Buffet/Station dinner and dietary restrictions/preferences.

BecauseYouAre · January 2014

We're serving a large variety of items at our wedding (About 20 items all plus a slider station). We tried to be conscious of the most frequent dietary needs and that are met with several options to make a full meal; vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, dairy free. I have 3 questions.

Any other big ones to make sure I have covered?

What is the best way to let our guests know which are which to make it easiest on them and servers?

Will our guests let us know of any restrictions when they RSVP?

Jen4948 · January 2014

I'd also consider sugar-free for diabetics and dieters, and perhaps kosher and halal for practicing Jews and Moslems who might be attending.

Some guests might let you know, but it's gracious to ask them and not wait for them to tell you. Even then, some guests might choose not to tell you for whatever reason. I'd label the dishes at each station so that your guests know what each one contains, in the event they need to avoid anything served, whether they tell you or not.

delujm0 · January 2014

When you do a buffet with such varied choices, you're sure to have at least one thing that everyone can eat. I think you'd do fine to simply label each dish on the buffet line.

If your servers are provided by the caterer, they will either know the ingredients of each dish, or know who to ask about them. So if a guest asks them a question, they will be able to handle it.

Unless you specifically ask on your RSVP about dietary restrictions, I doubt you'll get any feedback about that. As a picky eater, and a person who has some relatives with tricky dietary restrictions, believe me when I say you're probably overreacting - as long as you've made a good faith effort to accomodate a variety of diets (including vegetarian) your picky eaters will be happy. Most of them will likely have eaten before hand or brought a snack or two with them in case of emergency. People with serious and difficult dietary restrictions (my cousin who is allergic to dairy for example) always does this just to be safe.

doeydo · January 2014

Nut and/or peanut free.

I would discuss people's allergies with the chef/whoever is in charge of the buffet. They should make sure that there are options for everyone's dietary restrictions and do everything in their power to avoid cross contamination. On the buffet, where you would have a little sign saying "Spaghetti" I would write beside or underneath that (still on the little sign) "Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Nut Free". Another option is to have different stations (ie. one table has all Gluten Free food).

You could put a line on your RSVP that has a spot for them to put their dietary restriction information. Example:

BecauseYouAre · January 2014

First sorry I though I posted this in Reception Ideas.

Sugar free is a good one thanks.

I don't know much about strict halal but I know nothing will be strict kosher and the caterer can order a special plated kosher meal if needed.

Jen4948 · January 2014

BecauseYouAre said:

First sorry I though I posted this in Reception Ideas. Sugar free is a good one thanks. I don't know much about strict halal but I know nothing will be strict kosher and the caterer can order a special plated kosher meal if needed.

If you can't provide strict kosher or halal, people who need them can usually eat vegetarian items. Not sure about halal, but people who are strictly kosher will avoid meat outside of situations where they can be confident about the meat's passing kosher muster; also, foods that combine meat and dairy items are not kosher.

crackktheskyy · January 2014

It's fairly common and easy now to make a wedding website. On your wedding website you can provide information for guests to contact you about any special dietary needs. Sounds like you're doing a great job in trying to be as accommodating as possible to all of your guests!

Jen4948 · January 2014

crackktheskyy said:

It's fairly common and easy now to make a wedding website. On your wedding website you can provide information for guests to contact you about any special dietary needs. Sounds like you're doing a great job in trying to be as accommodating as possible to all of your guests!

This is possible and great if it is, but guests may not always be tech-savvy enough to use a website. I think in addition to this, I'd still make a request for this information on an insert in the invitation to be returned to the hosts (as part of or with the RSVP).

lyndausvi · January 2014

It sounds like you have a really good mix of foods and have your basis all covered. I commend you for that.

Not sure if you have any Kosher. In my experience, vegetarian options often fill that option for Kosher also. Now some people are more strict than others when it comes to Kosher. For some it's simply no meat and dairy together or no pork. For others it means they can't eat cheese off a plate that might have had meat on it at one time. More than likely you would already know if they were that strict or not. If you are not sure, be sure to ask. If they are strict you would have to get food from a special Kosher caterer.

