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Wedding Party

Completely confused on bridesmaid issue

My fiance and I have a pretty big wedding party. We have one friend, a gay man, who we're both close to but is better friends with me (the bride). Him and his husband got married two years ago and I was asked to be in their bridal party but they ended up getting married at City Hall and haven't had the reception yet. I know that he wants to be in the bridal party and that another friend of his put him on the girl's side at her wedding. I'd love to have him in it but the bridal party is so big already and the only guy I'm putting in is my little cousin since I'm an only child. I feel like there are other guys that I've been friends with longer who should be in it before him but I do see him more at this point and we are pretty close. I'd rather just keep it as it is but I know it'll end up hurting his feelings. Is there some sort of alternative position that he can help with? Like an usher or something else where he can be included in part of it but maybe not be in the actual wedding party? I'd love to have him and his husband be in a role like that where they can feel special but it'll help keep the party from getting bigger.

Re: Completely confused on bridesmaid issue

  • Bluener said:
    My fiance and I have a pretty big wedding party. We have one friend, a gay man, who we're both close to but is better friends with me (the bride). Him and his husband got married two years ago and I was asked to be in their bridal party but they ended up getting married at City Hall and haven't had the reception yet. I know that he wants to be in the bridal party and that another friend of his put him on the girl's side at her wedding. I'd love to have him in it but the bridal party is so big already and the only guy I'm putting in is my little cousin since I'm an only child. I feel like there are other guys that I've been friends with longer who should be in it before him but I do see him more at this point and we are pretty close. I'd rather just keep it as it is but I know it'll end up hurting his feelings. Is there some sort of alternative position that he can help with? Like an usher or something else where he can be included in part of it but maybe not be in the actual wedding party? I'd love to have him and his husband be in a role like that where they can feel special but it'll help keep the party from getting bigger.
    You should only add people to your WP that you are close with now.  Don't judge by how long you've known someone.  And weddings aren't tit for tat, so just because he asked you to be in his WP, doesn't mean you need to ask him.  If you want him to stand up for you and having another WP member doesn't blow the budget - then ask him.  Don't worry about even sides.  He could also be a reader, usher, or guest is also an honor.
  • Would you be interested in finding a reading for him/his husband? If they're close to you and your FI, you could consider this option.
  • It is quite an honor to be a guest, let him and his husband be guests. Do not stress yourself over someone who has the gall to ask to be in your bridal party. If you'd wanted hin in it, you would have asked him already. He'll get over it.
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