconds. Hi bar tab was larger than my top shelf per person tab.
I would only do consumption at a brunch or lunch event if I was going to offer full bar. Otherwise I would only do consumption if I was only offering beer and wine. GL!

This is what I would be worried about if we chose a consumption bar. I have the option at my venue, and I think I'd rather pay the per person price just incase the consumption went way over.

monkeysip · December 2013

We had a consumption bar because we were absolutely in love with our venue, and our venue was overall a good value, and consumption bar is their policy.

We were honestly really scared because there are some heavy drinkers in our family, and it drove me nuts worrying about the tab. BUT I didn't see waiters picking up drinks too often, and our open bar tab for 50 adults plus the non-alcoholic drinks for everyone and the 7 children only came to be like $800 (far less than we had estimated with those average drink calculators). I guess we had enough people not drinking to make up for all the drinking. So thats only about $16 per person--probably cheaper than most per-person bar packages in my area.

But that was just my situation. It turned out well for me, but I will say that our venue coordinator was able to give me an average bar estimate based on all the weddings she's seen before. Her estimate was somewhat close but on the high-side.

So if you go with the consumption bar, ask your venue coordinator (assuming he/she's competent and has done many weddings there) to estimate how much weddings of your size have been before.

tcnoble · December 2013

@imhollister my fiancé and I are in the same debate... but it sounds like you have a decent amount of people you expect to drink somewhat heavily. For our venue, it's $35pp for full open bar, and where our guest list is now would run us close to 6k. We looked at our list and discovered there are very few people we expect to drink a lot, so we decided on a consumption bar. We figured if we budget for and anticipate a 6k bar tab, we will be pleasantly surprised if the end of the night we have a tab significantly lower. I definitely agree with the other PPs, see if you can get a price list for beverages. We found the price of cocktails to be lower than we expected based on what we typically pay when we if out, so hopefully this works in our favor! Just have to analyze your guest list and venue and make the best decision you can

cruffino · December 2013

We are doing doing a price per person for both the RD and the wedding. Beer and wine at the RD and full open bar at wedding. I want NO price surprises! And my crowd like to drink so I know what I'm getting into.

I would think twice about whether your FI's family will drink light or not. I don't drink much normally, but when I go to a wedding, I'm likely to drink quite a bit for the special occasion.

syoun1nj · December 2013

photokitty said:

My brother had a consumption bar - we noticed they had 2 or 3 servers at all times picking up any drinks set down for more than 5 seconds. Hi bar tab was larger than my top shelf per person tab.
I would only do consumption at a brunch or lunch event if I was going to offer full bar. Otherwise I would only do consumption if I was only offering beer and wine. GL!

THIS. All my drinks disappeared at my wedding. We did open bar, so it didn't matter, but I had a fresh drink all the time and didn't get half through any of them, You know your guests better. Our open bar was a great deal (apps, buffet dinner, full open bar - $60/person) so it was a no brainer for us.

Whats the open bar price? What does each drink cost at the consumption bar?

phira · December 2013

We're doing a by-consumption limited open bar (full open bar will cost us $4500 so we put our eyes back in their sockets, picked our jaws off the floor, and brainstormed some alternatives).

Basically, house liquor and a limited selection of beers and wines will be available, and we will pay for everyone's drinks (we give them our credit card). It's cheaper than a full open bar. We're having about 120 guests as well, and there are a bunch of non-drinkers and light drinkers (myself included). We're also inadvertently limiting alcohol consumption because we're getting married on a Sunday afternoon (and we might not be able to afford shuttle service to a hotel).

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

phira said:

We're doing a by-consumption limited open bar (full open bar will cost us $4500 so we put our eyes back in their sockets, picked our jaws off the floor, and brainstormed some alternatives).

Basically, house liquor and a limited selection of beers and wines will be available, and we will pay for everyone's drinks (we give them our credit card). It's cheaper than a full open bar. We're having about 120 guests as well, and there are a bunch of non-drinkers and light drinkers (myself included). We're also inadvertently limiting alcohol consumption because we're getting married on a Sunday afternoon (and we might not be able to afford shuttle service to a hotel).

@phira -- DH wanted to do a shuttle service from the country club where our reception was being held to the hotel where we had blocked rooms. I refused. For starters, the ONLY people it would have served would have been his friends.

The way our guest list broke down, most of "my" side were older couples who lived locally and wouldn't drink much. "His" side was mostly friends who like to get rowdy. 'Til we got through the list of who was and wasn't coming, it was fewer than 10 people who *might* have needed the shuttle.

I was like, "We are not paying $300 to rent a shuttle for fewer than 10 people. No way."

He said, 'But if they drink too much, how will they get back to the hotel?"

I said, "The bartenders will (a) cut them off and (b) call them a cab."

