NWR: Overly aggressive dog + 3 yo DS

Re: NWR: Overly aggressive dog + 3 yo DS

• JCbride2015 member

  

  January 2014

  Wow, what a headache.  *All the wine*

  
  

  This dog sounds like a real danger to your son.  And FPILs aren't taking responsibility.  I really do think you should cancel this visit and tell FPILs that until they find a way to control the dog, your family cannot visit.  It's a safety issue at this point.

  
  

  I know that would cause drama, but I just don't really see another option.  Going up there and you playing human shield the whole time doesn't sound like a good plan; and if Fi is going to explode at his parents anyway if you go, maybe it's better to just have the discussion rationally over the phone.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• melbelleup member

  

  January 2014

  Well, get the wine out. Unfortunately because it's not your dog you can't really fix the dog. BUT you should definitely say something to FMIL. I would just mention that DS is afraid of their dog. Make sure you watch DS at all times. If the dog does go to growl or nip him this time, I would ask them to move the dog to another room or put it in it's crate. I'm assuming your son is young, therefore the dog has never been around young ones before. Due to this, it's probably best it is put in a separate room or only out when someone is watching the dog and it is being calm. Luckily my puppy (who's 1) and my nephew (who's going to be 2) get along great even though this is the only little kid my pup has ever been around minus market days when I let little kids pet him and feed him.
  
  Because they don't have young ones, I would be super protective. Not all dogs are the same though and it sounds like you might have to teach him this. Although your dog lets your son do whatever to it and not bite, this dog is not your dog. Therefore he has to be more reserved around the dog, not run around the dog, not hang on the dog, not step on the dog, not look at the dog unless he's calm and approach him with his hand in a fist and let the dog smell him first.
  
   Although your son is used to your dog, he needs to be shown that other dogs are not as well behaved. I've been bitten by numerous dogs throughout my lovely 24 years. Some were my own dogs, some were my parent's friends' dogs. All have been trained, with numerous titles on them. Some dogs just don't plain like kids, my oldest dog (who's 10) included.
  

  

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• afox007 member

  

  January 2014

  Would it be possible to have FI talk to his parents about at least putting up a baby gate to keep DS and the dog separated? My brother recently brought home a new dog that sounds the same and my grandma bought a baby gate and just moves it around the house all day to keep the dog from her, my 5 year old sister, and my parents good dog. 

  

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• melbelleup member

  

  January 2014

  afox007 said:

  Would it be possible to have FI talk to his parents about at least putting up a baby gate to keep DS and the dog separated? My brother recently brought home a new dog that sounds the same and my grandma bought a baby gate and just moves it around the house all day to keep the dog from her, my 5 year old sister, and my parents good dog. 

  The only thing with this is sometimes a baby gate doesn't keep a dog separated. My puppy has been able to jump baby gates since he was 8 weeks old.. at 10 inches tall and 10 pounds. It might work though as long as the dog doesn't figure out how to get over the gate. Sadly for me, this will never be an option with my puppy. My other dog however, does not climb or jump over baby gates.
  

  

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• tmclawchick member

  

  January 2014

  
   

  melbelleup said:

  Well, get the wine out. Cheers! Unfortunately because it's not your dog you can't really fix the dog. BUT you should definitely say something to FMIL. I would just mention that DS is afraid of their dog. Make sure you watch DS at all times. If the dog does go to growl or nip him this time, I would ask them to move the dog to another room or put it in it's crate.They no longer have a crate because the dog "whined too much"...FI suggested them keeping the dog in their finished basement, but their response was that he'd tear it apart... I'm assuming your son is young, yes, 3. therefore the dog has never been around young ones before. Due to this, it's probably best it is put in a separate room or only out when someone is watching the dog and it is being calm. agree! Luckily my puppy (who's 1) and my nephew (who's going to be 2) get along great even though this is the only little kid my pup has ever been around minus market days when I let little kids pet him and feed him.
  
