Bridesmaid Doesn't Seem Interested in Buying Her Dress

Re: Bridesmaid Doesn't Seem Interested in Buying Her Dress

• manateehugger member

  

  January 2014

  Do you think there's a reason behind this? Like, she can't afford the dress and is too embarrassed to say anything? Have you guys had a non-wedding related chat recently? If you can't/don't want to offer to pay for the dress, I'd just send out a last reminder of the deadline, and then leave it alone. If she wont get the dress, she's taking herself out of the wedding party.

  

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• MrsChicGeek member

  

  January 2014

  I'm getting the feeling she doesn't want to be in the bridal party. She set aside time to do a lot of things over her break, but having her say "oh, I forgot" made it seem like I wasn't a priority.

  
  

  When I asked her to be my bridesmaid, it was because I've known her since 3rd grade. We are still very good friends though we don't talk all the time. That was okay with me, it was enough of a friendship to want her to be in my wedding.

  
  

  Having her react so unenthusiastically makes me regret asking her. I hate that I feel that way. 

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  January 2014

  No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. Those college breaks seem so long and then they're over before you know it. Also, you're asking your bms to order their dresses right after the holidays. Your friend may have ditched you because she was short on funds. By any chance, did you ask her for a budget, privately, before you picked the dress? 
  

  
  

  You should make sure she has the info she needs to order her dress, along with the shops deadline. You could offer to help pay for her dress, if money is an issue. Otherwise, don't remind and babysit her. If she doesn't get her dress in time for the wedding, she will be a guest.
  

  
  

  If your bm backs out, you'll have uneven sides. It doesn't matter. The gm and bm can walk single file. Or one of the men can escort one of the moms or other VIP down the aisle. 
  

                     

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• MrsChicGeek member

  

  January 2014

  Yes, to clarify, I didn't expect to be #1 on her break. I'm also a college student which was why I had to do it over break because it was easiest. I don't expect her to be as excited, my feelings were just hurt that she completely forgot about shopping entirely. I told her the prices of the dresses and she said they were very reasonable, so I don't think that's the issue. I wouldn't have chosen to buy dresses after a holiday but it's difficult to plan when school breaks are involved.

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• aurianna member

  

  January 2014

  MrsChicGeek said:

  Yes, to clarify, I didn't expect to be #1 on her break. I'm also a college student which was why I had to do it over break because it was easiest. I don't expect her to be as excited, my feelings were just hurt that she completely forgot about shopping entirely. I told her the prices of the dresses and she said they were very reasonable, so I don't think that's the issue. I wouldn't have chosen to buy dresses after a holiday but it's difficult to plan when school breaks are involved.

  Did you ask her for her dress budget, individually, prior to picking out the dresses to look at?
  
  Sometimes it's easier for someone to say "my budget is $100" rather than when a bride says "the dresses are $200. Does that sound good?" "ummmmmmmmm.... yes?"
  There's always the chance it's still expensive but she she was embarrassed or didn't want to disappoint you since you'd picked some dresses off.
  
  
  Is she generally a procrastinator? There are almost three weeks left. That's like a year in procrastination land.
  
  Once you've made sure that the budget is not the issue by getting her budget, I'd just remind her once more and let it go.
  
  Good luck!
  

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• MrsChicGeek member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  We did talk about the prices of the dresses, when I mentioned the prices of the others she said that was very reasonable and her text seemed very genuine. I can't remember if I had talked to her about budget or not. That's why I didn't answer that question. I haven't really talked budget because I let the girls pick the dresses. 

  
  

   Anyways, I still understand what everyone is saying, because it IS expensive for a dress you only wear once. It's definitely true that it seems like a year in procrastination time, haha. When you put it that way it seems a little different.

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• Viczaesar member

  

  January 2014

  Honestly, she can probably still get a dress and have it in time if she orders it after January 31.  I wouldn't worry about it; if she has the dress by the time the wedding rolls around she's still in, and if not she's taken herself out. 
  

  
  
  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2014

  She knows the deadline.  You should have asked her for a budget instead of giving her one, but it seems that you aren't going to fix that one.  

  
  

  If she doesn't get the dress by 31st, she can pay the rush fee, risk it, or figure something out.  If she doesn't get it by the wedding, she's removed herself.  There's nothing more you can do right now.

  
  

  I don't understand what you mean by wanting your WP to be balanced.  Are you concerned about mental health issues?  

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• MrsChicGeek member

  

  January 2014

  Balanced as in even on both sides.

  
  

  Her dress hasn't even been picked yet, so I'm not stepping on her toes with some outrageous price and forcing her to pay it. Again, dresses were set aside for her to try. I communicated that I didn't know the prices of the two dresses, but let her know the price range of the other dresses. She responded back positively. 

  
  

  Anyways, thank you to everyone else for the advice, I'll communicate that I'm willing to help if needed. Otherwise, sounds like I just need to wait and see what she does :]

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  MrsChicGeek said:

  Balanced as in even on both sides.

  
  

  Her dress hasn't even been picked yet, so I'm not stepping on her toes with some outrageous price and forcing her to pay it. Again, dresses were set aside for her to try. I communicated that I didn't know the prices of the two dresses, but let her know the price range of the other dresses. She responded back positively. 

  
  

  Anyways, thank you to everyone else for the advice, I'll communicate that I'm willing to help if needed. Otherwise, sounds like I just need to wait and see what she does :]

  The bolded is something I wouldn't worry about.  There is no rule that sides have to be even; nor does it really matter who walks back up the aisle with who as long as they get along.  And as far as photos go, isn't it more important that the photos be of people who were there for you and supported you, whether or not there are the same number of people on both sides?
  

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• MrsChicGeek member

  

  January 2014

  Well I said ideally because I won't be crying over it if it's not. I had just liked the idea of five and five on each side. I don't think that's unreasonable to have wanted. 

  
  

  I'm not trying to say I just want her up there to be picture perfect. It did sound like that. 

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