I think I might be in bridezilla or being too involved in planning my own parties territory, but I have no idea how to handle a comment from my moh. When fi and I got engaged, she immediately started saying how excited she was for my bachelorette and how she'd throw such a great one. She is now engaged too and asked me to be her moh. I was excited and said yes. However, since her wedding is may 2015 ( no exact date or venue yet) and mine is may 2014, I haven't really thought much about her wedding specifics or bachelorette party.
My sister, also in the Bp, had wanted to be part of bachelorette party plans but told me she was nervous to plan an entire thing due to all the stuff going on in her life right now. I told her to talk to my moh and see if helping her might be an option and I appreciated the offer tremendously,.
A month or so ago, it seems they decided to work together and plan. They also asked me for a list of a few things I'd really want on a bachelorette party, so I provided this. I think my moh was upset because apparently it differed slightly from what she'd been thinking-example, she wanted to start the night at my dads place and have out if town guests just stay there if they wanted and I didn't want to use his place. It'd require extra cleanup and he wasn't big on idea of being kicked out if his house or being in the festivities area.
(However, my moh just lost her job and so I know money is tight and she's super stressed, so I am trying not to be insensitivity. But, , everything becomes a question from her to me on the form of, ' this is expensive, do you really need that at your thing or can we cut it because I just don't have money like that.,'. My sister on the other hand has been calling me saying my moh is not even asking girls if they'd be interested in different things or looking up the prices before saying it's too expensive. Moh even sent an email asking me to let her know who could help pay for what because she doesn't have enough money. I had a conversation with her and tried to gently ask if she'd rather just not plan it and let my sis take over or just not take part in things she couldn't afford, but still have it be part of the activities if other girls wanted to participate and it'd been on my list. She just said she'd have to see.
So, the other day we are out to lunch and she's telling me how her dad will have to help pay for her bm dress-139 that she had no issue with at decision time (I do realize that was before her job loss.). She is also telling me that, in addition to my future mother in law paying (a very gracious offer) for anyone wanting to get wedding makeup done in my Bp, that someone should be paying for the BMs to get their hair done or I shouldn't have said anything. I told BMs I was getting my hair done for wedding and I'd get prices on what it would cost for them to get their hair done too. I said that if prices looked reasonable to them, just let me know so I can tell the hairdressers how many, but they are on no way required to get their hair or makeup done for wedding. 'Yiou have money,' she said as her justification for why ibshoukd OAU for this. Ibjusyvtold her it was not required so if they wanted it, it'd be their cost and if they didn't like cost they didn't have to do it.
Then, at the end she said all the bachelorette planning had gotten her excited for her own and where was I on that? I know she's planning mine, but if actually never offered or said a word about her bachelorette and while I'm not opposed to planning it, I don't understand her just assuming I'd be doing this. I just said that am knee deep in my planning right now but after my wedding, she'll still have over a year to figure things out,. Well, 'I'm going to need you to plan it, just like I am planning yours' she said, 'and I'm thinking Vegas! I've always wanted to go!'
I told her that Vegas can be super expensive and she might want to think on that one and consider her BMs' financials as well. 'Well you've got money, im sure you'll figure it out' was her response. I was so floored I just got in my car and left. If by 'I have money' she means I have a job I work my ass off at for a decent (I'm not taking lavish vacations, but I'm no worried about if ill be able to pay my bills from month to month) salary, then I guess I have money. But she has no idea what my bills are, what fi and I are saving for, what loans we may have, I'm just so frustrated when I think about it, but maybe I really am the bridezilla here?