My parents hate my first dance song... Help!

Jackie21413 · January 2012

Our (my fiance and I) favorite band is The Ramones, and we thought it would be cool if we had our first dance to a Ramones song... But, my parents HATE the idea, they want to hire a violinist for the first dance. My question is: Would 'Baby, I Love You' by The Ramones be an appropriate first dance song?And, how do I tell my mother that I do NOT want a violin?

mkrupar · January 2012

Umm It's the first dance between your (then) H and you. I don't think your parents have ANY say in it whatsoever. This is one of those times where even though parents may be paying I do not think they get a say in this part of the wedding.

doeie04 · January 2012

I personally think that it is the B and G's decision on what song they pick. Even if your parents are paying for your wedding, they shouldn't get say.

Edit: We posted at the same time. Great minds think alike!

achiduck · January 2012

It's your wedding and even if they're paying this is one detail that they shouldn't have control over. I'd tell her to piss off. Or if you want to be more polite then that tell her you'll consider it but will do the research yourself. Then just stick with your original plan.

lauralaur · January 2012

Yeah this one's between you and your fi. Are you doing a father-daughter dance? Maybe hire the violinist for that if they want it so badly?

LeiselEB · January 2012

Even if your parents are paying for the wedding, I think your first dance choice is one that only you and your fiance should have a say in. You'll be the only ones dancing to it, after all.

Just tell your mother that you don't want a violinist (unless perhaps they play your song - think Vitamin String Quartet). I'd never heard the song you mentioned before, and just listened to it - adorable for a first dance!

ricksang · January 2012

I think the song is appropriate. Tell your mom that she can hire a violinist to play at your wedding if she would like, but this song is a song that has meaning to you and your new H and that the song is the only song you want for your first dance. Make sure she understands how much the song means to you.

quirky75 · January 2012

Agreed with PP. It's your first dance, not your parents' first dance. We didn't tell anyone what our first dance song was. It was something we did not want any outside opinion on at all.

notquiteblushing · January 2012

I am going to assume they're paying for the entertainment? I would say you love the idea of a violinist at the cocktail hour (if you do) but you want to do something more "you" for the first dance.

Frankly, I'm suprised they asked. My dad didn't even know what our father daughter song was until they called his name to the floor.

TiffannieF · January 2012

Ya....I would just ignore them. What are they going to do on the actual wedding day start yelling?

DH and I were a little concerned about a song we chose because it said "spend a little time inside of you" and "we can make a little residue". As mature adults we just started giggling at that part of the song...nobody noticed, I don't think.

Loopyseven · January 2012

I think you and your FI/H get to pick your first dance song.

LP11509 · January 2012

Yeah, unless you were planning to dance to Hail Hitler or something equally offensive, then I don't think your parents (or anyone but you and your FI) should get a say. Even if they are paying for the wedding.

pzavecz · January 2012

You should pick the song that YOU and YOUR FI want...no one else gets a say in what your first dance is IMO. It's not their wedding and they're not the ones dancing up there. I'd tell them to shove it.

beckyboo27 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-hate-first-dance-song?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:094f4170-4236-4297-9cec-737f41ea9400Post:2759a294-e894-44a7-9f4a-6de3467242d2">Re: My parents hate my first dance song... Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My parents hate my first dance song... Help! : Funny story about my F/D dance: We always joked that we would do the Law & Order theme song (we're big fans and my dad got me into the show), but ultimately both came up with the idea of My Girl. When we got out onto the dance floor, my mom had arranged as a surprise for the band to begin with the L&O theme song and segue into My Girl. It was awesome.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahaha! That is pretty awesome!!</div><div>
</div><div>OP, it's not your parents' decision, it's yours and your future husband's. If they don't like it, too bad.</div>

LittleMissCutiePie · January 2012

If you wanted your first dance to be to "Baby Got Back", your parents still couldn't say a word. If they don't like it, tough. Your dance=your song.

Grits8812 · January 2012

I agree with others. It is the first dance between you and your (then) husband. It is your choice what song you want to dance to.

Rose March · January 2012

I had joked about doing "Closer" by NIN but apart from that or something similarly offensive, like everyone has said before me: It's your 1st dance, your choice.

Baby I Love You is such a great song there's no reason why you can't use it. Just explain to your parents that this song & and your first dance means a lot to you two and this is something you can't buge on. I think they'll understand.

kmmssg · January 2012

Agree that this is one thing that needs to be strictly between B&G. Tell them thanks but it isn't what you want and your first dance needs to be very personal and reflect the two of you. You could even ask your mom when was the last time she saw a B&G dancing to violin music.

[Deleted User] · January 2012

I'm not planning to tell my parents what our FD and entrance songs will be since neither like rock/heavy metal and we're planning to use songs by artists in these genres.

Entrance: "Last of the Wilds" by Nightwish (just the opening)

FD: "While Your Lips Are Still Red" by Nightwish or "Born To Be My Baby" (Acoustic) by Bon Jovi

The FD are slow and softer, but neither of my parents care for this type of music. FI and I picked songs that are significant to us in the lyrics, mood, or style. I played the Bon Jovi song one time for my mom and she just wasn't a fan.

Keep the music discussion between you and the DJ.

Meghannsix · January 2012

This is why I keep information on a need to know basis! And my first dance song? No one needs to know it until it plays at the reception. This song should be something you feel comfortable with, something that represents you two. If she wants the violinist so badly, which for the record I have never seen outside of the ceremony, let her have it for the father/daughter dance.

My parents hate my first dance song... Help!

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