BecauseYouAre · January 2014

Basic kosher I know is covered nothing mixing meat and dairy, shellfish and pork clearly noted.

BecauseYouAre · January 2014

I think I'll do notations on cards with each item.

Gluten free, dairy free, no added sugar, vegetarian, vegan, contains pork, contains nuts, contains shelfish.

Jen4948 · January 2014

BecauseYouAre said:

I think I'll do notations on cards with each item. Gluten free, dairy free, no added sugar, vegetarian, vegan, contains pork, contains nuts, contains shelfish.

I'd use "sugar-free" and not "no added sugar" because diabetics often have to go further than "no added sugar" in avoiding foods containing sugar. There are foods that contain sugar substitutes that they can eat and natural foods that they can't.

Also, I think you need to be more specific about what kinds of nuts foods containing nuts have. People with peanut and tree nut allergies often can't even breathe their particles without risking asphyxiation. And you need to be very careful to avoid cross-contamination. If you are using caterers, they can help you with this.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

I think yout heart is in the right place, but that you are making things way more complicated than they need to be. You don't need to accommodate every known food allergy and dietary restriction on the planet, just the ones your guests are affected by.

So if you don't have any orthodox Jews or strictly practicing Muslims on your guest list, then you don't need to worry about serving Kosher or Halal prepaared foods. If no diabetics are coming to your wedding, then you can skip the sugar free stuff.

You need to find out what food allergies and restrictions your guests have, and I would do that by asking around, not having space on your RSVP cards for write ins. The reason being that ppl who are just picky eaters will write in all the things they don't like to eat. So ask around in your family and have your FI do the same with his and find out who has actual food allergies, like to nuts and shellfish, and who has Celiac's disease or a gluten intolerance, or who is lactose intolerant or Diabetic, and make sure you accommodate those ppl with your menu selections. Also, be sure to have a vegatarian option and you should have all your bases covered.

Jen4948 · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

I think yout heart is in the right place, but that you are making things way more complicated than they need to be. You don't need to accommodate every known food allergy and dietary restriction on the planet, just the ones your guests are affected by. So if you don't have any orthodox Jews or strictly practicing Muslims on your guest list, then you don't need to worry about serving Kosher or Halal prepaared foods. If no diabetics are coming to your wedding, then you can skip the sugar free stuff. You need to find out what food allergies and restrictions your guests have, and I would do that by asking around, not having space on your RSVP cards for write ins. The reason being that ppl who are just picky eaters will write in all the things they don't like to eat. So ask around in your family and have your FI do the same with his and find out who has actual food allergies, like to nuts and shellfish, and who has Celiac's disease or a gluten intolerance, or who is lactose intolerant or Diabetic, and make sure you accommodate those ppl with your menu selections. Also, be sure to have a vegatarian option and you should have all your bases covered.

Unfortunately, sometimes due to the relationships one might have with someone, not everyone you might need the information from can be approached by "asking around." You need this information from, say, your father's boss or your mother's second cousin, but it may take too long for a spoken request for this information to get back to you with the right information; whereas putting it in the invitation to be sent back with an RSVP has become expected and the right people will just give you the information.

Whether or not someone writes in "don't like" is irrelevant; they're not going to eat what they don't like anyway, so it doesn't make sense to have something that lots of people don't like, and "asking around" will produce the same results: John "doesn't like" chocolate; Jane "won't eat" chicken, etc.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

When I have asked about food allergies aand dietary restrictions, I have not gotten John doesn't like chocolate. I have gotten John is allergic to shellfish. But I see your point where you can just ignore the info written from the picky eaters. . .especially heathens who dislike chocolate!

Jen4948 · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

When I have asked about food allergies aand dietary restrictions, I have not gotten John doesn't like chocolate. I have gotten John is allergic to shellfish. But I see your point where you can just ignore the info written from the picky eaters. . .especially heathens who dislike chocolate!

You've been lucky. In my own case, there are people my parents would want me to invite whom I'm not close to, and whom my BF and his mother know, but he is not close to, and "asking around" just wouldn't get us the information we'd need on a timely basis. I think it only works if the guest list is small and everyone knows everyone really well. But usually that's not the case.

lyndausvi · January 2014

Please do not over-thinking this or you will drive yourself crazy.

