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Bean Dipping doesn't always work.

climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
in Snarky Brides
This rant/vent is brought to you today by my raging PMS. 

I'm so tired of being interrogated about the wedding - by my co-workers, my family members, FI's family members and friends. Actually the only people that don't bother me about it is my mother and my FMIL. 

We spent the day with FI's step-sister. Every time she brought up the wedding, I tried to bean dip her. That shit did not work. 

SS: How are the wedding plans going? You got your dress, right?
Me: Yup. Hey, how was your cruise?
SS: Did you pick a photographer yet?
Me: Yes. Oh, Sam (her son) has a game today?
SS: What's the photographer's name? What DJ are you using? What kind of cake are you going to have? Where's your bachelorette party going to be? Will there be naked men? Can I come?

I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next 9 months. FI's friends' wives do this to me too. I try to change the subject but it does not work. I end up answering questions all day about the wedding. 

This is my second wedding. FI and I both want a low-key simple event. I'm not having a traditional wedding cake. Shit, I'm not even doing flowers! And everyone knows this is my second wedding. Not only do I know what I'm doing, but this is not some huge blow-out, over-the-top affair. It's just one fucking day! 
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Re: Bean Dipping doesn't always work.

  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    At that point, I think it's only fair to say "Gosh, if I keep answering your questions, nothing will be a surprise!" and if they still don't get it, put your foot down and say "I don't want to talk about it. You'll see it when you get there." You don't have to let them push you around.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
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  • CLI242009CLI242009 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm sorry ClimbingBride =( It sounds like they just can't take the hint.

    I would either keep trying or do what I've done: "Say you can't remember off the top of your head and you need to look it up but later because you have to do this........"


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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I don't talk wedding to my coworkers, though boss lady did ask how I'm doing with my leg issues, and how that would impact wedding (she approved my time off for wedding, so she knows about it). We had a nice chuckle over whether I'd have to wear sneakers to my formal wedding under my dress, then moved on.
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    oh geez. i'm in the same boat! 

    no, i don't want to talk about it. no, that doesn't mean i'm not happy. it just means i don't want to talk about it. end of story. i can't with people.
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  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    That's obnoxious.  Maybe just try being honest.  Explain that you've been answering a lot of wedding-related questions lately and you just want to focus on something else for a little while- if you're being asked all of these questions while you're out visiting someone or at work, or out to dinner etc. Just mention that you were just wedding planning at home, and you'd rather enjoy the time off from planning.
    image
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    That's a good idea. I'm just going to have to say that I'd rather discuss something else. It drives me crazy. I get that people are excited and want to ask questions. But why do some people have to know every detail??

    FI's friend's wife would probably take over wedding planning. I'm not even kidding. She wanted to call my venue to ask for a bigger discount on rooms. *cries* I am a 33 year old woman. I can handle this shit myself! 
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  • KPBM89KPBM89 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    UGH I am so sorry climbingbride!  FMIL spent 2 hours asking me a billion questions about the wedding when we visited for Christmas.  FI did nothing to help me escape (in fact, he bailed on me to go walk the dog for 20 minutes!), nor did his brother (he was in the same room) and every attempt I made to change the subject failed.  She just asks the same questions over and over and mentions every time about her disappointment that it won't be in a church.  

    When I finally escaped and went out for sushi, I drank a lot of sake that night.  
    image


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Sake cures everything, at least in my opinion :-P 
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    We're having a really small wedding. So I'm having a hard time with aunts, cousins, and brand new friends who aren't invited. Having dinner with them or something and they try to ask questions about it because they think they're invited!

    I try to dodge it and say casually " uuumm I think we're going with XXX venue, anyways how's your basketball league going" And then they are always like "What do you mean, you think, you aren't sure yet, did you book the date, I'm busy Columbus day weekend, it's not Columbus day weekend is it?!" I'm just like god dammit......it's bad enough getting questions from guests but non guests eeek!

                                                                     

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If bean-dipping doesn't work, I'd say, "I'm sorry, but I need to ask you to excuse me-I can't talk about this now" and then exit the conversation by leaving the area, hanging up the phone, or whatever.
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd just say "All I've been talking about lately is the wedding! Planning can be so stressful. I'd rather talk about something less stressful......then bean dip". 

    As for people who aren't invited asking about it, I think you need to have a stock response when they ask questions. 
    Q: "Have you guys picked a venue yet?! What's the date?! I can't wait for it!"
    A: "Yeah, we've decided to keep it super small, almost like eloping but local. We're just doing it in a small restaurant downtown, but I'd rather not go into details."
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  • mulloyasmulloyas member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    My fiance and I have been engaged since last December and our wedding is this June. I'm also a very type A person who loves lists, calendars, and planning so I pretty much had the entire day planned by August. Now when people ask, "how's the wedding planning coming along?" I really don't have any updates because it's all done! I did enjoy talking about being engaged and the planning process early on, but now it's not that great of a conversation because nothing has changed.

    Well, I did find an awesome strapless bra I plan to wear under my dress but I highly doubt that's really what people want to talk about. :)
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