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Children At Wedding

zarefossnlzarefossnl member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Woes
I have a quick question regarding children at weddings.  I love children, but our guest list is fairly large and close to the capacity of our venue.  In addition, I we are getting married in the winter time and we will have no room for children to have extra space to run.  Our wedding will be over by 9:30 p.m.  due to our five hour reception site.  We are in our early thirties and the last of many of our family members to be married.  My fiance has 13 cousins who have 20 children between the ages of newborn and 20.  We have included all of their children over the age of 10, but any of those under the age of 10 we have excluded.  Is this appropriate? We would have to cut our guest list including close friends to include these children.  Please advise.
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Re: Children At Wedding

  • misscoffeepleasemisscoffeeplease member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    If you don't want children at your wedding then you don't have to have them at the wedding. Just be prepared when people send their RSVP cards in and they put their children's name on the card. You have call them and tell them that the wedding is for "so and so only".
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  • zarefossnlzarefossnl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you!
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    No, you don't need to include children.  However, you do need to realize there will be consequences to this decision and you will likely have to deal with relatives and friends who don't agree with your decision. 
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  • HeatherRene83HeatherRene83 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Some people will be offended, but bottom line it's your day and you shouldn't have to sacrifice anything to make others happy. I would explain your reasonings and hopefully people understand. Keep in mind some may tell you they won't be able to come otherwise. Good luck!!
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    No, you dont need to invite kids. But be prepared for some backlash.

    Also, you drew the line at kids 10+ years old can be invited. Fine, no problem. But does that divide any families? I think it was be really awkward to inivte one kid who is 15 and not the other kid in the family who is 9.

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    You don't need to justify your kids no kids decision.  Some people will love it. Some people will hate it.  As long as you aren't splitting up families because of the arbitrary 10 age you're fine.

     

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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Agree with PPs, especially KatWAG and 6fsn about not splitting up families.  We invited nieces and nephews (and some kid-aged first cousins) but not the kids of cousins - making sure to keep the circles intact.  It worked out well for us.
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  • BelthilBelthil member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    Children don't have to be all or none as you and your FI have realized. Having a clear cut-off is a good approach too you just want to make sure you don't break up a family. How would you feel as a 9 year old watching your parents and 10 year old sibling go off to a party? 

    Inviting in circles is a good idea (ie. first cousins that are children are invited but not first cousin's kids) that doesn't break up families. 
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  • zarefossnlzarefossnl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks everyone for all your comments!  Currently, it would only be my fiance's niece and nephew, and my first cousins (which is only 4 children under the age of 12).  I shouldn't have said my arbitrary cut off was 10.  It would be all children elementary age and younger.  This would not split any families. It is such a dicey situation.  I only have one cousin with young children and she is in the wedding.  She has already told she is looking forward to a night out!
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