Have your basics covered is all you can do. With 20 different options plus the slider bar unless people should be able to find foods to eat.

phira · January 2014

We're not having a buffet, which means even more limited choices for guests. We have a lot of guests who don't like fish AND a lot of guests who do (we LOVE fish!), a lot of vegetarian guests, a handful of vegan guests, and a bunch of gluten-free guests. There's some overlap with gluten-free guests and vegan guests, but not entirely.

We're picking a chicken or beef entree (probably beef), a fin-fish entree, and a vegan entree, and we're going to coordinate with our caterer to ensure that all three entrees are gluten-free. That's pretty much the extent of our initial efforts, and it covers what we've found to be the major dietary restriction categories, minus allergies.*

When guests RSVP for our wedding, they'll be directed to the wedding website, where we're providing them with pretty detailed descriptions of the entree options, as well as the appetizers. When they RSVP, we're asking them to indicate which entree they'd like, AND to contact us with any dietary restrictions, even if they think we already know about it. So, a guest can RSVP and select "beef" and then call us to let us know they have a peanut allergy, or they can wait to RSVP and call us to explain that they are on a strict low-sodium diet.

We're very, very likely doing online RSVPs, which means no RSVP cards, but if we do use cards, we're not going to include a line for people to write allergies or restrictions. The photo shared above honestly rubs me the wrong way--"issues" puts a weird spin on it that makes me feel like if I have a weird dietary restriction, I'm creating issues.

So, what should YOU do, OP? Don't worry about dealing with every dietary restriction under the sun (I'm pretty sure we're not having any Orthodox Jews at our wedding, for example). I also recommend considering making lots of options friendly to various restrictions: a vegetarian will eat a vegan entree, and while I know a lot of people are irritated with gluten-free right now, it's SO easy to make a gluten-free meal (chicken or fish, potatoes, roasted veggies, salad).

* We're actually going to avoid some of the major allergens to start with: peanuts, tree nuts, and shellfish.

Viczaesar · January 2014

lyndausvi said:

It sounds like you have a really good mix of foods and have your basis all covered. I commend you for that.

Not sure if you have any Kosher. In my experience, vegetarian options often fill that option for Kosher also. Now some people are more strict than others when it comes to Kosher. For some it's simply no meat and dairy together or no pork. For others it means they can't eat cheese off a plate that might have had meat on it at one time. More than likely you would already know if they were that strict or not. If you are not sure, be sure to ask. If they are strict you would have to get food from a special Kosher caterer.

Plus vegetables are supposed to be checked for bug parts, etc. Many Jews are not so strict in their observance but many of the Orthodox Jews I know won't eat at non-Kosher restaurants at all or eat the vegetarian option at a wedding unless it's certified Kosher.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

When I have asked about food allergies aand dietary restrictions, I have not gotten John doesn't like chocolate. I have gotten John is allergic to shellfish. But I see your point where you can just ignore the info written from the picky eaters. . .especially heathens who dislike chocolate!

You've been lucky. In my own case, there are people my parents would want me to invite whom I'm not close to, and whom my BF and his mother know, but he is not close to, and "asking around" just wouldn't get us the information we'd need on a timely basis. I think it only works if the guest list is small and everyone knows everyone really well. But usually that's not the case.

Mine is 200 and that's what we've been doing. I need this info before I figure out what food stations we are going to offer. Trying to get it via RSVP cards would be too late.

ETA- I have family and friends who have shellfish and nut allergies, a co worker who has a diary allergy- not lactose intolerant- and cannot eat onions and garlic, a carnivore of a boss who has gout, and a friend who is on a gluten free diet.

Because of cross contamination issues, no shellfish or nuts at the reception, we will make sure cheese isn't in every single dish although we will probably have an anti-pasta station, I'll let me co worker know if any dishes have onions or garlic in them- I'm not a huge fan of either to begin with, my boss will eat a lot of meat but won't drink beer, and we are probably having a pasta station with at least one gluten free option.

Buffet/Station dinner and dietary restrictions/preferences.

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