I'm seeking guidance on what to do about my Maid of Honor. She is a wonderful person who gives so much of herself to her friends, family, and job. She was very excited for my fiancé and I when we got engaged in July 2012. Our wedding is in October 2014. She went with me a year ago to pick out my dress, and made the extra effort (without me asking) to take over 150 pictures so I can have a slide show of the event. Three months ago, she visited my ceremony and reception sites with me and helped me brainstorm decorations and how to get around a few logistical issues. She's been great! She asked me to meet her for lunch today to discuss parties, dresses, etc because she said she was stressing out about her duties and wanted to clear the air. I feel I have been very open about the dresses, offering my wedding members to pick a dress in any material or style she likes, as long as it is one of the two different colors I have chosen (actually, my MoH chose the second color). My MoH said today that she wants her dress in a third color. I wasn't overly fond of the color, but it complements the other two, so I agreed to it. I have been very clear about wanting my group to feel comfortable and happy with their dresses. Then came the discussion of shoes. No one wants to wear heels (myself included), so I was going to buy Teva flip flops as one of my gifts for them (along with Coach wristlets, Hollister beach bags, VS lotion, the Intercourses cookbook, and homemade sugar scrub). Despite stating she liked my idea regarding the shoes previously, today she said she thinks everyone should wear Toms. Not only are these three times the price as the Tevas, but I simply don't like the look of them (and know for a fact at least two of my bridesmaids don't either). When I thanked her for the suggestion and said that I liked my original plan, she told me that she thought it was too bad I didn't care about my bridesmaid's toes getting cold (it should be at least 65 degrees for our early afternoon ceremony). I was willing to let it go, but then she started talking about parties. She informed me I could either have a bridal shower OR a bachelorette party and that I needed to decide today (9 months prior to the wedding) which that would be. She grew up in Arizona (where we both now live) and I grew up in Virginia. Maybe it is a regional difference, but for every wedding I have been involved in, the bride was celebrated at both events. We then started talking about a shower. My MoH continued to tell me all the things she wouldn't do. There were many, but a few stand out above the others. We can have the shower at her place, but if I want to have alcohol there (at that point we had discussed an Italian theme with wine tasting) then I will need to hold it at my own place. She said she would be willing to do the invitations, decorations, and games, but that I would need to provide the food, drinks, and favors, and that I should consider asking a bridesmaid to help me with this to help lessen the cost to me (yes, she actually said that). I suggested we didn't need decorations or games as I am a bit of a foodie and find food to be of more importance. She then told me firmly she would not be involved with the food in any way. She finished off the conversation by telling me that she will not be doing a toast at the wedding reception (which I am fine with because I understand that phobia and we weren't going to ask that of anyone, but she didn't know that). I was so stunned by this whole exchange that I didn't know what to say. This was all so uncharacteristic of her. I don't feel like I have asked too much of her. I haven't asked for help on any DIY projects, and we haven't been on any wedding-related outings, save for the two mentioned earlier that were in January and October 2013, respectively. I have heard of some brides getting carried away with their wedding and talking of nothing but that each time they speak to the members of their wedding party. I have taken great care to not be one such person, especially with her. I now find myself feeling guilty for feeling disappointed. I know I want to talk to her about this, but I don't know where to begin since I do not want to come across as being selfish or bridezilla-y. We have been good friends for 2 years and we work at the same agency, so I certainly do not want to ask her to step down. She did have a lot of stress in her life about 6 months ago, and after a heartfelt discussion then, I gave her the option of bowing out because I didn't want her to feel like my wedding was another series of obligations and stressors in her life. She told me I was being silly and that she wanted nothing more than to celebrate and stand beside me. I do not think finances are an issue because she works a full time job and lives with her parents and has no credit card debt. I feel completely caught off guard at what I perceive to be a drastic change in her. She insists nothing is wrong. I don't even know where to begin. I searched the Internet for several hours and didn't find posts about anything like this, so I am hoping you can help me. Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate you taking the time to read my lengthy post.