My SO and I have been dating for four years. During that time, his mother has been...less than kind. It seemed that every time we visited them, or vice versa, she found something new to dislike about me, which she would then call complain about to him later. She'd talk over me in conversations (I've always been rather shy and she's very type A) and tell him she thought I was too quiet, then say I was rude and pushy if I tried to get a word in edgewise. I just couldn't win.
This isn't a problem unique to me - all of her children's boy/girlfriends have been met with similar criticisms. In fact, I'm supposedly the best of the bunch; she hates his older sister's husband with a fiery passion. I guess it's just a matter of nobody being good enough for her babies. So, whatever. I've spent a lot of time trying to cater to her, but decided I'd never be what/who she wants and it would be healthier for me just to be myself. It's caused some serious doubts for me, but I've resigned myself gotten used to it, and I came to the conclusion that I could deal with her and her hostility (as long as we live in different states!)
What weirds me out, though, is that the second the ring was on my finger she decided to be all...nice. Or her version of nice, I guess. We haven't even been engaged for a month but suddenly every time she talks to us on the phone she ends with "I love you" and then sits and waits for me to say it back and frankly it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't think it's fair for her to be rude to me for so long and then suddenly turn around and be all affectionate and expect me to reciprocate. She un-earned my love, and I don't think she can just expect me to give it back.
Am I totally off base on this?