10 marriage tips...

Re: 10 marriage tips...

• pinkcow13 member

  

  January 2014

  I don't think I've seen it, can you post it?

                               

  

  
  

   

  Report1 Reply
• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  January 2014

  I agree with a lot of that. I make it a point to never, ever, ever talk badly about DH to our friends/family. I build him up, not rip him down. He needs me to have his back, always. And I do.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

  Report2 Reply
• SmileDamnit member

  

  January 2014

  Sorry - put a hyperlink in the text but not sure it worked. Here's the link: http://eighthrising.com/2013/10/28/10-marriage-tips-every-wife-needs-to-hear/

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• SmileDamnit member

  

  January 2014

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  I agree with a lot of that. I make it a point to never, ever, ever talk badly about DH to our friends/family. I build him up, not rip him down. He needs me to have his back, always. And I do.

  @HisGirlFriday13 - one of the ones that most resonates with me as well. It's so easy to want to "vent" - and a support system is a good thing - but so important to remember that others, even those friends and family we're really close to, will always remain biased. 
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• jdluvr06 member

  

  January 2014

  I'm not religious so that one doesn't apply but I agree with a lot of the advice, except I would say it is good advice for husbands and wives.

  Report1 Reply
• pinkcow13 member

  

  January 2014

  You might have - I'm on my phone so maybe it didn't show. I also agree with a lot of these, I think this was very good sensible advice.

                               

  

  
  

   

  Report0 Reply
• SmileDamnit member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  jdluvr06 said: …. but I agree with a lot of the advice, except I would say it is good advice for husbands and wives.
  @jdluvr06 - true in that it's good advice for both spouses. Author actually referenced that in one of her comments. The original post was inspired by another post written by a man (http://geraldrogers.com/marriage-advice-i-wish-i-would-have-had/) so I think that's where the 'wife' part was coming from.

  
  

  **edited b/c not sure where the quote box disappeared to??**

  

  Report0 Reply
• chibiyui member

  

  January 2014

  I agree with @jdluvr06 this is good "spouse" advice.  None of it is really gender specific.
  
  I will admit I sometimes vent about FI, but I always follow up with a positive, or great quality about him.
  
  Unless I'm perioding, cause then there are times I'm just a cranky bitch.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• thisismynickname2 member

  

  January 2014

  Great article. I'm trying to read a lot of this kind of information because I'm so used to being "Ms. Independent". Don't want to screw this up. Keep the good advice coming!

  ________________________________

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• JennyColada member

  

  January 2014

  I really like that article!
  
  One of my FB friends is always public defaming her husband. It breaks my heart for him. I may share this article and hope that she reads it.

  Report0 Reply
• lovesclimbing member

  

  January 2014

  I think all of it is good advice and like PPs said, it's good advice for both spouses.

  Report0 Reply
• CLoGreenEyes member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  All of this advice is pretty solid, and I wish I had read and internalized #9 like four years ago, lol. It's so important to keep things to yourself and not spread needless negativity about your partner. I mean, I do have two friends I go to about relationship issues because they do have the ability to be balanced, validating my feelings while actually helping me figure out how the fair thing to do in a situation, but I feel like that is different. It's never OK to just say whatever you feel about your partner to anyone who will listen in the name of venting; write in a journal, tell your therapist, or better yet, cool down a bit and then talk to your partner directly. And yes, moms, as a general rule, can't be objective about these things. *Kicks self repeatedly*

  
  

  She didn't *totally* touch on this issue but she did allude to it: getting through hard times does not always mean not flipping out when he sloshes water all over the bathroom after a shower. It actually means sticking out through the times when he really, truly fails you - by neglecting your needs, hurting your feelings, the big stuff. Obviously no one should have to stay with someone who abuses them, routinely cheats on them, or wastes their resources with no intention of stopping...but I think one thing I didn't understand before is that even the best partner in the world is going to actually hurt you in some way. I just wish I knew where that line was between sticking it out and giving up; that is very hard to define.

  Report0 Reply