Wedding Gifts should they be for both people or just one

melissanjoe21 · December 2013

Would you be offended if you got a gift as a wedding gift that excluded one of you.

For instance your new SIL or MIL buying a wedding gift (not shower gift) buying a gift that would be only for the groom he would use hobby or activity that the new wife doesn't do.

MayDay513 · December 2013

melissanjoe21 said:

Would you be offended if you got a gift as a wedding gift that excluded one of you.

For instance your new SIL or MIL buying a wedding gift (not shower gift) buying a gift that would be only for the groom he would use hobby or activity that the new wife doesn't do.

What is the gift? Like golf clubs? I think if my DH got something that he could use as a hobby and it was a thoughtful gift, I could appreciate it.

doeydo · December 2013

I think it should be something for the couple to use, not just for the one person. However, if my FI and I received a gift from someone that was more for just him, I would still send a thank you note and everything.

ktjanesmom · December 2013

What if the bride got a sewing box and supplies? Yes I think that would be weird if the gift was just for one of them. Unless of course the groom likes to mend his own socks.

NYCBruin · December 2013

A gift it still a gift. But I would find it very strange to get a gift like that.

Rebl90 · December 2013

It would be a little strange to me, but if it's coming from his family to him, then I could understand a little bit. It would make more sense for them to call it a Christmas or birthday present for him, but to each his own.

chibiyui · December 2013

I think it depends on the hobby/gift. It is a bit strange the way its put but I think it depends on context.

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

I very much think it depends on context.

Why do I think that your FMIL and FMIL bought your FI something and you are resentful?

And why do I think you're reading into this gift some imagined slight that doesn't exist, but you want to make exist to start drama?

With both of the showers I had, the gifts were largely for me: kitchen stuff, china, etc. If someone had bought DH a putter, I wouldn't have objected.

photokitty · December 2013

I would not be offended. As hisgirlfriday13 said, most the china and housewares were more for me. I typically select something i know my brothers will like when selecting shower and wedding gifts for them. I certainly never did this to offend thier wives.

phira · December 2013

I think it would depend on the context. For example, if one of my partner's friends gets a gift that's really just for my fiance, then I don't think I would be too bothered. I don't know a lot of his friends, and so it would be more of a, "Congratulations, friend, on getting married!" and not, "Congratulations, happy couple, on getting married!" from someone who doesn't know me anyway.

If it was a gift from family members who know both of us (like from my mom or from his brothers), I'd be a bit miffed. But there's very little I can think of that would be a gift for just him. For Christmas this year, we got a BUNCH of bar glassware that was really just for him (I don't drink very much), but I felt like it was for our kitchen, so it was appropriate.

MobKaz · December 2013

melissanjoe21 said:

Would you be offended if you got a gift as a wedding gift that excluded one of you.

For instance your new SIL or MIL buying a wedding gift (not shower gift) buying a gift that would be only for the groom he would use hobby or activity that the new wife doesn't do.

This sounds like much ado about nothing. My daughter never touches coffee. Her husband injects it into his veins. Two of their shower gifts were a coffee maker and a coffee bean grinder. Roasting beans is his hobby. No one "read" any sinister or ulterior motive into the gifts. In fact, an aunt from our side of the family gifted them.

I gifted my daughter a pair of earrings at the shower. Neither the groom to be or any member of his family felt that gift was any type of "slight" to the groom.

It sounds as if you are reading into something that simply isn't there.

lovesclimbing · December 2013

H received a splitting maul (used for chopping firewood). I was not offended in the least.

GrrArgh · December 2013

We specifically put things on our registry that clearly would be for his use or my use (a valet for him and a jewelry box for myself as an example) and a few other misc things here and there. I'd not think twice about anyone sending something that was specifically geared towards one of us or the other. Ultimately in the end its kind of the person giving to send/give us anything whatsoever, and in the case of a spouse specific item, it will bring your spouse joy what's the problem?

kmmssg · December 2013

I think context is a big part of the equation. Yeah china and kitchen stuff may be primarily for the bride but it contributes to the "good of the family." Same thing with a wood maul. It's mainly for the guy but, again, it contributes to the "good of the family."

My son is an avid gamer. If he were to marry a woman who hates gaming and received gaming stuff as a wedding gift I would consider that inappropriate. Kind of a lame example but it's early, I have to go to work in a minute, and I haven't had my coffee.

My husband is a computer geek of the highest magnitude. It is his hobby. I would not be pleased if our wedding gifts consisted of computer guts for his hobby.

kgd7357 · December 2013

My FI once suggested we give a couple football tickets since his buddy really wanted to go to a certain game later that season, because he wanted a "creative" and personal gift. I nixed it because it had NOTHING to do with the girl we knew quite well. We got a cheese board off their registry and paired it with wine that we brought back from a recent trip so it was more personal. Now if something is on the registry and it is geared to one person or another, I say go for it. Then the couple as mutually agreed to put in on there.

Amyzen83 · December 2013

Honestly, I think it depends on what's on the registry. I know that there are definitely gifts on there targeted more towards one person than another. Example, my sister registered for a poka dotted tea set. I don't think her FI drinks much tea but I got it for them as a Christmas gift, but I know my sister will probably use it more than he does.

If your FI's family got him a gift that was more targeted towards him, I don't see anything wrong with it, and they should still get a nice thank-you card, but not something I'd get offended over.

Inkdancer · December 2013

Totally depends.

My parents bought a tool set for my fiance. Although it was not for me, it will help him fix things in our house, so I thanked them too. My mom's best friend bought me a cake stand because I love to bake, but FI gets to eat the sweets I make, so he thanked her also. Those things are geared toward one of us, but they benefit both of us, and are therefore perfectly appropriate.

However, if someone bought clothes for FI or craft supplies for me, that would be too skewed to one person, and so would probably be weird.

Lily9911 · December 2013

melissanjoe21 said:

Would you be offended if you got a gift as a wedding gift that excluded one of you.

For instance your new SIL or MIL buying a wedding gift (not shower gift) buying a gift that would be only for the groom he would use hobby or activity that the new wife doesn't do.

What was the gift?

Teddy917 · December 2013

My grandmother (a very old-fashioned woman, not that that's a bad thing) got us a seeing machine that she obviously meant for me. NBD that's just the way she is. Funny twist, I don't have time with my work schedule to sew but H is excited to make a quilt with it. So it ended up being more for him then me.

Wedding Gifts should they be for both people or just one

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