Small venue invite troubles-- help!

Re: Small venue invite troubles-- help!

• mrsbanany member

  

  January 2014

  I am having a similar problem but with the reception. I have a summer home on a beach and I have always wanted to get married there but my FI has a HUGE family and we simply cannot fit everyone there.  We have thought about making a much smaller guest list but we feel bad about excluding family just so we can have the venue we want.  Honestly, in situations like this you may just have to make the sacrifice and have the ceremony elsewhere just like I have to sacrifice and have the reception elsewhere.  

  
  

  Have you thought of other ways to include it? Perhaps having a mass or vow renewal on your 1yr anniversary with just close family and friends?  

  Report0 Reply
• manateehugger member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  ChristiePearce said:

  Hello all! I have a bit of a quandary about what to do about a small venue and a big guest list. It has been my dream since I was a little girl to be married at the Ida Cason Memorial Chapel in Callaway Gardens, Pine Mountain (my fiance loves it as well, we both grew up visiting the gardens). The only problem is that we have over 150 people that really should be a part of our big day, but the chapel seats 65 maximum. I have toyed with the idea of live-streaming the ceremony to the reception site (which we haven't selected) and having appetizers for the 90-odd guests that won't fit in the chapel, but how do you do that without offending anyone? I have thought about only inviting immediate family, but there are many people I consider to be closer to us than family that we would prefer to attend the ceremony. Anyone done something along these lines before or have any ideas? We are a little stumped!

  You don't. 

  
  

  Unfortunately, I think your options are limited here if you have your heart set on this chapel. You either cut your guest list to 65 or you have an intimate ceremony (usually 20 or less and you don't have to invite family over friends who are closer). 

  
  

  There's no way to invite half your guests to the reception only and not offend them. 

  

  Report3 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  January 2014

  You need to decide whether family and friends, or a venue, is more important.  

  
  

  Amandaj offers an excellent alternative that offends no one.

  Report1 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  ChristiePearce said:

  Hello all! I have a bit of a quandary about what to do about a small venue and a big guest list. It has been my dream since I was a little girl to be married at the Ida Cason Memorial Chapel in Callaway Gardens, Pine Mountain (my fiance loves it as well, we both grew up visiting the gardens). The only problem is that we have over 150 people that really should be a part of our big day, but the chapel seats 65 maximum. I have toyed with the idea of live-streaming the ceremony to the reception site (which we haven't selected) and having appetizers for the 90-odd guests that won't fit in the chapel, but how do you do that without offending anyone? I have thought about only inviting immediate family, but there are many people I consider to be closer to us than family that we would prefer to attend the ceremony. Anyone done something along these lines before or have any ideas? We are a little stumped!

  I am sorry to have to tell you this, but you need to let go of the little girl wedding fantasy.  You are an adult and you are expected to treat your guests in a grown up fashion.  That means that everybody who is invited to the reception must also be invited to the ceremony.  No A and B lists, like you are describing!  Doing that would be very rude!
  There are several choices for you:
  1.  Find a venue that will accommodate everyone for both your wedding ceremony and your reception.  Let go of the chapel fantasy.
  2.  You can have a PRIVATE ceremony - immediate family only - followed by a large reception.  Don't be surprised if you get a lot of people who decide not to attend.  Many people will be disappointed not to see your ceremony.
  3.  Limit your guests to those who can be at the actual ceremony - 65.  Everybody who is at the ceremony will be at the reception.  No B list guests who only get the reception!
  
  Those are your choices.  If that venue is really so important to you, you will just have to cut your guests list.  Personally, I would choose guests over a dream venue from Barbie doll days.
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  January 2014

  amandaj424 said:

  I am having a similar problem but with the reception. I have a summer home on a beach and I have always wanted to get married there but my FI has a HUGE family and we simply cannot fit everyone there.  We have thought about making a much smaller guest list but we feel bad about excluding family just so we can have the venue we want.  Honestly, in situations like this you may just have to make the sacrifice and have the ceremony elsewhere just like I have to sacrifice and have the reception elsewhere.  

  
  

  Have you thought of other ways to include it? Perhaps having a mass or vow renewal on your 1yr anniversary with just close family and friends?  

  Vow renewals are generally done on important anniversaries - like ten years.  They are not second weddings.  Most ladies who have tried this have felt disappointed that they didn't feel the thrill the second time.  I don't recommend this at all.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• JoanE2012 member

  

  January 2014

  ChristiePearce said:

  Hello all! I have a bit of a quandary about what to do about a small venue and a big guest list. It has been my dream since I was a little girl to be married at the Ida Cason Memorial Chapel in Callaway Gardens, Pine Mountain (my fiance loves it as well, we both grew up visiting the gardens). The only problem is that we have over 150 people that really should be a part of our big day, but the chapel seats 65 maximum. I have toyed with the idea of live-streaming the ceremony to the reception site (which we haven't selected) and having appetizers for the 90-odd guests that won't fit in the chapel, but how do you do that without offending anyone? I have thought about only inviting immediate family, but there are many people I consider to be closer to us than family that we would prefer to attend the ceremony. Anyone done something along these lines before or have any ideas? We are a little stumped!

  You don't.

  
  

  Pick what's more important to you....a small guest list and the dream chapel....OR....a larger guest list and a different venue.

  
  

  If it were me, I'd ditch the dream venue and select the best venue in my budget to accommodate all of my friends and family.  People matter more to me than things.
  

  Report0 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  January 2014

   You don't have enough space in that venue for all the guests. Either cut your guest list or find a bigger venue. 

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report0 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2014

  150 guests and a small chapel are just not an option.  You need to choose which option is more important to you: The 90 guests that can't fit in the chapel or the chapel itself.  You can't have both.  

  
  

  If you decide the guests are more important (which most people would) find another venue.  There are other chapels and venues in Pine Mountain.  If the chapel you visited as a child doesn't work, it's time to find something similar that will.  

  Report0 Reply
• ChristiePearce member

  

  January 2014

  I guess I might just have to bite the bullet! It's a tough decision, though. 

  Report0 Reply
• CaliMel11 member

  

  January 2014

  It's hard, but I would say find a bigger place to have it. Think about what it is about the place that you love. Is it the architecture? The setting? Look for places that have that same feel to them. I bet you could even ask the chapel themselves if they have any recommendations for similar places that are larger.
  It's so hard to do the guest list, I completely know what you mean. But I think it's more important to be able to invite all the people that would love to celebrate with you if you can! The people are what make the events special.
  

  Report0 Reply
• KittyKaty20 member

  

  January 2014

  I would find a different venue...or, since you and FI grew up visiting the gardens, could you have your ceremony in a different space within the gardens?

  I just checked out the site-it's beautiful-and there are sooooo many options! Most of which can accommodate 150 guests.

  If you grew up attending the chapel, I'd cut my guest list. If it's just "pretty", take some pictures with the chapel in it, and choose one of the other gorgeous options to wed.

  

  Report0 Reply
• ChristiePearce member

  

  January 2014

  Update: we are visiting with Callaway and Oakurst Farms to see which best fits our guest list (which has been reduced to 120 guests). Thanks to everyone for your guidance!

  Report0 Reply