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Handing out v. mailing save-the-dates

Uklaw88Uklaw88 member
10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So we decided to do save-the-dates because our wedding is an hour and a half outside of where we live and the majority of our guests are out-of-state. However, we do have a few people that I see regularly that I can just give the save-the-date to, without mailing it.

What is the etiquette on giving save-the-dates? Is it an absolute must to mail them all? Or is the convenience of handing out the few that are close to you geographically an ok thing to do?
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Re: Handing out v. mailing save-the-dates

  • dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    Honestly, If you're doing save the dates, I'd go ahead and mail them. 

    This will help to make sure you have all the addresses and names for invitees correct. For those folks you see on a regular basis, you can check in with them and make sure they got it. 

    As an example: 
    A good friend of mine is getting married later this year. I know that she was working on save the dates (we had the same person do our invites), but DH and I never got one. I mentioned to her that fact, and she was able to check and she had addressed ours wrong somehow! Apparently she had 3 other people who that happened to as well! It can take a LONG time to get returned mail back. 

    I even sent Save the Dates to my parents and DH's parents. They loved getting them. I even gave our moms, for mother's day last year, a picture frame with three slots in it. The middle was our Save the Date, and the top and bottom were engagement pictures. 


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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    STDs are informal communication so you can mail or hand deliver them. Whatever you do, be sure that you keep track of who you give them to. If you give someone a STD you MUST also send them an invitation :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    People might lose them if you hand deliver them.
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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    FI's folks INSISTED we give them a STD to hand deliver to FFIL's friend and wife. Fast forward a few months, and FFIL is bitching about friend and wife not getting their invite at the same time. There was dead silence on the phone when I informed him that since HE insisted we give them the STD to hand deliver, we had never gotten the address and plumb forgotten as everyone else's address was compiled for STDs. Got the address 2 mins later.

    Moral of the story- address, don't hand deliver

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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I don't recommend hand-delivering, because of the potential for things getting lost. I, for one, carry a massive purse. Things that get put into it sometimes disappear into a wormhole and never come out again. If you give it to someone at work or a social event, it is likely to go missing.

    The only situation in which I would hand-deliver an item would be if you were going to their house, where they could put it somewhere safe immediately. If your best friend lives across the street from you, feel free to walk over there and hand it to her.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would prefer getting mine mailed instead of handed to me. 
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Since FFIL is a letter carrier, I always side with mailing things. We encourage things that help him keep his job! haha
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I prefer to receive important communications about events in the mail and not have them handed to me, including STDs.  I'm likely to misplace them if they are handed to me.
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  • hikebikebemerryhikebikebemerry member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I lean toward sending things in the mail, because I love getting things in the mail that aren't bills/ads/etc.  It makes me do a happy dance, even if I'm expecting it!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Another issue with handing out save-the-dates is that it's not advisable to do it in the presence of anyone who won't be invited to the wedding, just as it's not advisable to talk about your wedding in the presence of anyone who won't be invited.   At best it can lead to confusion and embarrassment about who is invited; at worst it can stir up jealousy in the uninvited.
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I hand delivered to a couple of friends that were about to move, but otherwise I like mailing. I found out that I had a few addresses wrong, which are now corrected.
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