  Because they don't have young ones, I would be super protective. I'm gearing up now-- anyone have ninja stars? Not all dogs are the same though and it sounds like you might have to teach him this. Although your dog lets your son do whatever to it and not bite,DS knows better... he's never really done anything harmful to our dog... we made sure to set that expectation early on. this dog is not your dog. Therefore he has to be more reserved around the dog, not run around the dog, not hang on the dog, not step on the dog, not look at the dog unless he's calm and approach him with his hand in a fist and let the dog smell him first.
  All great suggestions, which we tried in November... unfortunately this dog wanted to lunge at DS every chance he got.

  
   Although your son is used to your dog, he needs to be shown that other dogs are not as well behaved. I've been bitten by numerous dogs throughout my lovely 24 years. Some were my own dogs, some were my parent's friends' dogs. All have been trained, with numerous titles on them. Some dogs just don't plain like kids, my oldest dog (who's 10) included.
  

  
  I put responses in (hopefully) a different color... I guess I'm just at a loss right now because we've made sure that from the time DS could crawl that he and our dog were super sweet to each other. They're both pretty mellow, but the problem with FI's family's dog is that it doesn't seem to matter how mellow you are around him; he just wants to jump and bite. *chugs ALL the wine*

   

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• melbelleup member

  

  January 2014

  tmclawchick said:

  
   

  melbelleup said:

  Well, get the wine out. Cheers! Unfortunately because it's not your dog you can't really fix the dog. BUT you should definitely say something to FMIL. I would just mention that DS is afraid of their dog. Make sure you watch DS at all times. If the dog does go to growl or nip him this time, I would ask them to move the dog to another room or put it in it's crate.They no longer have a crate because the dog "whined too much"...FI suggested them keeping the dog in their finished basement, but their response was that he'd tear it apart... I'm assuming your son is young, yes, 3. therefore the dog has never been around young ones before. Due to this, it's probably best it is put in a separate room or only out when someone is watching the dog and it is being calm. agree! Luckily my puppy (who's 1) and my nephew (who's going to be 2) get along great even though this is the only little kid my pup has ever been around minus market days when I let little kids pet him and feed him.
  
  Because they don't have young ones, I would be super protective. I'm gearing up now-- anyone have ninja stars? Not all dogs are the same though and it sounds like you might have to teach him this. Although your dog lets your son do whatever to it and not bite,DS knows better... he's never really done anything harmful to our dog... we made sure to set that expectation early on. this dog is not your dog. Therefore he has to be more reserved around the dog, not run around the dog, not hang on the dog, not step on the dog, not look at the dog unless he's calm and approach him with his hand in a fist and let the dog smell him first.
  All great suggestions, which we tried in November... unfortunately this dog wanted to lunge at DS every chance he got.

  
   Although your son is used to your dog, he needs to be shown that other dogs are not as well behaved. I've been bitten by numerous dogs throughout my lovely 24 years. Some were my own dogs, some were my parent's friends' dogs. All have been trained, with numerous titles on them. Some dogs just don't plain like kids, my oldest dog (who's 10) included.
  

  
  I put responses in (hopefully) a different color... I guess I'm just at a loss right now because we've made sure that from the time DS could crawl that he and our dog were super sweet to each other. They're both pretty mellow, but the problem with FI's family's dog is that it doesn't seem to matter how mellow you are around him; he just wants to jump and bite. *chugs ALL the wine*

  UGH! Can I just say... who the heck gets rid of a dog crate... what do they do when they leave the house and no one is home with the dog? That is exactly what they should do when you visit. Treat it the same way. OR someone put the dog on a leash, tie it around their waist and have a dog for the visit.
  
  Okay, I suck, did you mention what type of breed this new dog is?
  

  

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• tmclawchick member

  

  January 2014

  This situation is a shitshow and I'm pissed. If FILs actually took some time to train this dog this wouldn't be an issue. If they couldn't handle that, they shouldn't have bought him in the first place. So effing typical of them.

