Invitation mishap, what would you do?

GrrArgh · January 2014

We realized today that a very sweet lady and friend of my parents (who happens to live next door to them) somehow got missed on the invitation list. My mom wants me to hand deliver an invitation/explanation to her to correct this. I personally have no issues physically doing this, I just am not sure how to do this without her thinking we've B listed her. The wedding is in 9 days.

s-aries8990 · January 2014

I'd just be honest - at this point she may think that you did and there's nothing you can really do about it (but then again, she may understand that it is a simple mistake).

Did you try to contact her when her RSVP didn't come it? If you did, then she may not think you tried to B-list her, but if you DIDN'T, she may feel like a B-list.

Can you blame it on bridal brain and bring over a batch of cookies or bottle of wine or something?

Ven&Radio · January 2014

I think I'd try to blame it on the invitation getting lost in the mail if at all possible.

kmmssg · January 2014

Don't lie about it. A couple of years ago my nephew got married and my bio DD's are stepcousins in this family. They have always been treated like everyone else.

I was asked for their addresses by my SIL the MOG. She gave them to FOG to add onto the spreadsheet but life happened and he forgot. We know all too well how difficult the guest list can be so when they didn't get invitations we didn't get our panties in a wad about it.

SIL called less than 48 hours before the wedding (my hunch is she was doing the seating chart maybe?), mortified and embarrassed and apologizing all over herself. I called my girls, told them what happened, they got sitters and we had a great time at the wedding. Just as brides and grooms must be diligent in how they treat their guests, guests must be diligent to acknowledge a mistake and be gracious about it.

Just go visit her, fall on your sword, own that a mistake was made and WARMLY invite her to your wedding. If she is truly a very sweet lady like you say she is, she will probably be quite gracious about it and see if she can come.

ALSO - if the invitation truly did get lost in the mail YOU would have no idea that happened unless it was returned to you. Since you don't have a returned invitation to present to her DON'T LIE ABOUT IT.

GrrArgh · January 2014

Oh I have no intentions of fibbing (who does that?) She never got an invitation, as in we literally never sent her one. Gremlins in the computer or wtf ever happen I don't know but her name got completely dropped from the list somehow and we just noticed it last night. I'm just trying to figure out the best approach so it gets expressed that this is a mistake vs b-list crap.

kmmssg · January 2014

Damn gremlins!

AddieCake · January 2014

I agree just go over, apologize profusely, and give her an invitation.

princessleia22 · January 2014

Just go and be honest. Tell her that you had always intended to invite her and you just don't know how it got missed. Wedding planning is crazy and hectic and things happen. But you are very sorry about the late notice and sincerely hope that she can attend. And bringing cookies or something wouldn't hurt. People don't deliver b-list invites with cookies and apologies.

No matter what you say, she could think she was b-listed and there isn't really much you can do to prevent that. Even if you say she was on the original guest list she may think you are lying. Or she may believe that it was just an honest mistake and not think badly at all. If she's as sweet as you say, I'm sure she will give you the benefit of the doubt.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

@kmmssg: I agree with everything you said except the returned invites part. We had two invites get lost in the mail (I absolutely mailed them, those people were absolutely on the list), and the guests didn't get them, but they never came back to us.

In both cases, we contacted the guests after the RSVP'D date and asked if they were coming. They both said they hadn't gotten invites, but they had gotten our STDates, so they had marked off the day of the wedding and were planning to attend.

Damn USPS.

Invitation mishap, what would you do?

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