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Registering and Gifts

Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette

Hi!

We are getting married in a few weeks and are already receiving Honeyfund gifts (dinners, massages, paddle boards rentals, etc.) for our honeymoon! We know we're supposed to send thank yous immediately for regular gifts if they arrive early, but what's the protocol for Honeyfund? Should we send a thank you, even if we haven't gone on the honeymoon yet?

Thanks for any advice!

Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette

  • What ever they contributed to write a thank you note and say that you're looking forward doing (whatever they purchased) on your honeymoon.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:c7685292-9a83-426e-92f0-c5b2f0926e60">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]What ever they contributed to write a thank you note and say that you're looking forward doing (whatever they purchased) on your honeymoon.
    Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you! That sounds great.</div>
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2012
    Why are you worried about etiquette now when you clearly didn't care about it when you decided to make a honeymoon registry?
     
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  • I would thank them for their gift, and tell them that you are looking forward to your dinner/massage/whatever.  This seems like the most polite thing to do.  You do know that you're not going to ACTUALLY get the dinner, the massage, or the paddle-board rental, right?  
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  • If your honeymoon isn't too far away, you could wait, and then afterward include a picture of doing whatever it is they purchased for you included with the note.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:77803119-d458-4e0a-9a1b-aa71eef9ed9d">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would thank them for their gift, and tell them that you are looking forward to your dinner/massage/whatever.  This seems like the most polite thing to do. 
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    i agree with this.

    and to add. i don't see anything wrong with the honeymoon fund. a lot of peopel now have learned material items don't mean as much as memories. and lots of people are happy to help you have the memories over the cluttered mess and headache that comes with material items.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:d949fa28-165d-4f29-9c46-8013d8776cf2">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette : i agree with this. and to add.<strong> i don't see anything wrong with the honeymoon fund. a lot of peopel now have learned material items don't mean as much as memories. and lots of people are happy to help you have the memories over the cluttered mess and headache that comes with material items.</strong>
    Posted by metalotaku[/QUOTE]


    I agree with this. I don't feel strongly enough on the matter to argue it, but I don't see the problem. Most people don't see it as a issue and even those who know it's a touchy subject won't care. HM Registries aren't asking for stuff anymore than traditional ones are, IMO.

    That said, I agree with the previous posters. Wait until you come back and send pictures of you eating dinner or whatever with a heartfelt thankyou.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:3df19449-a683-47f4-a0d7-af3c44deff61">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette : I agree with this. I don't feel strongly enough on the matter to argue it, but I don't see the problem. Most people don't see it as a issue and even those who know it's a touchy subject won't care.<strong> HM Registries aren't asking for stuff anymore than traditional ones are, IMO</strong>. That said, I agree with the previous posters. Wait until you come back and send pictures of you eating dinner or whatever with a heartfelt thankyou.
    Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

    A registry is not meant to be "asking for stuff", it is meant as a suggestion of what the couple may want or need, for those who wish to give a physical gift.  Everybody wants/needs cash.  As I'm sure you know, with a HM registry the giver is not buying you an excursion, they are giving you cash (with a cut taken by the company).  I don't understand how anyone cannot see the issue with that.  For example, let's say you have a Macy's registry.  I'm shopping online and see something I'd like to purchase for you.  I add it to the cart and checkout.  I think that I bought you a beautiful serving platter for $100, it reminds me of the one your grandmother used to have, yadda yadda yadda.  In reality, you get a check in the mail for $93.  Why bother registering?  Just skip the "registry", people will very likely give you cash anyway, and spend that on your HM (or however you choose).  Bonus: you get to keep the whole $100.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:7c2c5bda-e7ef-465a-be27-0dad8fd94173">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I really don't mind HM registeries. Emily Post says that as long as you have both a traditional and a HM registery, you're good to go and I can agree with that logic so long as the couple will use the money for the outing or dinner or whatever it is for. OP I'd either send a TY right now, thanking them for the experience as you're sure it will be fanstatic or send it after the HM (if it isn't too far away) and include a picture. <strong>I'd really love a picture of you enjoying whatever experience I bought you.</strong>
    Posted by laurelrenee1[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's the problem.  The recipient DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET whatever it is that the giver THINKS they are giving!   The only way to get the dinner or the dolphin swim or whatever is for them to pay for the rest of it themselves.   Maybe the couple has the money to do this, and maybe they don't (if they did, I don't see why they would "register" for it in the first place).   </div>
    DSC_9275
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:9d4f473a-36a6-4eb5-9011-7f49c3f3dd68">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette : I don't like honeymoon registries, but I can't completely agree with this logic.  There is nothing on our (or most couples who aren't coming into marriage straight from their parents homes or have lived on their own prior their wedding) traditional registries that we "need."  Sure, I'd love to get the stemware, china and flatware we registered for, but those are most certainly wants, arguably luxurious ones at that, and definitely not needs.
    Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

