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Wedding Invitations & Paper
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My mom is helping us pay, but no other parent.

jpence21jpence21 member
10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
So my mom has already helped with the venue deposit, and buying my dress.  She hasn't said it, but I know that she will help with more, but my parents are divorced and my dad hasn't offered any help, nor have my fiancé's parents.  His most likely won't offer any help.  I don't want my mom to feel like we didn't give her credit for her help on the invitations, but I don't know if it's considered rude to leave out other parents.

Have any of you run into this problem?  Opinions or "proper answer" greatly appreciated!! Thanks!
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Re: My mom is helping us pay, but no other parent.

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Paying does not equal hosting, so just because someone has or has not given you money doesn't determine whether they are on the invite.

    Who is hosting the wedding? I think the "Together with their parents" language could work for you here.
    image
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    My dad paid for our wedding. We still went with "Together with their families" to cover all bases so it would just be a non-issue all around. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The invitation's not a playbill.  No one other than the couple is entitled to be listed, either because they conceived and gave birth to them or because they're paying.

    If they are actually hosting, they should be listed as the persons inviting the guests to the wedding.

    Hosting means being the "point persons" of the wedding-issuing the invitations, receiving the responses, answering guests' questions, greeting them at the wedding, and seeing to it that their needs are satisfied.  It's possible to contribute money without doing these things; thus, paying does not equal hosting.  Nor is it the guests' business who is paying.
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  • jpence21jpence21 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Thanks Jen, I'll be the one responsible for all of those things, well my fiancé and I, so this helps!
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  • mrsbananymrsbanany member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My mom is paying for my entire wedding so she will obviously be listed on the invitation. However, my FI's sister just got married and her parents gave her some money for the wedding, she payed for a lot of it herself, and when she ordered the invitations she did not include her parents' names.  Her parents were extremely offended and she ended up paying extra for the invitations to get them re-printed with her parents on the invitation.  I would ask your mom how she feels about it. Who knows, "together with their parents" might be offensive because technically only 1 parent is helping.  It never hurts to ask your mom how she feels.  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited January 2014

    amandaj424 said:
    My mom is paying for my entire wedding so she will obviously be listed on the invitation. However, my FI's sister just got married and her parents gave her some money for the wedding, she payed for a lot of it herself, and when she ordered the invitations she did not include her parents' names.  Her parents were extremely offended and she ended up paying extra for the invitations to get them re-printed with her parents on the invitation.  I would ask your mom how she feels about it. Who knows, "together with their parents" might be offensive because technically only 1 parent is helping.  It never hurts to ask your mom how she feels.  
    Just because non-paying parents feel "offended" not to be listed as hosts on an invitation when they are not hosting is not in and of itself a reason to list them.

    If they're not going to be acting as "point persons" of the wedding, regardless of how much they are paying or not paying, their names do not belong on the invitation, because it is not being issued to "honor" them.  It's something they need to get over.
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  • mizangimizangi member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    My mother has contributed the most, my father second, his parents nada. We opted not to list any parents' names on the invite, only FI's and mine.  We will, of course, recognize parents' support (monetary or otherwise) verbally at the reception.
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  • jpence21jpence21 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Thanks all!! Very helpful!
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  • Last2BwedLast2Bwed member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    Jpence21, thank you for having this problem, too!!! I was wanting to be traditional, but wasn't sure what constituted "hosting" and what didn't. Thanks also to all of you ladies who chimed in! All of the suggestions are great!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2014
    The invitation is a note from the host (your mother) to the guests.  It is not a family tree.  It does not honor anyone except the person who receives it.

    Ms.  Mary Bridesmother
    requests the honour of your presence (pleasure of your company)
    at the marriage of her daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time
    Church (or venue)
    Address
    City, State
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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