   

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• tmclawchick member

  

  January 2014

  melbelleup said:

  tmclawchick said:

  
   

  melbelleup said:

  Well, get the wine out. Cheers! Unfortunately because it's not your dog you can't really fix the dog. BUT you should definitely say something to FMIL. I would just mention that DS is afraid of their dog. Make sure you watch DS at all times. If the dog does go to growl or nip him this time, I would ask them to move the dog to another room or put it in it's crate.They no longer have a crate because the dog "whined too much"...FI suggested them keeping the dog in their finished basement, but their response was that he'd tear it apart... I'm assuming your son is young, yes, 3. therefore the dog has never been around young ones before. Due to this, it's probably best it is put in a separate room or only out when someone is watching the dog and it is being calm. agree! Luckily my puppy (who's 1) and my nephew (who's going to be 2) get along great even though this is the only little kid my pup has ever been around minus market days when I let little kids pet him and feed him.
  
  Because they don't have young ones, I would be super protective. I'm gearing up now-- anyone have ninja stars? Not all dogs are the same though and it sounds like you might have to teach him this. Although your dog lets your son do whatever to it and not bite,DS knows better... he's never really done anything harmful to our dog... we made sure to set that expectation early on. this dog is not your dog. Therefore he has to be more reserved around the dog, not run around the dog, not hang on the dog, not step on the dog, not look at the dog unless he's calm and approach him with his hand in a fist and let the dog smell him first.
  All great suggestions, which we tried in November... unfortunately this dog wanted to lunge at DS every chance he got.

  
   Although your son is used to your dog, he needs to be shown that other dogs are not as well behaved. I've been bitten by numerous dogs throughout my lovely 24 years. Some were my own dogs, some were my parent's friends' dogs. All have been trained, with numerous titles on them. Some dogs just don't plain like kids, my oldest dog (who's 10) included.
  

  
  I put responses in (hopefully) a different color... I guess I'm just at a loss right now because we've made sure that from the time DS could crawl that he and our dog were super sweet to each other. They're both pretty mellow, but the problem with FI's family's dog is that it doesn't seem to matter how mellow you are around him; he just wants to jump and bite. *chugs ALL the wine*

  UGH! Can I just say... who the heck gets rid of a dog crate... what do they do when they leave the house and no one is home with the dog? That is exactly what they should do when you visit. Treat it the same way. OR someone put the dog on a leash, tie it around their waist and have a dog for the visit.
  
  Okay, I suck, did you mention what type of breed this new dog is?
  

  This is priceless. Our first night there in November, we went out to dinner. When we came back the dog had jumped up on the dining room table, knocked FSIL's laptop onto the floor, and tore the centerpiece they had on the table apart. Peed on the chair. We got home and everyone's yelling and upset, but there was no follow-through with the dog. He just sat in the corner and watched everyone yelling about their damaged stuff. Shitshow.

  He's some sort of mix... a little bit of beagle and I think a few other breeds?
  

   

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• melbelleup member

  

  January 2014

  tmclawchick said:

  melbelleup said:

  tmclawchick said:

  
   

  melbelleup said:

  Well, get the wine out. Cheers! Unfortunately because it's not your dog you can't really fix the dog. BUT you should definitely say something to FMIL. I would just mention that DS is afraid of their dog. Make sure you watch DS at all times. If the dog does go to growl or nip him this time, I would ask them to move the dog to another room or put it in it's crate.They no longer have a crate because the dog "whined too much"...FI suggested them keeping the dog in their finished basement, but their response was that he'd tear it apart... I'm assuming your son is young, yes, 3. therefore the dog has never been around young ones before. Due to this, it's probably best it is put in a separate room or only out when someone is watching the dog and it is being calm. agree! Luckily my puppy (who's 1) and my nephew (who's going to be 2) get along great even though this is the only little kid my pup has ever been around minus market days when I let little kids pet him and feed him.
  