    seriously here. i've been on my own for 2 years and bought my own place, before i met my man and fixed it my self. and stocked it myself. my so moved in with me already and we added his stuff to mine doubling our belongings. we don't want more stuff we don't need. we are trying to par down what we have already. some poeple don't want all the junk they won't use.

    this isn't the 1950's poeple aren't getting married to get out of mommy and daddy's house. most are in established setup living postions and are intergratings house holds.

    and no ones in denial that asking for stuff is any different than asking for money. let's face it half the stuff will be returned for the cash anyway. people are just skipping that step to avoid hard feelings of oh you didn't like those plates i picked out.

    and plates and are needed, not fancy expensive china, or fancy steamware. plastic plates and cups work just fine. oh yeah and don't break.

    all of it is wants, and poeple can choose to give you what they want. money or other wise. but most would i'm sure rather give you something they know you'd use and enjoy.
    hellosociety
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:38ca988b-2c86-4fda-9957-3aee320079bb">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why are you worried about etiquette now when you clearly didn't care about it when you decided to make a honeymoon registry?
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.
    Praying for a miracle!
  • I really want to know who these people are that spend hours of their time registering only to want to return.

    The only things that went back were extras.   The other stuff that we received off our registry we kept - because you know, we REGISTERED FOR IT.
  • rockinbrerockinbre member
    10 Comments
    edited November 2012
    Thanks to all of you who gave sincere advice. We will send thank yous right away and also follow up with a postcard or photo of what they bought us. Much appreciated!

    To those of you who only bothered to comment to criticize us for registering on Honeyfund (we also have store registries, but the point is moot), I'm sorry that you felt the need to respond just to be nasty. I didn't ask for a discussion on whether you approved of our registry, and I frankly don't care that you don't.

    Our family and friends have actually really enjoyed perusing our Honeyfund, and we've received lots of excited emails and phone calls regarding it. 

    Knottie46512860
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:d178a123-8c24-405c-bfe2-feb5f2579fac">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks to all of you who gave sincere advice. We will send thank yous right away and also follow up with a postcard of photo of what they bought us. Much appreciated! To those of you who only bothered to comment to criticize us for registering on Honeyfund (we also have store registries, but the point is moot), I'm sorry that you felt the need to respond just to be nasty. I didn't ask for a discussion on whether you approved of our registry, and I frankly don't care that you don't. Our family and friends have actually really enjoyed perusing our Honeyfund, and we've received lots of excited emails and phone calls regarding it. 
    Posted by rockinbre[/QUOTE]
    you go girl. you and your family is what matters on that one. and i hope you have fun on your honeymoon. and i'm sure your family and freinds will enjoy the pics you share with them.
  • rockinbrerockinbre member
    10 Comments
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:a57db03d-7753-41ad-8929-8c3a6f94803e">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette : you go girl. you and your family is what matters on that one. and i hope you have fun on your honeymoon. and i'm sure your family and freinds will enjoy the pics you share with them.
    Posted by metalotaku[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you!! We are very excited. Best wishes to you too!</div>
  • Agreed on the posts above regarding timing of thank you's.  I have a Honeyfund as well and plan to send Thank You's after the Bridal Shower when I receive the gift.  Then when I send out the Wedding Thank You's I plan to include a picture from our Honeymoon with the activity our guest purchased for us.

