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Invite oops... How to proceed

Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
in Snarky Brides

So it turns out I made some boo boos on my invite addresses... These were completely honest mistakes, and I will give background (sorry if the use of animals is confusing- I took chipmunk and ran with it).

When my brother got married last May, the RSVPs were to go to "The Chipmunks," not Brother Chipmunk and SIL Falcon. They were announced as Mr. and Mrs. Chipmunk. I found out last week, my SIL kept her maiden name! They didn't mention it on their RSVP (my mom told me as she had recently found out, and they only put their first names on RSVP). There was no comment from brother or SIL when I sent STDs, when I sent Christmas gift, or when I sent invites. I've sort of gotten the impression second hand that she kept her maiden name for professional reasons.

My godparents are coming (yay!) When my folks mention them, it's just first names, or occasionally, Godfather first name and Godmother first name Tiger. Mom always sends the Christmas cards and other cards to "The Tigers." The ONLY time I've ever heard my Dad refer to Godmother by her maiden name is when talking about med school (they were classmates way back when), as that's how he knew her. Sent STDs to Dr. and Dr. Tiger. Sent invite to Dr. and Dr. Tiger. Only feedback to my folks was how excited my Godparents were to get those and to be coming (my Godmother, affectionately known as Aunt L, has been fighting cancer and wasn't sure she'd be able to come). Got the RSVP yesterday- Godmother listed her maiden name, followed by "and Godfather Tiger." Again, she may have also kept her maiden name for professional reasons.

I feel mortified. I had no idea, and previous communications were accepted without comment or issue. I know these people well enough, and they know me, that it would not have been a deliberate slight on my part.

Question: on the seating chart and escort cards, should I list SIL and Godmother by their maiden names? Or just Godmother, given that she put her maiden name on the RSVP?

I know this should probably go on the etiquette board, but I prefer the snarky brides :)

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Re: Invite oops... How to proceed

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Just the godmother. I'm in favor of addressing people by the names they indicate they prefer. Seems to me like your SIL uses her married name socially and your godmother uses her maiden name socially.
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  • mimiphinmimiphin member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would call them, or use what they have preferred, I would list her as Mrs. Chipmunk as she has not corrected you. I would use Godmother Panda as she has corrected you.

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  • JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    You should not feel mortified at all.  I remember when we sent an invitation to my husband's (then FI's) aunt who is divorced, for as long as i've known her, she kept her ex's last name.  She even still does things with her ex (innocent family stuff that is!)...next thing you know, I get a call from my MIL yelling at me that I should have used her maiden name!!  Even my husband was like "WTF, did she decide to change it last night?!"  Anyways...just wanted to let you know that this seems like an honest mistake.  The way you can handle it next is that you write the place cards exactly how they RSVP'd...if you're unsure, I guess just start asking around.
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