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Sister of the bride

samirishoboesamirishoboe member
First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Hey y'all, I'm having doubts about my choices for my wedding party. I waited a while to tell everyone just to make sure I was certain about who I would be giving each position to, and decided on my best friend since kindergarten to be my MOH. My sister who is two years younger than me asked me to be a bridesmaid right after I became engaged and I said yes, you're definitely going to be a bridesmaid. Now I'm hearing that she was kinda hurt that I didn't make her my MOH. I know it's my wedding and I decide all that stuff, but I still hate disappointing people, especially my family. I'm wondering if there's any special "Sister of the Bride" position or anything just so she can have that honor too, since I don't want to tell my MOH I picked someone else or anything like that. I don't know, is there anything any of you guys decided for situations like this? I'm not giving in to what she wants or anything like that, because I do think she does deserve some sort of special position like that, but it's hard when you have one MOH position to give. They're all unmarried, and I have a total of 4 girls on my side. Thanks!
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Re: Sister of the bride

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    You could have co-MOH if you wanted to, but you shouldn't make her co-MOH just because she wants to be MOH. If you want her and your friend since kindergarten both to be your MOH, they both can.

    Your sister could also sign your wedding license instead of your MOH.
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  • samirishoboesamirishoboe member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Would that be offensive at all to my current MOH?
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    As @KeptInStitches said she could be co-MOH. But honestly, being a BM is a huge honor and I think it's silly for anyone to complain that they weren't honored enough. I really don't think she needs anything more special than being a BM.


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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    @samirishoboe, Depends. How long ago was everyone asked? More importantly, do you want your sister to be co-MOH? @bethsmiles is right that it is a huge honor to be a BM.
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  • samirishoboesamirishoboe member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    @KeptInStitches Probably two months almost? I would probably have been fine with them being co-MOHs, but I know myself that I prefer to have all the responsibilities done by one person, and I guess it would get a little messy having to figure out who does what if I split the roles. I'm wondering if she could be called "Sister of the Bride" like "Mother of the Bride" or if I should leave it as a BM. I agree with @bethsmiles too, but I guess if I put myself in her shoes I would be a little hurt too.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Two things: 1.) Leave her as a BM. In the program I typically see the wedding party listed as, under Bridesmaids, their names and their relationship to the bride/groom.

    2.) You will be happiest if you set your expectations for your wedding party as to get the dress within their budgets and show up sober to the wedding. Smiling in pictures is a bonus. Anything they volunteer to do beyond that is gravy.

    Good luck!
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    There are no responsibilities beyond showing up the day of the wedding, sober, in the dress.

    It's been two months since you asked. At this point changing anything isn't going to make your sister feel more special, she'll feel like an after thought. It's too bad she's hurt but that's life. I think you should just leave things as they are. You are over-thinking this.


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  • allispainallispain member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Can you ask your sister to do a ceremony reading on top of being a BM? That's a separate way to honor her, and I often see BMs doing readings at weddings these days (probably due to situations just like this one).

    As for "duties" and "roles" - being MOH is simply an additional honor on top of the honor of being asked to be a BM. It doesn't necessarily come with any specific "duty" outside of probably being the person to hold your bouquet during the ceremony. All the showers, bachelorette parties, etc. that many MOHs give are considered gifts - they shouldn't be expected (plus, anyone can offer to host those events - including people not in the BP).
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  • hjay07hjay07 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its

    I am a co-MOH in my best friend's wedding in October where my co-MOH is her sister. Granted, my opinion comes from the perspective of the friend, not the sister, but I would've been just as honored to be a BM and not MOH.

    I think so many people feel like if you have siblings, they MUST be in your wedding party. It really depends on how close they are to you, so I wouldn't make your sis a co-MOH purely out of guilt.

     

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    It's very sweet to include your sister as a BM after she asked to be one (that was super rude of her btw). I would ignore her request to be MOH. You already chose your wedding party and assigned roles 2 months ago. I would not make her co-MOH. Her requests are immature, imposing and rude. Don't reward that behavior.
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  • laurajc04laurajc04 member
    First Comment
    I don't think it was super rude of her at all. They're sisters, not just acquaintances or co-workers.
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  • BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    For what it's worth I had 3 MOH's (there was NO way I could choose between my 3 best friends) and there were no issues.  It's completely up to you
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can have her as a co-MOH, but I would not reward her pissiness by giving her a "Sister of the Bride" status.  Being an MOH or bridesmaid is a big honor by itself, and her temper tantrum provies that she's not really mature enough even for that.
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