How Late Is Too Late?

ShallowSeas · January 2014

We have booked our ceremony/reception space and the hours we can block off are 7-12. We had planned on having the wedding at 7:30 to about 8 and then a 45 minute cocktail 'hour' while the venue staff switches the ceremony space to the reception space, and then have dinner and dancing, but now I'm wondering if that's too late for a dinner. Guests wouldn't start getting their meals until almost 9. Do you think that's too late for dinner? Have you been to a wedding that late? Or should we talk to our venue and see if we can't move the times from 6-11 and have the ceremony begin at 6:30?

Maggie0829 · January 2014

I have been to a wedding that late before. In fact I don't think we started getting our plated meals until about 9:45pm. I hated it. The apps sucked (all sushi and I don't do sushi) and we had left our house at 5pm to be able to get to their 6pm ceremony which lasted an hour and then it was like a 45 minute drive to the reception and the cocktail hour was more like an hour and a half.

If I was you, I would move the whole thing back so that your ceremony starts at 6pm and your guests can be fed by 7:30/7:45ish.

kittypolishnbags · January 2014

Personally, 9 would be late. 8 would be the latest I'd do. This is why I'm skipping cocktail hour for my 6 PM wedding. I anticipate that we'll be done by 6:30 then people can hit the open bar and find their seats so they can start eating by 7.

JaxInBlue · January 2014

Is your timeline common in your family and/or your social circle? For me personally, dinner at 9:45 is a little late and would think about moving your timeline up if you can so that dinner is served closer to 7:00 or 8:00 - and maybe trying to cut your cocktail "hour" down to about 30 minutes. If you can't move the time, would your venue be willing to offer a limited selection of cocktail hour snacks before your ceremony?

ShallowSeas · January 2014

@Maggie0829 I'm highly considering moving it all back an hour or so because I really don't want my guests to have to eat dinner that late. Its kind of an inconvenience to them and I don't think I would be too happy about attending a wedding and eating that late.

@JaclyneD Its not common with either of our families or friends. I think the latest most of us eat dinner is 7-8. I wish I could cut down the cocktail hour but the venue told me it takes a good 45 minutes for them to switch the ceremony space to the reception space and get everything set up. I'll probably talk to my venue about moving their blocked time back an hour or so, that way we can get started around 6 or 6:30.

MyNameIsNot · January 2014

I do think 9:00 is a little late for dinner, but as part of the majority of people that normally have dinner at 7-8, I wouldn't be outraged if the meal was served at 9 but there were good apps available during the cocktail hour. Also, I think if most people know they're going to a wedding that starts at 7:30, they know dinner will be late and will therefore snack in the afternoon.

I would try to push up the ceremony to 7:00 to get dinner served by 8:30. If that isn't an option, I would look into having the ceremony with the room set for reception in order to cut down the cocktail hour. If neither of those works, make sure that the app spread is varied and substantial.

doeydo · January 2014

That is way too late for me to eat dinner. I would have stopped at Wendy's or Dairy Queen something on my way to your wedding to eat dinner. What about just having a dessert reception or something?

JoanE2012 · January 2014

severmilli12 said:

We have booked our ceremony/reception space and the hours we can block off are 7-12. We had planned on having the wedding at 7:30 to about 8 and then a 45 minute cocktail 'hour' while the venue staff switches the ceremony space to the reception space, and then have dinner and dancing, but now I'm wondering if that's too late for a dinner. Guests wouldn't start getting their meals until almost 9. Do you think that's too late for dinner? Have you been to a wedding that late? Or should we talk to our venue and see if we can't move the times from 6-11 and have the ceremony begin at 6:30?

I'd definitely see if you can start earlier. I hate eating that late...I like to have some time to digest my meal!

lyndausvi · January 2014

It really depends on your social group. It would not be too late for me. We often go to dinner after 8. By the time entrees comes it's close to 9pm.