He said, "But then how will they get their cars the next day?"
I said, "They will call another cab. Cabs run both ways."

I know DH's friends -- when there's a shuttle, they drink more than if they have to drive themselves or arrange for a DD.

He kind of balked at first, until he saw the mark-up prices on the beer and wine for the country club -- then he was all about putting the money we would have spent on a shuttle toward other things, like alcohol.

In the end, it worked out better without the shuttle -- his friends stayed until the reception ended, which was 30 minutes after last call, so they had all had time to sober up.

JoanE2012 · December 2013

I would rather pay one flat fee (known expense) and know it's all included than to worry about a potentially high consumption bill (fear of the unknown!).

phira · December 2013

@hisgirlfriday13 I completely get that and agree 100%. The point of the evening is to celebrate someone's marriage, not to get as shitfaced as possible on the host's dollar. So if people can't drink as much because we didn't provide a shuttle, GOOD. We can spend that money on more alcohol or even better, more appetizers, desserts, and late night snacks.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

@phira It totally worked for us! DH was surprised to see his friends stay (relatively) sober (or arrange DDs). He actually said to one of them, 'I didn't know you could do that!' The friend said, 'Only when I have to. If you'd had a shuttle, I would have gotten shit-faced.'

DH was then forced to admit the wisdom of my choice not to have a shuttle.

indianaalum · December 2013

The problem to consider with consumption bar is a person might only drink 3 drinks, but if they put it down to dance or something, they usually have no problem going back up to the bar and getting a new only purely because they have no idea you are paying PER DRINK .That might add up quick.

I would be inclined to pay the "per person" rate simply because you know up front what to expect and won't have to stress all night if you see people wasting drinks or doing copious amounts of shots. I personally think you will feel more relaxed.

Also, if it is consumption, do they charge for soft drinks? If so, that also could add up

happyfor25 · December 2013

indianaalum said:

The problem to consider with consumption bar is a person might only drink 3 drinks, but if they put it down to dance or something, they usually have no problem going back up to the bar and getting a new only purely because they have no idea you are paying PER DRINK .That might add up quick.

I would be inclined to pay the "per person" rate simply because you know up front what to expect and won't have to stress all night if you see people wasting drinks or doing copious amounts of shots. I personally think you will feel more relaxed.

Also, if it is consumption, do they charge for soft drinks? If so, that also could add up

This is a very good point. My brother and his wife had a consumption bar (brother really wanted open bar but wife and her parents, at the advice of the venue coordinator, decided to go with consumption). I, and most of the other guests on our side, assumed it was a per-person open bar and thought nothing of sitting a drink down and going back for a fresh one. We also did a LOT of shots. We would have never been so inconsiderate had we known they were paying per drink. The bar bill was apparently more than double what it would have been had they opted for the per person open bar. I felt awful for contributing to the cost.

huskypuppy14 · December 2013

happyfor25 said:

indianaalum said:

The problem to consider with consumption bar is a person might only drink 3 drinks, but if they put it down to dance or something, they usually have no problem going back up to the bar and getting a new only purely because they have no idea you are paying PER DRINK .That might add up quick.

I would be inclined to pay the "per person" rate simply because you know up front what to expect and won't have to stress all night if you see people wasting drinks or doing copious amounts of shots. I personally think you will feel more relaxed.

Also, if it is consumption, do they charge for soft drinks? If so, that also could add up

This is a very good point. My brother and his wife had a consumption bar (brother really wanted open bar but wife and her parents, at the advice of the venue coordinator, decided to go with consumption). I, and most of the other guests on our side, assumed it was a per-person open bar and thought nothing of sitting a drink down and going back for a fresh one. We also did a LOT of shots. We would have never been so inconsiderate had we known they were paying per drink. The bar bill was apparently more than double what it would have been had they opted for the per person open bar. I felt awful for contributing to the cost.

See they venue coordinator wanted more money for the venue. But you shouldn't feel bad. The bride and groom should have had "no shots' put in their contract. That's their fault. But why would you not finish your drink. I never understand this. I hate waiting for a drink at the bar, so I usually always finish my drink, unless it's watery or I didn't like it.

ootmother2 · December 2013

DD had a consumption bar as that's all the country club offered. The wedding coordinator said to estimate $29 per person. The final bar tab was $54 per person. ouch!

CMGragain · December 2013

The consumption bar worked well for daughter's wedding, but half of the guests were Asian, who did not drink alcohol. It was also a daytime wedding, so nobody wanted to get drunk in the early afternoon. It depends on the circumstances.

labro · December 2013

Thanks everyone for your input! My FI and I visited the venue yesterday and their full bar prices turned out to be very reasonable...even for their premium and top shelf bar selections. We're not going with the venue for other reasons but I felt better going in with some knowledge of a consumption bar.

NER - Consumption Bar?

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