Traditional wedding?

TiaTea · January 2014

What do you consider a traditional wedding ?

I always thought that traditional wedding ( TW ) is something more of a DIY . Something that resembles how things were in the past. For example non white dress, having the wedding in one's ( or parent's house) , self catering, help from friends and family, etc.
Then I notice that what other people call a TW is more of a ball. (Something that Cindarella would have, only Cindarella married a prince.) I don't see how inviting everybody you know and his mother is traditional. Or geting married in a fancy princess-like dress. Or dressing people a certain way , just to decorate your wedding . Or hiring people to do everything. Or having hundreds of staged pictures and video. The list goes on.

Describe what you imagine when somebody says "traditional wedding"?
Do you have pictures of your grandparents/great grandparents weddings? What do they look like?

Jells2dot0 · January 2014

I see a traditional wedding as one that takes place either where you are living or where you grew up, with people in attendance to see you exchange vows, followed by some sort of reception to thank your guests for attending. This can either be a super luxurious affair or a simple DIY wedding.

whitney37354 · January 2014

My maternal grandparents went to the preacher's house on Saturday afternoon in their Sunday best to get married. My parent's were married in the church, simple candlelight ceremony (probably less than 50 people), with the reception at my grandparent's house.

To me, traditional is what I went for, with a twist: I had the long white gown & veil, bridesmaids gowns & bouquets matched, cake & punch reception with light finger foods. Our twist was having a live band during the ceremony & candles on our traditional tiered cake.

doeydo · January 2014

Traditional wedding, to me, would mean a white dress & veil, ceremony in a place of worship, father walking bride down the aisle, GMs and BMs, wedding cake, etc.
For her wedding, my grandma wore a ballgown and had an updo. My grandpa wore a tuxedo. I don't have pictures of my great-grandparents' wedding, but I think my great-grandma wore a shorter dress because it was the style at the time but she hated it.

TiaTea · January 2014

@jells2dot0
looking at your picture , I would consider it untraditional, because it's at a beach. As far as I know, beaches were not traditionally used as wedding locations. But they are now. I wonder when did this start? And how long it has to be , to be considered traditional?
Beautiful picture, BTW

@whitney37354 , @doeydo

I looked at old pictures. The first ones with the bride in white and bridesmaids ( also in white ) , groom and groomsmen in tuxedos, were from the 50s. And that is one side of the family. the suburban side.
The suburban part of the family were more like the left side of the picture below. The downtown side are in something more like the right http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ipb6bEYTFu0/TSKuOHRIwPI/AAAAAAAAAeU/1hjWPSNUMzM/s1600/audrey2.jpg ( I am not related to Audrey H

and they were like that all the way through the 60s and 70s. Men in suits. not tuxes.

The ones from the 30s and maybe 20s don't have white dresses, but hte guys are still in suits.
Were yours in white?

http://www.adoredvintage.com/blog/nov2012/vintage1920sweddingphoto_2.jpg ( not my family) , but something like that

Since I see bridesmaids appearing in the 50s, doess it mean that they were not traditional in USA before that?
Tuxedos are pretty much the norm now, but are they considered traditional? Were they more of a British , or upper class thing?

The big puffy gowns start so show up in the 80s. ( in my family) And all the way from there all the men are in tuxes , all the brides have BMs in colorful dresses.
When did the colorful bridesmaids dresses become popular? Are they a tradition, or a trend?
Do you see BM and GM on your familes' old pictures? Something before WWII, or even before WWI?
Can you tell if the wedding receptions are in venues , or in someone's back yard?
Was day or evening wedding more popular?

Jells2dot0 · January 2014

TiaTea said:

@jells2dot0
looking at your picture , I would consider it untraditional, because it's at a beach. As far as I know, beaches were not traditionally used as wedding locations. But they are now. I wonder when did this start? And how long it has to be , to be considered traditional?
Beautiful picture, BTW

STUCK IN BOX- @TiaTea- I know in no way consider my wedding to be traditional. So, I personally would say that a beach is a non-tradition wedding. When I originally responded, I was describing what I thought was traditional, but was not referring to my own wedding

Jen4948 · January 2014

My definition of "Traditional wedding" would be one at a house of worship, hotel, large restaurant or banquet hall, using a mainstream service (the couple haven't written their own service or vows). Each of the couple is attended by members of their own gender; the women carry bouquets. The bride wears a white dress and veil and carries a bouquet of flowers; the groom a suit or tux. The music is common, such as "Here comes the bride" or Pachelbel's Canon in D. The bride has a diamond engagement ring and gold wedding ring.

