vent!!!

dluberts · January 2014

so I mosied onto another board, which I rarely do anymore. Well I find this one post where these brides ar just making fun of and berating this one girl. So uncalled for, they were being so catty! I opened my mouth and called them snotty b words..oops! So then they got nasty with me cause I called them out on what they were being. They ended up tagging me, hope i dont get kicked, guess thats what I get for opening my mouth! I just couldnt take anymore cattyness from brides!I think i need to stay off the other boards....

kellibastien · January 2014

I literally don't even look on other boards. It's amazing how women planning weddings... for one of the happiest days of their lives... can be so rude! This is the only board I ever check, cause the ladies on here are so kind and helpful

Kristen625 · January 2014

Same here. I've cruised on the other boards and it's horrifying sometimes. I like our nice supportive group here. Besides there are enough off us here that all questions get answered really well and without the drama and bitchyness.

tammym1001 · January 2014

Yeah I go on the other boards and they can be downright nasty. I understand that they think stuff is rude, but I think they forget that the girls are coming on these boards looking for advice. They've likely never planned a wedding before and only know what they've seen. Those other ladies jump on them like crazy though right off the bat. It's pretty ridiculous.

pumpkinsandturkeys · January 2014

I go on the Chit Chat board, but I avoid most others.

garnetandgold60 · January 2014

I go on the Chit Chat board, and read the Etiquette and Snarky Brides board (and some others here and there when I'm bored)...but I never really post on anything other than here and the Chit Chat (and that's only sometimes)...

I definitely think there's good advice to be had on the other boards, but sometimes the way it's "gone about" isn't necessary. I don't always buy the "I'm just being honest" thing...if I were to ask "Does this yellow dress look bad on me?" the honest thing to say is "Sorry but it's not really flattering at all, I'd try something different" not, "OMFG you look fucking awful." You're not honest, you're an asshole. My $0.02

I also don't even want to vent about things on this site because I know I'll get ripped a new one...for example. My MOH comes from a VERY affluent family (trust fund baby) and is newly married and is saying that her and her husband are, quote, "VERY strapped for cash." So my mom very generously offered to pay for her bridesmaids dress...two days later she posts that she and her husband are going to go to Charleston for their anniversary, Key West after my wedding, renovate their bathroom, and they just bought a new cockapoo puppy.

I would get backlash over this in the regular boards because it's none of my concern how they spend their finances...and while I know it's true...to me "very strapped for cash" means (by my firmly middle class standards) that they're having trouble make car payments or something similar...not that you're having a hard time buying a friggin $500 dog. Idk, I feel like our generosity has been taken advantage of and it frustrates me.

BTW...I am VERY sorry I just hijacked the thread. I apologize. I'm just stressed and pissed and needed to vent but didn't feel it was appropriate to make an entire new discussion bitching about my cousin. Sorry!

pbi9994 · January 2014

The "I'm just being honest," thing is getting hella old. That, and the fact that a lot of these women answer questions where people are asking for advice by saying "You're rude," right off the bat, putting the OP in a position where she feels she has to defend herself.

Also, I have to say when one of the most common posters has a signature that says she's been "attacking" brides since 2009, who is being rude?

Also, 2009? And you're bragging about this? Find something better to do with your time.

tammym1001 · January 2014

Yeah I agree that they attack right away. It's really not necessary. I do think they forget that these are new brides who haven't planned a wedding before. Advice can be given without being bitchy about it.

@klc09d - That's bullshit about your cousin. If she can afford all that other stuff then she can afford a BM dress. And while normally it isn't your business how people spend their money, when they start spending yours too then I think it becomes your business.

garnetandgold60 · January 2014

@tammym1001 I definitely agree with you! Brides do need to be corrected because for a lot of us, this is our first wedding and we have no idea what to do. My mother and my family have definitely helped me (manners/etiquette-wise) but there are some things that are different (ex. money dance- happened at my parents wedding, in Cuban-Tampa...but not gonna happen at mine because of the way I've seen it perceived on the boards).

However, to immediately attack someone and then when they try to explain (barring petulant, "but my situation is different!!" people) they're yelled at again for "making excuses." It's a no-win situation.

