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No kids issue

karlipreglerkarlipregler member
100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So in conversation with my MOH today, she was surprised to hear that I was letting my flower girl come to our reception (since she's part of the wedding I thought it would be rude not to), and also letting my FI's groomsman bring his 4 month old daughter to our wedding. We aren't having kids, but he is coming with his girlfriend from Georgia and will be staying with us. Also, his girlfriend is breastfeeding and I know she won't leave her daughter alone.

MOH was also surprised I didn't put "no kids allowed" on my wedding invitations. She said people will probably be mad if they see other kids there and couldn't bring theirs. I had read up on here about how that's considered poor etiquette, and how you simply should just address the invitations to those who are invited and people will understand. 

So here are my questions: Should I be concerned that I'm letting these 2 kids come and other people can't bring their kids? Also, should I be concerned about not putting "no kids allowed" on the invitations? Or am I over thinking it and people will understand?

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Re: No kids issue

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Nope, you shouldn't be the least bit worried about it. You've done the right thing.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    You have done nothing wrong here! It would be very rude to have a flower girl and then not allow her to attend the reception, which is a thank you to all your guests for being a part of your day. Putting "no kids" on your invitation would have been much more impolite.

    Some people may be hurt that you didn't invite their children. But that is their problem, not yours. You invited the children you wanted there, and that's fine.
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  • karlipreglerkarlipregler member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Thank you all! Your reassurance helps a ton! I felt like I did something wrong when she was talking about it. I can't imagine telling my FI's groomsman, "Sorry you're driving all the way up here, but you can't bring your daughter and your girlfriend is going to have to pump so someone else can feed your kid." Like, no. Not happening. Plus I'm dying to see this cute bundle of love they made!

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You are fine. Putting "no kids" on a wedding invitation is rude and tacky. You're allowed to invite just the children you are close to (the flower girl and Gm's kid). 
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    The only kids at our wedding were either related to us, in the wedding (and also related to us), or infants.

    None of our other guests with kids expressed any concern as to why these kids were invited and theirs weren't. The line was pretty clear, and they understood it.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You're doing fine.

    You are not required to explain to others why some kids are invited and some are not, but as you noted, it's also not okay to put "adults only" on the invitation.
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  • BelthilBelthil member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    You're 100% in the right here. If other people have a problem that they couldn't bring their own kids then it's their problem, not yours.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yup, if someone has a problem because the flower girl and the groomsman's daughter are invited, and their special snowflake isn't, then that's their problem. 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You did fine, we did something similar. We allowed the kids of our bridal party (which most of them are in their late teens to mid twenties) but they are also our nephews & nieces. As for young kids, my niece brought her two young kids, the youngest was about 4 months old & she was still breast feeding (my niece lives 12 hours away & came in for wedding) so very similar to your GM situation. If anyone had any problems with it, I didn't hear about it of course. But most of the people that had younger kids that were local, were happy to have an adult night out.
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  • karlipreglerkarlipregler member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    laurynm84 said:
    Yup, if someone has a problem because the flower girl and the groomsman's daughter are invited, and their special snowflake isn't, then that's their problem. 
    LOL! "Special snowflake" definitely gave me a good laugh! Thanks!

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