Basically as long as there is a decent flow from ceremony to cocktail hour to dinner with any gaps I would not think much about having entrees at that hour.

That all said, if you can move it the time up and hour it would be better.

Ven&Radio · January 2014

I think 9 is pushing it a bit. I normally eat dinner around 7-8, so I'd personally be ok with it (esp. if you have a cocktail hour with apps). However, I feel like most people think of "dinner time" as being more like 5-7 and would be really unhappy with a 9pm meal. Could you ask some of your close friends/relatives for their thoughts on it? Kind of poll your crowd?

JennyColada · January 2014

Do you feel like you have to do a plated dinner? If your wedding is 7/7:30, I'd eat dinner before I came. What if you just did snacks and a seated dessert?

You aren't required to serve a meal.

lyndausvi · January 2014

Jennycolada said:

Do you feel like you have to do a plated dinner? If your wedding is 7/7:30, I'd eat dinner before I came. What if you just did snacks and a seated dessert? You aren't required to serve a meal.

again it really depends on your social group. It would not occur to me to eat first because every wedding I've ever attended provided a meal regardless of the start time and we eat after 8pm often.

Mitch617 · January 2014

We have booked our ceremony/reception space and the hours we can block off are 7-12.

What do you mean the hours you can block off? Did you check if changing times was an option before you booked?
It depends on your crowd but in my family that would be really late. We are probably doing 5-10, maybe 6-11. If you are stuck at 7-12, I agree to make sure the apps are substantial.

pinkshorts27 · January 2014

I eat dinner at 6pm almost every night.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

That would not be late for me and my friends, but most of us live in NYC and I swear, I eat dinner after 10pm at least two nights a week. Restaurants here are empty until 8:30.

But it sounds like it is not normal for your family and friends. So, I'd try to move the ceremony up a little earlier. If you can't do that, make sure you have very substantial apps at cocktail hour.

RebeccaB88 · January 2014

For my circle, anything after 8 would be too late. I would go with your plan to move the timeline up.

ShallowSeas · January 2014

@mitch617 the venue rents the room from 11-4 or 7-12 for weddings.

ShallowSeas · January 2014

I called the venue and we're able to move the ceremony/reception earlier!! I thought 6 would be a good time, but FI is apparently superstitious and thought 6:30 is a better time that way we are on the upswing...so 6:30 it is!

ei34 · January 2014

In my area (NYC/LI), cocktail hour typically goes from 7-8 and the reception is from 8-12. The entrée comes out around 9:30, but no one is ravenously hungry, because there's an abundance of food at the cocktail hour, and there's a pasta course and a salad course before dinner.

So: the time seems perfectly normal to me. I'd just make sure guests had enough to eat before dinner was served. Good luck!

chasingsunlight · January 2014

This sounds almost exactly like my post a while back lol! My venue is the same way, but we will be able to move if no one books the earlier time slot. That said, I can't get married before sundown anyway since I am having a Jewish ceremony. For this reason, my family is used to having weddings start somewhat late. I think if the people closest to you are okay with the timeline, and the cocktail hour is good, there's no reason to worry.

Another thing to consider, we are serving light apps and drinks prior to the ceremony. I think that would help taper guests' hunger.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

Maggie0829 said:

I have been to a wedding that late before. In fact I don't think we started getting our plated meals until about 9:45pm. I hated it. The apps sucked (all sushi and I don't do sushi) and we had left our house at 5pm to be able to get to their 6pm ceremony which lasted an hour and then it was like a 45 minute drive to the reception and the cocktail hour was more like an hour and a half.

If I was you, I would move the whole thing back so that your ceremony starts at 6pm and your guests can be fed by 7:30/7:45ish.

This. I personally think 9:30pm or 10pm is too late to begin eating dinner, even with apps beforehand. Depending on drive times, your guests will be coming to your ceremony site 45mins-1hr early and that doesn't include the time it takes them to actually get dressed for your wedding.

How Late Is Too Late?

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