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Small wedding short engagement

lcarey316lcarey316 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Reception Forum
My fianc are planning a short engagement with a guest list of less than 100 family and close family friends. What is the etiquette as far as showers, lingerie showers and possibly having a later reception for all the guests we couldn't invite to the ceremony?
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Re: Small wedding short engagement

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    Knottie1450123632Knottie1450123632 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    showers are given by friends.  a reception is a thank you for people who came to the ceremony.  you can have "hey lets celebrate marriage of___" party after but it wont be a receeption which means none of the stuff at reception should be at the party.  such as wedding dress, garter toss, first dance.  HTH
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    1. Any bridal shower or bachelorette party is hosted for the bride. If no one offers to host one for you, you don't get one.
    2. The only guests at the shower and bachelorette party should be from that list of 100 people that you are inviting to your ceremony
    3. A reception "later" (I'm assuming you mean at a later date in which you can afford to host more guests) is not appropriate
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    Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited November 2012
    100 isn't that small.

    If someone offers to throw you an engagement party, shower, or bachelorette party, you may accept.  The host should ask you for a list of guests you wish to invite.  First find out how many they are comfortable hosting, then give them names of people who you will be inviting to the wedding that you would also like to attend the party.  Not all wedding guests have to be invited to the engagement party/shower/bachelorette, but everyone invited to these parties MUST also be invited to the wedding.

    Also, you should only invite people to both the ceremony AND reception.  It's rude to invite people to only one or the other.  However, if your ceremony is TRULY private (less than about 15 people including immediate family only), then it's acceptable to have a larger reception after the ceremony.  

    Anything that you do later for people not invited to the ceremony/reception should not be wedding related.  It's okay to have a barbecue, cookout, housewarming, or whatever to celebrate your marriage, but you should avoid anything that feels like a "reception re-do."  
    DSC_9275
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    As Liatris says, the only proper way pre-wedding parties happen is if someone offers to host them for you.  If you have a party immediately following your ceremony to celebrate your wedding, that is indeed your reception and it is a thank-you to your guests for their attendance at your ceremony.  That would be the time for any "wedding" rituals like a wedding cake, bouquet toss, and so on.

    There can certainly be a celebration later, but it would not be a "wedding reception."
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    alithebridealithebride member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_small-wedding-short-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:499ec408-ac4b-478d-944c-290a4af895c3Post:bfcb4894-14f8-4916-af53-dd060f4b29dd">Small wedding short engagement</a>:
    [QUOTE]
    What is the etiquette as far as showers: someone else throws you a shower-you dont throw your own. 

    lingerie showers: huh? how is that different from the first one? in any case same rule applies

    and possibly having a later reception for all the guests we couldn't invite to the ceremony?
    no. you have ONE wedding reception after the ceremony. anything else is just a party-no wedding stuff.

    Posted by lcarey316[/QUOTE]

     

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    amyprewittamyprewitt member
    First Comment
    I wholeheartedly disagree. Rules were meant to be broken! If there's one thing I can't stand it's for someone to tell me what's "not appropriate." My fiance and I are having a family only ceremony (less than 10 people) and then a month later hosting a large wedding reception for people to celebrate our marriage (which IS the entire point of a reception, not just to feed them for coming to the wedding...) You have to do what works best for you, your budget and your timeline. As our wedding reception is also a going away party, I'm planning on combining the best of both worlds: wearing my wedding dress, having cake, dinner and drinks for everyone. We're not doing bouquet toss, speeches, etc. however, but that's mostly because those are things I wanted to avoid regardless...
    Then again, we have to turn around and re-do the entire ceremony and reception in England with his friends and family, so the idea of "not appropriate" is completely lost on me.
    You do you, girl!
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    amyprewitt said:
    I wholeheartedly disagree. Rules were meant to be broken! If there's one thing I can't stand it's for someone to tell me what's "not appropriate." My fiance and I are having a family only ceremony (less than 10 people) and then a month later hosting a large wedding reception for people to celebrate our marriage (which IS the entire point of a reception, not just to feed them for coming to the wedding...) You have to do what works best for you, your budget and your timeline. As our wedding reception is also a going away party, I'm planning on combining the best of both worlds: wearing my wedding dress, having cake, dinner and drinks for everyone. We're not doing bouquet toss, speeches, etc. however, but that's mostly because those are things I wanted to avoid regardless...
    Then again, we have to turn around and re-do the entire ceremony and reception in England with his friends and family, so the idea of "not appropriate" is completely lost on me.
    You do you, girl!
    No, it's not.  The reception is a thank-you for the guests.  It's not a party in honor of you, otherwise you wouldn't be able to host it. 



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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    How creative, the troll resurrected a zombie thread to spew their bad advice on...

    ~*~*~*~*~

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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    @amyprewitt your attitude is gross.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    amyprewitt You should charge your guests for attending too! That way you can make some money on the whole thing. 
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    How nice to know you don't give a damn about respecting or caring for anyone but yourself. Amy Prewitt. 
    image
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