Officiant Booked!

Re: Officiant Booked!

• ArtTeacher23 member

  

  January 2014

  FI and I are not super religious (although I do teach in a Catholic school, go figure) and one of the reasons we decided to go with the officiant we've booked is that he was not judgmental about our beliefs which was a huge relief to us that he wasn't going to force any type of religious ceremony on us that we didn't want and he's a big proponent of working very closely with his brides&grooms/grooms&grooms/brides&brides to create the ceremony that is unique to them. When I did inquire at our local church what their Pre-cana involved, it was no something we felt comfortable with and was not what I expected it to be (I too, thought it was just talking with priest/reverend/pastor) but I guess it all depends on what religion you are a part of and what each parish arranges. Here's what their's description is on their website: What is Pre-Cana? Pre Cana involves a series of talks given by married couples/priests on areas the Church wants engaged couples to discuss ahead of their wedding and helps couples to understand the meaning of the Sacrament of Matrimony. Engaged couples are asked to spend time considering the permanent and exclusive commitment they will be making to each other, to focus in on their relationship and their love for each other, and to get to know each other even better as they prepare to make a life-long promise. The In-home format utilized at OLH has the engaged couples meet in the homes of married couples in our parish. The host couple gives a talk on the topic of the evening, incorporating their own married experiences, which is followed by a discussion with the engaged couples, when the latter can freely share their thoughts on subjects being discussed. Engaged couples are also asked to do written exercises. A special private Mass followed by a wine/cheese party is held to celebrate the couple’s completion of the program. Program Details The In-home Pre Cana program at OLH is offered three times during the year (spring, fall, and winter) and has the engaged couples meet four times in the homes of married couples in our parish. Meetings are usually held on weeknights (Monday through Thursday from 8 to 10 p.m.) Up to six engaged couples work together with the same married team couple. Topics discussed include: •Modern Marriage and the Pressures that are Brought to Bear on Couples Today •Communication •Future In-laws •Financial Expectations •Celebrating Holidays •Sacrament of Matrimony •Faith •Sexual Relations in the Married Relationship •Natural Family Planning (NFP) •Children •Jobs •Friends

  

   

  

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• ArtTeacher23 member

  

  January 2014

  FI and I are not super religious (although I do teach in a Catholic school, go figure) and one of the reasons we decided to go with the officiant we've booked is that he was not judgmental about our beliefs which was a huge relief to us that he wasn't going to force any type of religious ceremony on us that we didn't want and he's a big proponent of working very closely with his brides&grooms/grooms&grooms/brides&brides to create the ceremony that is unique to them. When I did inquire at our local church what their Pre-cana involved, it was no something we felt comfortable with and was not what I expected it to be (I too, thought it was just talking with priest/reverend/pastor) but I guess it all depends on what religion you are a part of and what each parish arranges. Here's what their's description is on their website: What is Pre-Cana? Pre Cana involves a series of talks given by married couples/priests on areas the Church wants engaged couples to discuss ahead of their wedding and helps couples to understand the meaning of the Sacrament of Matrimony. Engaged couples are asked to spend time considering the permanent and exclusive commitment they will be making to each other, to focus in on their relationship and their love for each other, and to get to know each other even better as they prepare to make a life-long promise. The In-home format utilized at OLH has the engaged couples meet in the homes of married couples in our parish. The host couple gives a talk on the topic of the evening, incorporating their own married experiences, which is followed by a discussion with the engaged couples, when the latter can freely share their thoughts on subjects being discussed. Engaged couples are also asked to do written exercises. A special private Mass followed by a wine/cheese party is held to celebrate the couple’s completion of the program. Program Details The In-home Pre Cana program at OLH is offered three times during the year (spring, fall, and winter) and has the engaged couples meet four times in the homes of married couples in our parish. Meetings are usually held on weeknights (Monday through Thursday from 8 to 10 p.m.) Up to six engaged couples work together with the same married team couple. Topics discussed include: •Modern Marriage and the Pressures that are Brought to Bear on Couples Today •Communication •Future In-laws •Financial Expectations •Celebrating Holidays •Sacrament of Matrimony •Faith •Sexual Relations in the Married Relationship •Natural Family Planning (NFP) •Children •Jobs •Friends

  

   

  

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• pumpkinsandturkeys member

  

  January 2014

  The pastor who's marrying us told us that he doesn't marry couples without them first completing a program called Prepare & Enrich. You each take an online questionnaire that asks about how you view yourself, your FI, what your family is like, your relationship, etc. The results are then sent to your officiant to review, and the program provides summaries of your strengths and "growth areas."

  
  

  We then had 2 - 3 sessions to go over the results and also review some exercises that can help us strengthen our growth areas (communication was our major one, because we have SUCH different styles, despite being very open with each other). I liked that it doesn't judge your viability as a couple, and while everything that came out of it were things we knew about ourselves and each other, it was nice to have a summary and charts of how we compare in different areas and with our personality traits and tools to help us bridge some of the gaps/differences that can create unnecessary challenges. Also, it didn't have a focus on religion or spirituality -- just us. FI and I both really enjoyed doing it and would recommend it to anyone.

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• dluberts member

  

  January 2014

  A friend of mine offered to officiate for us as her gift to us. We used to work together, she is a very kind and generous person. So we don't have to do that counseling thing. But I don't think it's a bad idea. I guess it just depends on the method.

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• kellibastien member

  

  January 2014

  A bunch of my extended family is Catholic, and I know they've had to do the weekend retreats and meeting frequently with the Priest beforehand. So I could see THAT being really religion based? Maybe?

  
  

  But my FI and I attend a non-denominational church. It's literally called Life Church. So maybe it's something similar to what @pumpkinsandturkeys is? Hmm...

  
  

  Anyway, thanks ladies!

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