Bachelor Parties...
So my FI, God love him, tells me that they are going to the Dominican Republic for his bachelor party. I didn't get upset because I thought it was hilarious. Then I realized he was serious...our honey moon isn't even planned yet, its his task, and he's planning to leave the country to galavant with his friends. When that hit me I was not a happy camper. He and I have never been out of the country, much less on a real vacation together, so it kind of hurt my feelings that that took priority for him, over making plans for us and how we'd spend our first week as a married couple. When I asked him about it he said he was going regardless of how it made me feel.
Now before you guys say I shouldn't marry him, he came to his senses, but this is generally how he handles things. He says something stupid and kind of mean in reaction to conflict and then later realizes how stupid and mean it was. Was I wrong for feeling slighted by his plans to go to D.R.?
Re: Bachelor Parties...
I would be upset too, if I were you. I would kind of hope that a honeymoon would take precedence for planning over a bachelor party. Although I do understand in chronological order the bachelor party will come first.
You posted some other comments before that have raised red flags about your relationship with each other. I know you said you don't want to hear but if your FI reacts the way you say he does to conflict I would be focusing more on that than the whole trip issue.
@Peaseblossom55 We're working on his communication issues we really are. So, I guess for me that isn't the issue as I kind of expect him to be momentarily unreasonable when conflict arises because if it were his choice, he'd avoid it all together. Being able to talk talk to each other is extremely important for me and he hasn't learned how to do that...most of us have parents who teach us how to talk to people or maybe examples of how not to talk to people. His parents, however, just don't speak at all. It's a process, but I can be patient with him as long asd he continues to put forth effort in being better, and acknowledges that he could have done something better.
@Wabanzi He is in the process of getting a passport...and I felt like it took precedence because he immediately starting figuring out logistics for that and to my knowledge hadn't done so for the honeymoon. He knew how he'd get a plane ticket, he had calculated his vacay days...to put it simply it seemed that that was his prority in my eyes...Kind of hurt my feelings.
So true it's different for every couple. I know I can trust FI 100% if I spent his entire bachelor party worrried he was going to cheat, I think it's a bad start to a marriage. FI went to a bachelor party where they were going to a strip club. I said I was fine with it as long as there was no touching, I said look all you want. He said when he came back he spent the whole time by the bar talking with some of the other guys who just weren't interested in the strip club thing. Setting boundaries is probably a good idea though.