LDS member/nonmember wedding...

Re: LDS member/nonmember wedding...

• doeydo member

  

  January 2014

  I was raised LDS.  Do you not want to be married in the temple?  Of course, there would be a bunch of requirements. 

  
  

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• MrsJewelHull member

  

  January 2014

  Since my fiance is a nonmember (and we have a very strict agreement about him not converting) a temple wedding is not an option. However as this is one of the most important commitments we'll ever make I would really like to get a priesthood blessing....But he's just not sure he feels comfortable since he's not LDS with getting a blessing like this.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  If you both aren't comfortable with anything of a religious nature, I'd skip it in the interest of fairness and honoring you both.
  

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• antoto member

  

  January 2014

  Tricky!  I suggest letting him know your thoughts on the topic and then leaving him to consider it for a few days before asking for an answer from him.  He probably just needs time.  If the answer is no, he's not comfortable then I think in all fairness it should not happen.  I would be personally totally weirded out if my fiance wanted me to do a religious thing at our wedding that I did not believe in at all.  It's about celebrating the both of you, not just one.

  
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  January 2014

  Why is he marrying you if he is uncomfortable with your religion? Do you still practice? Is he under the impression that you are leaving the church for him?

  
  

  To be perfectly honest, there's quite a lot about LDS that makes me uncomfortable, but I would not marry someone who is active and intends to remain active in that church. That he is engaged to you suggests to me that either you have not discussed this together or he is not on the same page you thought he was.

  

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• princessleia22 member

  

  January 2014

  This is something to be discussed between you and your FI. It sounds like you are compromising by getting married by his pastor, so IMO getting blessing from your church doesn't seem unreasonable. Marrying with different religious beliefs is always tricky and requires a lot of understanding and acceptance. If including your religion is important to you then you need to make sure he knows how important. I think marriage by his clergy and blessing by your clergy seems like a good balance to include both religions.

   

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• emmyg65 member

  

  January 2014

  nicoann said:

  This is something to be discussed between you and your FI. It sounds like you are compromising by getting married by his pastor, so IMO getting blessing from your church doesn't seem unreasonable. Marrying with different religious beliefs is always tricky and requires a lot of understanding and acceptance. If including your religion is important to you then you need to make sure he knows how important. I think marriage by his clergy and blessing by your clergy seems like a good balance to include both religions.

  
  

  Except that OP says her FI is uncomfortable with the blessing. She needs to respect that. 

  
  

  OP, it sounds like you guys need to have another discussion about the role of religion in your lives together and what it'll look like down the line, especially if you have kids.

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  January 2014

  Why is your FI uncomfortable with the priest blessing? I think you two need to take a step back and figure out the bigger religious picture here. It worries me that he is adamantly against something that means so much to you. You also mention having a strict agreement about him not converting -- whose idea was that?
  
  Religion is one of the biggest issues in a marriage. You and he need to get on the same page about this ASAP.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  January 2014

  I feel like something is missing from your post.  Your FI is ok to have a pastor marry him, but will not allow an LDS blessing.  Is there something about an LDS blessing that is more than just a priest standing over the two of you and offering a prayer for you both?  I can understand that your FI does not want to convert, but even if he believes in nothing and you do, where would be the harm in allowing you to have the blessing if is doesn't impact him physically.  He would just be standing there to honor your wishes.  Why does a blessing make your FI uncomfortable?

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  January 2014

  At my sister's first marriage she is Lutheran and her now ex-husand was catholic. The lutheran pastor did the whole ceremony and at the end, the priest just said a quick blessing, less then a minute. It had no impact on the marriage, but it made her MIL very happy. It's not like you are having a Satan worshipping church person come and give a blessing at your ceremony.

  The other idea is to invite your head of church (sorry don't know what they are referred to in the LDS faith) and then ask him to do a blessing before the meal at the reception.

  But in the end, I think this is an important issue that you and your FI need to discuss on why it's important to you to have it and why he is so opposed to it, even though you are not asking to convert. I'm assuming you've already had the discussion on what faith any kids you may have will be raised. I think he needs to clearly express himself on why he is opposed to it, not just a because I don't want it and you need to clearly express to him why it's important to you and again, not just because you want it. Then based on what your answers are to each other, then you two together can talk about and hopefully come to a compromise on the situation.

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• doeydo member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  Also, in your OP you said you are LDS but 'currently not active'.  Do you plan to be active again in the future?  Because being an LDS member (a female one, in particular) can take up a lot of your time.  ETA So is he prepared for that?  Does he respect your faith, though unwilling to convert?

  
  

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