And thank you for the backup. I love my cousin so much, she's basically my sister, but sometimes I wanna throttle her hahahaha. She's being lovely and is generously throwing me a batch-party, but this "money saving/strapped for cash" thing just really irked me. It may not all be as it appears on the surface (friend gifted them the dog, maybe, instead of them buying it...for example) but the way it comes off is very selfish and almost manipulative. Kinda "I wanna have my cake and eat it too and screw you..." Note, we asked for all the BMs budgets and the dress was in the budge for her, we just wanted to be kind and purchase it for her since they were apparently having "financial issues."

This is the only issue I've had with her, and I sure as hell won't tell her how I feel. It will blow over, and all will be fine, I know. It just needed to get off my chest.

Whew! Novel...over!

klburke88 · January 2014

icecreamcono best post ever, LOL

pbi9994 · January 2014

klburke88 said:

icecreamcono best post ever, LOL

Ha, I just get so sick of the attitude.

@Klc09d - My FMIL did something similar. Complaining about costs, refusing a small rehearsal dinner, and then booking her flights in business class. It's true, we have no right to judge. And we never should have expected her to pay for a dinner. But the fact is, our money and some of our families' money is going into making our guests as happy and comfortable as possible. We have every right to be irked when they would rather pamper themselves than reciprocate in the smallest way.

msdidonato · January 2014

I have to agree with ya'll. I don't comment or post much on here. But I do read a lot of it. I get more answers to my questions just by reading peoples responses!! I love it.

garnetandgold60 · January 2014

@icecreamcono I understand ya completely about the attitude of other posters

And yeah, I'm over it. I just needed to vent...not always, but sometimes, she can have a sense of "entitlement" (I was her MOH and threw her a batch-party...small...but going out to her fave restaurant and then out to bars. I was in college 4 hours away while all her other BMs were in college with her and so I couldn't really leave every weekend to do something {it was the same weekend as our family's shower for her}...well two weeks later fb pictures emerge of all them in Savannah for a 2nd batch-party because apparently mine wasn't good enough and I wasn't invited because of my lack of ability to travel. For this though, I blame a combo of her and her BMs...all of them were married to the groomsmen besides me, and I was just the cousin from FL and was MOH instead of one of them who saw her everyday...and it was pretty obvious that I wasn't a "member of the crowd"). But whatevs, I'm trying to be the bigger person and just smother her with love and tell her how appreciative I am of everything she's doing (which I really am appreciative).

Oh dear lord I had another vent. I apologize for making this all about my issues, I really do. My mom just says I'm being over-sensitive and so y'all are a much better sounding board. I appreciate it!

tammym1001 · January 2014

Klc09d said:

@icecreamcono I understand ya completely about the attitude of other posters

And yeah, I'm over it. I just needed to vent...not always, but sometimes, she can have a sense of "entitlement" (I was her MOH and threw her a batch-party...small...but going out to her fave restaurant and then out to bars. I was in college 4 hours away while all her other BMs were in college with her and so I couldn't really leave every weekend to do something {it was the same weekend as our family's shower for her}...well two weeks later fb pictures emerge of all them in Savannah for a 2nd batch-party because apparently mine wasn't good enough and I wasn't invited because of my lack of ability to travel. For this though, I blame a combo of her and her BMs...all of them were married to the groomsmen besides me, and I was just the cousin from FL and was MOH instead of one of them who saw her everyday...and it was pretty obvious that I wasn't a "member of the crowd"). But whatevs, I'm trying to be the bigger person and just smother her with love and tell her how appreciative I am of everything she's doing (which I really am appreciative).

Oh dear lord I had another vent. I apologize for making this all about my issues, I really do. My mom just says I'm being over-sensitive and so y'all are a much better sounding board. I appreciate it!

Ugh! You still should have been invited! Even if you couldn't travel they could have extended the invitation just in case. Sounds like she has some petty friends

Kristen625 · January 2014

@klcd09d No worries. I totally understand needing a sounding board, and the need to just vent. And if you are being over sensitive its understandable, planning a wedding is stressful even in the best of circumstances.

garnetandgold60 · January 2014

I appreciate all of the support! I'm trying to be easy-going (which is hard cuz I'm a worrier) but sometimes I just want to step back and go "Really? Really!"

And I'm loving that everyone on this board is supportive and--most importantly--REAL. We're not etiquette crazy where if there's a whiff of "not proper" everyone attacks. There's a realization that most of us have never planned a wedding before and so some nudges in the right direction are far more effective than a internet gang-up.

"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar!"

Oh, and another quote from my Grandma for when we start getting stressed out with making every detail be perfect, "Well no one will notice that on a dancing zebra!"

vent!!!

Re: vent!!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards