meh invitation wording.

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

So I'm having trouble wording my invitation. I don't want the "your presence is requested at blah blah blah" because I think that is kind of boring, I want to start mine like
Please join
Bride middle last name
&
Groom middle last name
as they (and this is where i get stuck)
I don't know if i want to say like "join together in marriage" or "begin a new chapter in their lives" or something along those lines. Help please, im extremely open to suggestions, especially something unique, i know what i have is pretty cookie cutter but i dont know what to do that isn't too cheesy or boring.

Also, my fiance and i are funding/hosting the whole thing so i didn't plan on mentioning parent names

txcrystal80 · January 2014

Bride and groom, as they take their next step in life as husband and wife, ...as they begin their life as husband and wife Please join.... In celebration of their union... I had trouble with my invitation too. Ours was "bride and groom, together with their parents, request the pleasure of your company at their marriage on...."

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

txcrystal80 said:

Bride and groom, as they take their next step in life as husband and wife, ...as they begin their life as husband and wife Please join.... In celebration of their union... I had trouble with my invitation too. Ours was "bride and groom, together with their parents, request the pleasure of your company at their marriage on...."

I really like "as they take their next step in life as husband and wife"! how would i transition into the date and time and stuff?

CrazyCatLady3 · January 2014

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

Jen4948 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
as they will exchange their marriage vows on are united in marriage
on Saturday, March 22, 2014
at 3 o'clock pm
Venue
Street address
City, State

Invitation wording is not the place to be "unique," "clever," or "original" since it throws guests for a loop and/or comes off as verbal PDA.

The standard wording has built into it the expectation that this is a very happy moment for the couple. There is no need to mention "exchange marriage vows" or "take their next step as husband and wife."

Consider the purpose of the invitation. It's not to show off your egos, it's to convey logistical information about the event to the guests. Let the event itself do the rest.

CrazyCatLady3 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

I think it's much more wording than necessary.

tammym1001 · January 2014

I agree that it's a lot of unnecessary words. I know you like the "take their next step" wording though so if you like it I would leave that in there and take out the "exchange their marriage vows" line. People will know that's what you're doing.

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

tammym1001 said:

I agree that it's a lot of unnecessary words. I know you like the "take their next step" wording though so if you like it I would leave that in there and take out the "exchange their marriage vows" line. People will know that's what you're doing.

I thought it was a lot too, but i wasn't sure. I could probably put 'as they take their next step in life as husband and wife on march blah blah blah'?

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
as they will exchange their marriage vows on are united in marriage
on Saturday, March 22, 2014
at 3 o'clock pm
Venue
Street address
City, State

Invitation wording is not the place to be "unique," "clever," or "original" since it throws guests for a loop and/or comes off as verbal PDA.

The standard wording has built into it the expectation that this is a very happy moment for the couple. There is no need to mention "exchange marriage vows" or "take their next step as husband and wife."

Consider the purpose of the invitation. It's not to show off your egos, it's to convey logistical information about the event to the guests. Let the event itself do the rest.

That is all fine and dandy for your invitation, but this is mine and I want it to say what I want it to say.

tammym1001 · January 2014

I don't think you need all the extra "at" and "on" words. People know that's the information they need to get there so maybe something like this:

The pleasure of your company is requested as
Brides name
and
Grooms name
take their next step in life as husband and wife
Saturday, the twenty second of March

two thousand and fourteen
at three o'clock
Venue Name

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

tammym1001 said:

I don't think you need all the extra "at" and "on" words. People know that's the information they need to get there so maybe something like this:

The pleasure of your company is requested as
Brides name
and
Grooms name
take their next step in life as husband and wife
Saturday, the twenty second of March
two thousand and fourteen
at three o'clock
Venue Name

okay! that makes sense! thanks!

Jen4948 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
as they will exchange their marriage vows on are united in marriage
on Saturday, March 22, 2014
at 3 o'clock pm
Venue
Street address
City, State

Invitation wording is not the place to be "unique," "clever," or "original" since it throws guests for a loop and/or comes off as verbal PDA.

The standard wording has built into it the expectation that this is a very happy moment for the couple. There is no need to mention "exchange marriage vows" or "take their next step as husband and wife."

Consider the purpose of the invitation. It's not to show off your egos, it's to convey logistical information about the event to the guests. Let the event itself do the rest.

That is all fine and dandy for your invitation, but this is mine and I want it to say what I want it to say.

Be prepared for your guests, who unlike yourself are the ones "honored" by this invitation, not to appreciate all the "first step as husband and wife" stuff you want to throw in there; or your "this is mine and I want it to say/be what I want it to say/be" attitude about your wedding.

KittyKaty20 · January 2014

Regardless of "proper" vs. "clever" invitation wording arguments...

What is the feel of your wedding? What kind of event will it be, how do you want your guests to feel?

Let your invitation reflect these things.

JoanE2012 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

MobKaz · January 2014

There are many sites that offer alternative wording......

http://offbeatbride.com/2007/12/wedding-invitation-wording-that-wont-make-you-barf

http://1000threadsblog.com/2012/08/16/wedding-invitation-wording-that-doesnt-suck/

http://www.kissmytulle.com/2012/05/wedding-invitation-alterate-wording.html

You are on a wedding board that promotes proper wedding invitation etiquette. Your invitations are the first introduction your guests have to the tone of your wedding. It signals the formality or lack, to your guests. It is meant to be informative more than clever or different.

mizangi · January 2014

edited: Deleted file and can't get option back to attach. Re-posting as another comment.

manateehugger · January 2014

@mizangi, you might want to black out your full name on that invitation. You don't need random people googling you.

I also agree that if you go nontraditional, it needs to be clear that you are inviting people to an actual wedding ceremony, and not just a celebration of a marriage.

mizangi · January 2014

LOL @PDKH - thanks, I never thought of that. I'm not that interesting anyway.

mizangi · January 2014

I don't know how non-traditional you want to go, but here's what I did for our beach wedding invites. I think I found the poem on offbeatbride or something like that - Google search:

Jen4948 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

You don't have to "like" the traditional wording, but the fact that your wedding is "not as traditional as most" doesn't give you carte blanche to issue something that glorifies your personality at the expense of your guests' understanding.

Miss Manners writes of brides and grooms such as yourself who cared more that their invitation wording was "clever," "creative," "romantic," or "them", and who confused their guests as to what they were being invited to with "originally" worded invitations. Said guests skipped the ceremony because the wording didn't make clear that they were invited to the ceremony-it was too focused on "the joy of the beginning of the new life together" of the couple rather than conveying to the guest that they were actually invited and what they were invited to!

The purpose of a wedding invitation, contrary to popular belief, is not to express the personalities or religious/cultural/social/traditional/etc. beliefs of the couple or lack thereof, but to make clear to the guests what they're being invited to and the logistics of the event. So, the reason we don't endorse "nontraditional" wording is that it confuses the guests about what they're invited to and buries the logistical information that they need to get to the right places at the right times.

And no one's suggesting you're being "snotty" with your "It's my wedding, I'm going to do what I'm going to do" attitude by pointing this out to you. We are pointing out to you that you're not doing your guests any favors when you do this, and those of us who support traditional wording are not going to help you come up with "nontraditional" wording to do it. There are times and places in planning weddings when "It's my wedding, I'll do what I want even if it's not traditional" work out just fine. Invitation wording is not among them, however.

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

You don't have to "like" the traditional wording, but the fact that your wedding is "not as traditional as most" doesn't give you carte blanche to issue something that glorifies your personality at the expense of your guests' understanding.

Miss Manners writes of brides and grooms such as yourself who cared more that their invitation wording was "clever," "creative," "romantic," or "them", and who confused their guests as to what they were being invited to with "originally" worded invitations. Said guests skipped the ceremony because the wording didn't make clear that they were invited to the ceremony-it was too focused on "the joy of the beginning of the new life together" of the couple rather than conveying to the guest that they were actually invited and what they were invited to!

The purpose of a wedding invitation, contrary to popular belief, is not to express the personalities or religious/cultural/social/traditional/etc. beliefs of the couple or lack thereof, but to make clear to the guests what they're being invited to and the logistics of the event. So, the reason we don't endorse "nontraditional" wording is that it confuses the guests about what they're invited to and buries the logistical information that they need to get to the right places at the right times.

And no one's suggesting you're being "snotty" with your "It's my wedding, I'm going to do what I'm going to do" attitude by pointing this out to you. We are pointing out to you that you're not doing your guests any favors when you do this, and those of us who support traditional wording are not going to help you come up with "nontraditional" wording to do it. There are times and places in planning weddings when "It's my wedding, I'll do what I want even if it's not traditional" work out just fine. Invitation wording is not among them, however.

If you don't want to help me with my non traditional wording, then why bother commenting on a thread asking for help with non traditional wording? I'm not going to go on a thread asking about a traditional invitation and tell them they shouldn't do it that way. And yeah, I get that it needs to be clear they are invited to an actual wedding, it will be very clear. And even if I did mess up and make it unclear to some people what my invitation was saying, 100% of my guests have had at least one conversation with me about being invited to my wedding ceremony/reception/everything. And by the way I found some invitation wording on a different website that I like much better and yes it is very clear that they are being invited to a wedding.

By the way, I'm pretty sure no matter what I write on the actual invitation, the fact that there is a date, time and address on the bottom with "reception to follow" will make it extremely clear to anyone who sees it that it is a wedding invitation.

MobKaz · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

You don't have to "like" the traditional wording, but the fact that your wedding is "not as traditional as most" doesn't give you carte blanche to issue something that glorifies your personality at the expense of your guests' understanding.

Miss Manners writes of brides and grooms such as yourself who cared more that their invitation wording was "clever," "creative," "romantic," or "them", and who confused their guests as to what they were being invited to with "originally" worded invitations. Said guests skipped the ceremony because the wording didn't make clear that they were invited to the ceremony-it was too focused on "the joy of the beginning of the new life together" of the couple rather than conveying to the guest that they were actually invited and what they were invited to!

The purpose of a wedding invitation, contrary to popular belief, is not to express the personalities or religious/cultural/social/traditional/etc. beliefs of the couple or lack thereof, but to make clear to the guests what they're being invited to and the logistics of the event. So, the reason we don't endorse "nontraditional" wording is that it confuses the guests about what they're invited to and buries the logistical information that they need to get to the right places at the right times.

And no one's suggesting you're being "snotty" with your "It's my wedding, I'm going to do what I'm going to do" attitude by pointing this out to you. We are pointing out to you that you're not doing your guests any favors when you do this, and those of us who support traditional wording are not going to help you come up with "nontraditional" wording to do it. There are times and places in planning weddings when "It's my wedding, I'll do what I want even if it's not traditional" work out just fine. Invitation wording is not among them, however.

If you don't want to help me with my non traditional wording, then why bother commenting on a thread asking for help with non traditional wording? I'm not going to go on a thread asking about a traditional invitation and tell them they shouldn't do it that way. And yeah, I get that it needs to be clear they are invited to an actual wedding, it will be very clear. And even if I did mess up and make it unclear to some people what my invitation was saying, 100% of my guests have had at least one conversation with me about being invited to my wedding ceremony/reception/everything. And by the way I found some invitation wording on a different website that I like much better and yes it is very clear that they are being invited to a wedding.

By the way, I'm pretty sure no matter what I write on the actual invitation, the fact that there is a date, time and address on the bottom with "reception to follow" will make it extremely clear to anyone who sees it that it is a wedding invitation.

Good for you.

I honestly have no more patience for these new, self righteous, validate-me-or-you-are-a-mean-b*tch posters.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

Check out this website. http://www.invitationconsultants.com/sw-wedding.aspx

I found it very helpful with doing mine. We paid for it ourselves too. They offer lots of options based on who is paying for it, what time of year it is, special interested, if parents are deceased, the options are endless.

Jen4948 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

You don't have to "like" the traditional wording, but the fact that your wedding is "not as traditional as most" doesn't give you carte blanche to issue something that glorifies your personality at the expense of your guests' understanding.

Miss Manners writes of brides and grooms such as yourself who cared more that their invitation wording was "clever," "creative," "romantic," or "them", and who confused their guests as to what they were being invited to with "originally" worded invitations. Said guests skipped the ceremony because the wording didn't make clear that they were invited to the ceremony-it was too focused on "the joy of the beginning of the new life together" of the couple rather than conveying to the guest that they were actually invited and what they were invited to!

The purpose of a wedding invitation, contrary to popular belief, is not to express the personalities or religious/cultural/social/traditional/etc. beliefs of the couple or lack thereof, but to make clear to the guests what they're being invited to and the logistics of the event. So, the reason we don't endorse "nontraditional" wording is that it confuses the guests about what they're invited to and buries the logistical information that they need to get to the right places at the right times.

And no one's suggesting you're being "snotty" with your "It's my wedding, I'm going to do what I'm going to do" attitude by pointing this out to you. We are pointing out to you that you're not doing your guests any favors when you do this, and those of us who support traditional wording are not going to help you come up with "nontraditional" wording to do it. There are times and places in planning weddings when "It's my wedding, I'll do what I want even if it's not traditional" work out just fine. Invitation wording is not among them, however.

If you don't want to help me with my non traditional wording, then why bother commenting on a thread asking for help with non traditional wording? I'm not going to go on a thread asking about a traditional invitation and tell them they shouldn't do it that way. And yeah, I get that it needs to be clear they are invited to an actual wedding, it will be very clear. And even if I did mess up and make it unclear to some people what my invitation was saying, 100% of my guests have had at least one conversation with me about being invited to my wedding ceremony/reception/everything. And by the way I found some invitation wording on a different website that I like much better and yes it is very clear that they are being invited to a wedding.

By the way, I'm pretty sure no matter what I write on the actual invitation, the fact that there is a date, time and address on the bottom with "reception to follow" will make it extremely clear to anyone who sees it that it is a wedding invitation.

Actually, the problem that Miss Manners' correspondents had with originally worded invitations was that they thought they were invited to the reception only! The invitation wording didn't make sufficiently clear that they were also invited to the ceremony because it was overfocused on other things and read like verbal PDA. So "reception to follow" won't clarify in and of itself whether or not the invitation is also for the ceremony or is just for the reception.

The point here is that even if the traditional wording is "boring" to you, it serves a purpose, in that people understand from it exactly what they are being invited to without having to ask: the ceremony, the reception, both, which is not necessarily the case with "cute," "clever," "unique," "original," or "us" wording.

oliviaester1991 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

You don't have to "like" the traditional wording, but the fact that your wedding is "not as traditional as most" doesn't give you carte blanche to issue something that glorifies your personality at the expense of your guests' understanding.

Miss Manners writes of brides and grooms such as yourself who cared more that their invitation wording was "clever," "creative," "romantic," or "them", and who confused their guests as to what they were being invited to with "originally" worded invitations. Said guests skipped the ceremony because the wording didn't make clear that they were invited to the ceremony-it was too focused on "the joy of the beginning of the new life together" of the couple rather than conveying to the guest that they were actually invited and what they were invited to!

The purpose of a wedding invitation, contrary to popular belief, is not to express the personalities or religious/cultural/social/traditional/etc. beliefs of the couple or lack thereof, but to make clear to the guests what they're being invited to and the logistics of the event. So, the reason we don't endorse "nontraditional" wording is that it confuses the guests about what they're invited to and buries the logistical information that they need to get to the right places at the right times.

And no one's suggesting you're being "snotty" with your "It's my wedding, I'm going to do what I'm going to do" attitude by pointing this out to you. We are pointing out to you that you're not doing your guests any favors when you do this, and those of us who support traditional wording are not going to help you come up with "nontraditional" wording to do it. There are times and places in planning weddings when "It's my wedding, I'll do what I want even if it's not traditional" work out just fine. Invitation wording is not among them, however.

If you don't want to help me with my non traditional wording, then why bother commenting on a thread asking for help with non traditional wording? I'm not going to go on a thread asking about a traditional invitation and tell them they shouldn't do it that way. And yeah, I get that it needs to be clear they are invited to an actual wedding, it will be very clear. And even if I did mess up and make it unclear to some people what my invitation was saying, 100% of my guests have had at least one conversation with me about being invited to my wedding ceremony/reception/everything. And by the way I found some invitation wording on a different website that I like much better and yes it is very clear that they are being invited to a wedding.

By the way, I'm pretty sure no matter what I write on the actual invitation, the fact that there is a date, time and address on the bottom with "reception to follow" will make it extremely clear to anyone who sees it that it is a wedding invitation.

Actually, the problem that Miss Manners' correspondents had with originally worded invitations was that they thought they were invited to the reception only! The invitation wording didn't make sufficiently clear that they were also invited to the ceremony because it was overfocused on other things and read like verbal PDA. So "reception to follow" won't clarify in and of itself whether or not the invitation is also for the ceremony or is just for the reception.

The point here is that even if the traditional wording is "boring" to you, it serves a purpose, in that people understand from it exactly what they are being invited to without having to ask: the ceremony, the reception, both, which is not necessarily the case with "cute," "clever," "unique," "original," or "us" wording.

And that is fine for you and miss manners and whoever wants to have their invitation worded like that. The wording I chose includes "as they exchange marriage vows" so it will be clear. But feel free to keep telling me the same thing over and over if you want, it will not change my mind.

Jen4948 · January 2014

oliviaester1991 said:

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

Jen4948 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

JoanE2012 said:

oliviaester1991 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

"...as they exchange their marriage vows." Then just put date on time on next line, no transition needed.

Do you think this sounds right?

"Please join
Brides name
and
Grooms name
as they take their next step in life as husband and wife
they will exchange their marriage vows on
March 22, 2014
at 3pm
at venue"

This doesn't sound right. It sounds as if life is a series of events and becoming husband and wife is one of them. It's not for everyone. Life doesn't always follow these steps. If I got an invitation like that, I'd feel bad for the couple.....that they didn't spend the time to research how an invitation should be worded for such an occasion and they goofed it up with awkward words.

I really think @Jen4948's wording is more appropriate. Now, feel free to take your, "it's my invitation" attitude if you want.....but it's a public forum, you asked for ideas and this is where you'll get a taste of what your guests will be thinking but won't dare tell you.

i dont have one of those snotty "it's my day" attitudes like you guys think i do, i just don't like the traditional wording of an invitation. simple as that. you guys dont need to be rude to me and act like my guests are so judgemental. Every single person invited cares about my fiance and i and will be happy to be invited to our wedding and I highly doubt they will be offended or talk shit about me because of the way i worded my invite. It sounds like when you are invited to a wedding you over analyze and judge every single aspect that the bride and groom chose to include in their day. My wedding is not as traditional as most and I have a different feel for the day entirely than I think you do, so you don't need to tell me the way I want to word my invite is wrong. I asked for help with the style that I have already chosen, I didn't ask to be informed that I'm not "doing it the right way".

You don't have to "like" the traditional wording, but the fact that your wedding is "not as traditional as most" doesn't give you carte blanche to issue something that glorifies your personality at the expense of your guests' understanding.

Miss Manners writes of brides and grooms such as yourself who cared more that their invitation wording was "clever," "creative," "romantic," or "them", and who confused their guests as to what they were being invited to with "originally" worded invitations. Said guests skipped the ceremony because the wording didn't make clear that they were invited to the ceremony-it was too focused on "the joy of the beginning of the new life together" of the couple rather than conveying to the guest that they were actually invited and what they were invited to!

The purpose of a wedding invitation, contrary to popular belief, is not to express the personalities or religious/cultural/social/traditional/etc. beliefs of the couple or lack thereof, but to make clear to the guests what they're being invited to and the logistics of the event. So, the reason we don't endorse "nontraditional" wording is that it confuses the guests about what they're invited to and buries the logistical information that they need to get to the right places at the right times.

And no one's suggesting you're being "snotty" with your "It's my wedding, I'm going to do what I'm going to do" attitude by pointing this out to you. We are pointing out to you that you're not doing your guests any favors when you do this, and those of us who support traditional wording are not going to help you come up with "nontraditional" wording to do it. There are times and places in planning weddings when "It's my wedding, I'll do what I want even if it's not traditional" work out just fine. Invitation wording is not among them, however.

If you don't want to help me with my non traditional wording, then why bother commenting on a thread asking for help with non traditional wording? I'm not going to go on a thread asking about a traditional invitation and tell them they shouldn't do it that way. And yeah, I get that it needs to be clear they are invited to an actual wedding, it will be very clear. And even if I did mess up and make it unclear to some people what my invitation was saying, 100% of my guests have had at least one conversation with me about being invited to my wedding ceremony/reception/everything. And by the way I found some invitation wording on a different website that I like much better and yes it is very clear that they are being invited to a wedding.

By the way, I'm pretty sure no matter what I write on the actual invitation, the fact that there is a date, time and address on the bottom with "reception to follow" will make it extremely clear to anyone who sees it that it is a wedding invitation.

Actually, the problem that Miss Manners' correspondents had with originally worded invitations was that they thought they were invited to the reception only! The invitation wording didn't make sufficiently clear that they were also invited to the ceremony because it was overfocused on other things and read like verbal PDA. So "reception to follow" won't clarify in and of itself whether or not the invitation is also for the ceremony or is just for the reception.

The point here is that even if the traditional wording is "boring" to you, it serves a purpose, in that people understand from it exactly what they are being invited to without having to ask: the ceremony, the reception, both, which is not necessarily the case with "cute," "clever," "unique," "original," or "us" wording.

And that is fine for you and miss manners and whoever wants to have their invitation worded like that. The wording I chose includes "as they exchange marriage vows" so it will be clear. But feel free to keep telling me the same thing over and over if you want, it will not change my mind.

You do the same. It will not change our minds.

AddieCake · January 2014

Ours said, "...invite you to share a day of joy as they begin a life of love."

Gizmo813 · January 2014

We are hosting our wedding ourselves and our wording is "we, together with our parents, invite you to share in our joy as we exchange marriage vows." It's not traditional, but it gets the point across effectively.

meh invitation wording.

Re: meh invitation wording.

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