My boyfriend and I are eloping in April. We are having "receptions" back where i am from and where he is from separately, prob in may or june. Nothing fancy...more casual. i will probably wear my dress, not sure though.
My aunt insists on throwing me a shower. I told her we didnt really want gifts or anything, but she says she has watched me go to all my cousins' showers over the years (I'm 31) and give them nice gifts and as she said, "damn it, its your turn." I then asked her well maybe we could just do like an engagement party type thing with no gifts and she said no, she's talking about a traditional women's only shower. The my cousin chimed in and said many family members have had showers and housewarming parties and I've had nothing, so why am i making a big deal out it. she then told me to register somewhere and give her a date that works for me.
So with all that said, how can I do this gracefully? i WOULD like the small party part, see people before the April wedding. I went to my fiancé's family's for xmas right after we got engaged (its 8 hours away) and i honestly won't see all my cousins again between now and when i get married. granted, i really don't give two sh*ts about gifts. Should I just ignore the "register for some stuff" thing and hope it blows over?? Should I insist that nobody throw a party for me?? Maybe some smaller stuff at Target? We were thinking if we did, we could just not mention it to anyone outside of the family members the aunt is inviting to the party.
I just want to be married and be done dealing with all this stuff. My parents have no money and I just got out of grad school and my fiancé is just starting to get on his feet as well. We simply do not have the money to spend on a wedding, or the type of meal expected at a wedding, so we're doing it the way we're doing it. I truly don't want anything from anybody, but i also don't want to seem greedy or cheap or ungrateful or anything.
My boyfriend and I both have good jobs and in probably five years we will be in a house and doing a LOT better, and we love to entertain, id like to have a big party and everything when i am in a better position to do so, but right now itsnt an option, except for the smallish ones our respective families are throwing us. This stinks! I just want to make people happy - but also make myself happy.