May 2014 Weddings

NWR: Long Family Vent

edited January 2014 in May 2014 Weddings
Sooo, one of my FBILs is driving me crazy right now and I need to blow off some steam.

He has always been a little selfish, but ever since he started dating his current gf, he has been worse. I'm not saying that she's making him be a douche -- but she's also fairly self-centered and smug, and I feel as though he's seeing that behaviour as more acceptable as a result of dating her, and is being more selfish and smug as a result. They haven't been together very long and they fight regularly (no one expects them to last), and we let him know that because they haven't been together long and because our wedding guest list and venue are SO small, she's not being invited. He was fine with that and said she'll probably be working anyway. Since then, he has asked three times if he can bring a date. When FI explains that it's an intimate, family wedding and we don't have room for anyone to bring dates (everyone will know each other and/or is related to each other), FBIL says, "Oh, ok. Just thought I'd check to see if things had changed." Preeeeetty sure things aren't going to change 4 months out, and it's not like our venue is magically going to expand.

He also has a key to our house for emergencies and select other occasions (wherein he has explicit permission to use it); otherwise, we've communicated to him that we expect him to knock and wait to be let in, in case we're not decent or whatever (and because he always shows up wayyyy earlier than he says he will). Tonight, he blatantly ignored that again and just waltzed in our house. I was annoyed because this is far from the first time, and said, "Thanks for knocking..." His response was that he rang the doorbell, and it pointed out that he knows that our doorbell has been broken for some time. He told me, "then fix your doorbell", to which I said, "That's not the point -- please knock when you come over." He proceeded to argue with me, saying over and over again, "Just fix the effing doorbell." Excuse me? I finally had to end it by telling him that I'm not arguing with him over the etiquette of entering my house, and he will be knocking the next time he comes over.

He has also been regularly breaking set plans with other family members to spend time with his gf instead, and even claims at times that he never had "real" plans to do the family stuff.

And the first time the gf met FI's whole family at Thanksgiving, they got up as soon as they finished eating and spent the next 2 hours watching a hockey game upstairs while everyone else ate dessert and had coffee... And then came down just to grab pie and go back up for overtime. Seriously?? It's not your house and there's a big family event, and you're just going to waltz off without saying anything to watch hockey? Nice.

Oh, and he had to drive FI to work the other day because our car was in the shop, and we found out afterward that he was still semi-drunk from the night before (he used a breathalyzer he owns and was almost double the legal limit). He could have asked FI to drive his car for him (they work at the same office), but didn't. Thanks for being a selfish dick and putting people's lives at risk, and not even giving FI the option of deciding whether or not he wanted to get in a car with a drunk driver because you decided not to tell him you were still drunk.

There's so much more, but I'll end the rant now because it's super long already. UGGHHHH.

ETA spacing because my iPad removed it


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Re: NWR: Long Family Vent

  • I'm confused... does fbil stand for fiances brother in law??that would mean he would be married to one of your fi siblings?and he also has a gf??Am I just reading this wrong???Or just dumb?lol
  • Haha FBIL = future brother-in-law


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  • Ok, I was totally confused.!!lol.I was wondering why the in law would be hanging around like that.haha
  • Wow! That's absolutely ridiculous! I'm sorry you need to be dealing with that. It's just common respect to knock when at someone's house. Geez, there are even times I knock on my own parents door before I come in when I visit. 

    But I kind of feel in the same boat as you about the family you're marrying into. My FI's family can be so obnoxiously crazy at times! This past Christmas Eve, his whole family got into a big blowup fight about this whole Duck Dynasty controversy that was/is going on which just led into bigger discussions/fights. I firmly believe everyone is entitled to their opinion. But why bring it up to people who are on the complete opposite side of you! AND on a holiday?? I was so upset something like that needed to ruin a holiday. I was literally texting my mom saying "What the heck am I doing? WHAT am i marrying into??" 

    Anyways.... Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with a jerk like that!!
  • edited January 2014
    @kellibastien Most of the time, I like FI's brothers (he has 3!). However, one of them is a loaf who is still babied by their dad and has no desire to do anything for himself -- or be, I don't know, responsible -- despite being older than me, and the above-mentioned one just lets his selfish side show too much at times (and his cheap side, but that's a whole other story haha).

    And I tooootally hear you on people bringing up stuff they know they shouldn't, especially at inappropriate times. I'm sorry you're in the same boat that way!

    Gotta love family..? Haha

    ETA: And all of the brothers are in the range of early to late 30s. You'd think they were teenagers sometimes!


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