  Because they don't have young ones, I would be super protective. I'm gearing up now-- anyone have ninja stars? Not all dogs are the same though and it sounds like you might have to teach him this. Although your dog lets your son do whatever to it and not bite,DS knows better... he's never really done anything harmful to our dog... we made sure to set that expectation early on. this dog is not your dog. Therefore he has to be more reserved around the dog, not run around the dog, not hang on the dog, not step on the dog, not look at the dog unless he's calm and approach him with his hand in a fist and let the dog smell him first.
  All great suggestions, which we tried in November... unfortunately this dog wanted to lunge at DS every chance he got.

  
   Although your son is used to your dog, he needs to be shown that other dogs are not as well behaved. I've been bitten by numerous dogs throughout my lovely 24 years. Some were my own dogs, some were my parent's friends' dogs. All have been trained, with numerous titles on them. Some dogs just don't plain like kids, my oldest dog (who's 10) included.
  

  
  I put responses in (hopefully) a different color... I guess I'm just at a loss right now because we've made sure that from the time DS could crawl that he and our dog were super sweet to each other. They're both pretty mellow, but the problem with FI's family's dog is that it doesn't seem to matter how mellow you are around him; he just wants to jump and bite. *chugs ALL the wine*

  UGH! Can I just say... who the heck gets rid of a dog crate... what do they do when they leave the house and no one is home with the dog? That is exactly what they should do when you visit. Treat it the same way. OR someone put the dog on a leash, tie it around their waist and have a dog for the visit.
  
  Okay, I suck, did you mention what type of breed this new dog is?
  

  This is priceless. Our first night there in November, we went out to dinner. When we came back the dog had jumped up on the dining room table, knocked FSIL's laptop onto the floor, and tore the centerpiece they had on the table apart. Peed on the chair. We got home and everyone's yelling and upset, but there was no follow-through with the dog. He just sat in the corner and watched everyone yelling about their damaged stuff. Shitshow.

  He's some sort of mix... a little bit of beagle and I think a few other breeds?
  

  Well then... they dug their own grave. Seriously, put the dog in the bathroom... there's not too much they can damage there
  

  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  January 2014

  I ditto PPs. I think you should skip this visit, and have your FI tell his parents why.
  
  It's also worth pointing out that if the dog attacks your son, and he needs medical attention, they're going to have to register the dog as dangerous and/or possibly put it down.
  
  Actions have consequnces. If your (lack of) action is to not train your dog and allow it to be wild and aggressive, the consequence is that you don't get to see your son and his family.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  January 2014

  You should cancel and let them get ticked. Your Fi tried to work something out with his parents, but they are more worried about their basement than they are about your son getting hurt. Dogs are fast. What's your FIL going to do after the dog takes a chunk out of your son's face? Before you agree to visit them again, make sure they will either lock the dog up or board him. If you absolutely must see them, meet them halfway at a restaurant.  

  
  

  Gift ideas for the FILs: gift cards at boarding facilities, obedience classes, a few sessions with a 'dog trainer,  a large dog crate etc...

  
  

                     

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• pittiemama14 member

  

  January 2014

  Cancel this visit asap, and have FI let them know you will not be visiting until they either get the dog under control, or find a way to get it out of the house while you visit. This is a very serious saftey issue and your son should not be around this dog at all. If the dog really wants to he will get to your son eventually, and it will not end well. I am not exaggerating when I say that by being around that dog your son's life is in danger. I have worked with and been around some dogs who had serious aggression issues, and when it's directed at children it is even more dangerous because children that young don't know how to react to an attack. Even if it's a small dog it can still do alot of damage to a child. Please don't expose your son to this dog, and make sure FIL's are aware of the reason.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  January 2014

  ditto pttiemama14

  And even if the dog never attacks, your DS is being emotionally traumatized by the threat. So are you. Your FILs have me fuming, now.

                     

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