    Just for the record, yes you receive cash for the gifts since these websites are not travel agents.  It is up to the individual to book the trips.  Please do not assume that we are all horrible people and "stealling" our friends and families money.  If you use the money for it's intended purpose it is a great idea for those of use who don't need traditional registry gifts.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:eed0955e-7e9c-4711-98d8-60df052202b6">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Agreed on the posts above regarding timing of thank you's.  I have a Honeyfund as well and plan to send Thank You's after the Bridal Shower when I receive the gift.  Then when I send out the Wedding Thank You's I plan to include a picture from our Honeymoon with the activity our guest purchased for us. Just for the record, yes you receive cash for the gifts since these websites are not travel agents.  It is up to the individual to book the trips.  Please do not assume that we are all horrible people and "stealling" our friends and families money.  If you use the money for it's intended purpose it is a great idea for those of use who don't need traditional registry gifts.
    Posted by Ctrossello[/QUOTE]

    It has nothing to do with the bride and groom "stealing" the money.  The problem comes with the fees associated with registry. Wouldn't you rather get a $100 check directly from a relative or have someone take a percentage and send you a check for $93.
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:d178a123-8c24-405c-bfe2-feb5f2579fac">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks to all of you who gave sincere advice. We will send thank yous right away and also follow up with a postcard or photo of what they bought us. Much appreciated! <strong>To those of you who only bothered to comment to criticize us for registering on Honeyfund (we also have store registries, but the point is moot), I'm sorry that you felt the need to respond just to be nasty. I didn't ask for a discussion on whether you approved of our registry, and I frankly don't care that you don't. Our family and friends have actually really enjoyed perusing our Honeyfund, and we've received lots of excited emails and phone calls regarding it. </strong>
    Posted by rockinbre[/QUOTE]

    Last time I checked you posted on a public forum. People can respond however they want to.  No one was nasty to you, we just didn't validate your horrible idea. Next time someone calls you up excited about your Honeyfund make sure you tell them the truth- the company will be taking a percentage of their gift to you. I bet they woun't be so excited then.
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeyfund-thank-you-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5f548331-4990-4322-bdc3-32566be6e1cfPost:1c9d03ed-9a6d-46a3-813f-d967ffda9a47">Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeyfund Thank You Etiquette : It has nothing to do with the bride and groom "stealing" the money.  The problem comes with the fees associated with registry. Wouldn't you rather get a $100 check directly from a relative or have someone take a percentage and send you a check for $93.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, the fee part stinks, I agree with that completely.  I don't want our guests to pay the fee and I don't want to necessarily pay it either.  But just like tax, or fees associated with any site either the guest or bride/groom has to pay them.  The site I used gave me an option of how I wanted to set it up.  </div><div>
    </div><div>At the end of  the day, the registry is supposed to be about what the couple wants.  I would love to spend a day at the Spa on my honeymoon but am not going to spend the money on it ahead of time.  If someone wants to gift this to me, you bet I will be at the Spa...which is wayyyyy better then a cheese plate ;)</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
  • OMG people need to get REAL. We are a young couple just starting out, fresh out of grad school... I don't need a china or a toaster, I'm in $200,000 worth of debt to begin with! I'm only inviting people who want what's best for me, and that money to help pay down debt. It's not rude to ask the people who love you the most in the world for help in starting your life and family off on the right foot. GET REAL.
  • Agreed. And just an FYI, you can still have friends and family pay by check or cash with honeyfund registries. This way you get 100 % of the gift while having it deducted off your registry. We find this option useful because it allows us to use the gifts to make reservations for our honeymoon before the wedding. We have also received positive feedback from all of our friends and family.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Agreed. And just an FYI, you can still have friends and family pay by check or cash with honeyfund registries. This way you get 100 % of the gift while having it deducted off your registry. We find this option useful because it allows us to use the gifts to make reservations for our honeymoon before the wedding. We have also received positive feedback from all of our friends and family.
    You are responding to a thread that is over a year old.  This thread is dead.  
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Agreed. And just an FYI, you can still have friends and family pay by check or cash with honeyfund registries. This way you get 100 % of the gift while having it deducted off your registry. We find this option useful because it allows us to use the gifts to make reservations for our honeymoon before the wedding. We have also received positive feedback from all of our friends and family.
    If you can't afford to make reservations on your own before the wedding and are relying on gifts, perhaps you should take a closer look at your finances and budget.


    doeydoMNVegas
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Honeyfund and other cash registries are poor etiquette, so there really is not etiquette appropriate way to handle the thank you note.  It's like trying to come up with a nice way to tell someone she's ugly.  It's just not possible to do a mean thing in a nice way.  

    If you truly care about being polite, you will cancel this registry immediately.  

    If you insist on using this rude registry, send the thank you note right away, but understand that it is never going to be in line with etiquette.  You may be upset that people here pointed out how rude this registry is, but keep in mind that your guests will be thinking the same thing.  The people here are just trying to help you avoid embarrassing yourself with this horribly rude move.  
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @KnotPorscha, a lock please? This thread is over a year old.
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