But that's me.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

A "traditional wedding" really changes with the times. In the old days a traditional wedding was that of two people in their Sunday best getting married quickly by their minister and then maybe a small celebration afterwards. Then as the times changed and things became more lavish, so to speak, so did weddings. I mean what is seen as "traditional" now would probably have been seen as nontraditional or unique, and maybe even crazy, 100 years ago.

For me, I guess a traditional ceremony is where a bride wears a white gown, the couple gets married by an officiant (whether it be religious or not), surrounded by their friends and family at a venue of their choosing regardless of location, with a reception following. I would say that a nontraditional wedding, in my eyes, would be an elopement.

CJandRyan · January 2014

To me traditional is a formal ceremony at a formal venue, not necessarily a church it could be a banquet hall or event center, matching BMs and matching GM, bride in white walking down the aisle to Canon in D. I think of the bridal party entrance, cake cutting, garter/bouquet toss, first dance, mother/father dance, etc. at the reception to be traditional customs also. Aside from our first dance and me wearing white(ish), we're not doing any of these things!

whitney37354 · January 2014

TiaTea said:

@whitney37354 , @doeydo

I looked at old pictures. The first ones with the bride in white and bridesmaids ( also in white ) , groom and groomsmen in tuxedos, were from the 50s. And that is one side of the family. the suburban side.
The suburban part of the family were more like the left side of the picture below. The downtown side are in something more like the right http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ipb6bEYTFu0/TSKuOHRIwPI/AAAAAAAAAeU/1hjWPSNUMzM/s1600/audrey2.jpg ( I am not related to Audrey H and they were like that all the way through the 60s and 70s. Men in suits. not tuxes.

The ones from the 30s and maybe 20s don't have white dresses, but hte guys are still in suits.
Were yours in white?

http://www.adoredvintage.com/blog/nov2012/vintage1920sweddingphoto_2.jpg ( not my family) , but something like that

Since I see bridesmaids appearing in the 50s, doess it mean that they were not traditional in USA before that?
Tuxedos are pretty much the norm now, but are they considered traditional? Were they more of a British , or upper class thing?

The big puffy gowns start so show up in the 80s. ( in my family) And all the way from there all the men are in tuxes , all the brides have BMs in colorful dresses.
When did the colorful bridesmaids dresses become popular? Are they a tradition, or a trend?
Do you see BM and GM on your familes' old pictures? Something before WWII, or even before WWI?
Can you tell if the wedding receptions are in venues , or in someone's back yard?
Was day or evening wedding more popular?

My grandmother wore a light blue Sunday dress, my grandfather wore a suit. My mom wore a white gown, my dad wore a black suit with white shirt & black tie. No bridesmaids/groomsmen for grandparents. My parents had one attendant each.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

A TW wedding for me is a ceremony (be it at a church or at the reception hall), bride is a beautiful dress (be it white or ivory), bridesmaids, some flowers, men in suits or tuxes, music, reception followed w/meal, music & dancing.

Vivandiere8 · January 2014

I think traditional really means what you would expect a wedding to be if you had no more details other than "I am going to a wedding!". The wedding that happens in 99% of romantic comedies. Vows said in church, reception after, white dress, brides maids and grooms men, dresses, suites and ties, food, dancing, cake, etc. Really doesn't have to do with the price tag attached to it. If the wedding involves saying vows in a train station, red dress, wearing shorts on a beach, costume party, etc... those are examples of non-traditional.

TiaTea · January 2014

Thank you all for your responses.
They are all very important and informative. Since it's all a matter of perception, to create the right mood, wether traditional or untraditional, its very important to know how people feel about it.

Just to summarize and make sure I understood correctly:
White dress, tuxedos, BM, GM, a venue of worship (when apropriate) and resaturant/hall with catering is all perceived as traditional.

Do the BM dresses ( short/long/colors ) speak to you as if TW or not?
Do you feel certain decorations being traditional? As in table centerpieces?

If they ( the couple) are going for "traditional" , what might ruin the feeling for you? What might look out of place? I understand that its all relative, but have you seen something at a TW that really looked out of place?

Also , the opposite, if they decide to go untraditional, what would be your advice? Maybe this is a question for another section, but would you say that something should be avoided , if you want to create the feeling of "nontraditional" ?

firebabe6519 · January 2014

Some traditional colors would be red which symbolized fertility; blue for purity; or yellow was also a symbol of fertility. These were the traditional colors before some prince began the fad of diamond rings, or white was the new color of choice.

CMGragain · January 2014

Traditional wedding = bride, groom, officiant, license, witnesses. That hasn't changed in hundreds of years. (Well, OK, the license thing is somewhat new!)

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